Camera Obscura
by Shiuta-san
Summary: She had only come to complete the mission. It was her soul purpose. She didn't believe in luck, angels, or love in the world that she had found to be so cruel. Can one boy she meets along the way change all of that? IkutoxOC
1. That Day

_Wails bounced off the walls. My younger sister's cries were heard all throughout the house. My feet darted quickly down the disgusting, food-stained stairs. "Get back here, girl!" father screamed, coming out of the door with only his pants on. "You ain't gonna tell NO ONE! You hear?" But I didn't hear. I flitted up and over the cracked a moldy table, nearly skidding on a spilled drink. The smell of the dirty kitchen was getting to my head. I slammed the door tightly. "Get back here, you no good, rotten, God da-"_

The clacking of my boots on the new found tile floor aroused my wandering head. My hazel eyes glanced up from the ground. I stopped, turning my torso slightly to look back out of the hallway, where endless green grass spread for what seemed like an eternity. I sighed, flinging my flaming red hair out of my eyes. I turned back around, continuing to walk to my destination.

I came upon a window-shaped indentation, where black and red baggage was placed neatly in it. A note was left on top of it, the spidery writing of my boss' hand covering the ivory page:

_We will be sending the necessary information to you shortly after your arrival. Have a safe trip, and do not interact with anyone that isn't necessary. _

I sighed, crumpling the letter in my hands. I picked up the luggage, and walked away, my thigh-length black dress moving quickly. I regretted my decision to wear it, now thinking it was a bit too short. The sleeves came halfway down my hands. I got a taxi, and loaded my bags into the back. I slammed the door. "Airport." my cold voice said, astounding the driver. He drove me quickly to the airport, and I sat in one of the uncomfortable black chairs, and took out a notepad and pencil, beginning to draw.

I watched the groups of families passing by. A little girl held her mother's hand, and begged her for ice cream, while another group was sitting at a table, eating hamburgers. My eyes softened as I imagined the little, white-blond girl running along the hallway. "Akira..." I whispered softly.

An hour later, my time had come to make the trip to my new home. I boarded the plane, and took my seat. Sadly, I was next to some random fat guy. He munched on his popcorn chicken the entire time, while I just stared coldly out of the window. He turned to me. "Hey, lady? Where you headed?" I turned to him, my eyes narrowing. "The same place as you, I suppose?" His eyes widened. "Man, I'm going to visit my girlfriend. She has something to tell me... Maybe she wants to advance? I hope I get lucky." he said, smiling. I glared. "There's no such thing as luck."

And so ended our conversation.

I spent the rest of the flight reading a catalog, looking at the sickeningly-sweet outfits. The food came and went. I didn't eat it. It looked disgusting. My eyes clouded as I dozed off...

_Akira was running through the halls of my old house. "NO! Leave me alone! Daddy, NO!" she yelled. I could see my father advancing. "Just come to daddy, like a good little girl... Do what daddy says, okay?" he said, a sadistic smile growing on the man's face. My pale features appeared through a crack in my splintered door. My hazel eyes filling with tears. "NO! No, no, no, NO! DADDY! STOP!" Akira yelled, covering her face as my father backed her against the wall. "Here. Come to daddy's room, and we'll have a little... chat about it?" he said, snickering. _

_Tears welled up at the edges of my eyes. I choked back my screams. If I got involved... I glanced down at my arm, where gashes left by a knife, and bruises from household objects remained. I looked back up, but my little sister was gone from the hall, and father's door was shut. I heard the tearing of fabric. "NO! STOP IT!! PLEASE, STOP IT! I'M BEGGING YOU, PLE-"_

My eyes flashed open. The fat man was shaking my shoulder. "Miss? Miss? Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes wide. I glared. "Why wouldn't I be?" "You were screaming..." he explained, looking appalled. I looked up and down the plane. Many people were staring at me. I looked down. "Gomen." I said softy.

The plane landed, and I quickly got up, wanting to avoid the man. I raced of the plane with my baggage. Battling my way through the people in the airport, and finally got to the door. I waved down a taxi, my life starting to seem overly repetitive. The taxi stopped at the address I had given him, and I stepped out, paying him, and looking at my new home. A small cottage, the screen door threatening to be overgrown with ivy.

I walked up to it, and found a note just inside. As I read it, doubt grew in my heart. I knew that this would be one of my hardest jobs ever.

What is my work, you ask? I'm an undercover agent. I have had many names that I have gone by. My real name is Miyuki Shiuta. Shiuta. I always found it a very depressing name. I do not believe in luck. I do not believe in fate. Angels. Guardians. None of it. It doesn't exsist. If it did, Akira would still be alive. But her death was my own fault. But if angels and guardians and luck egsisted, then her life would not have been taken.

I sat my bag down on the leather couch, and started a fire in the fire place, the winter chill getting to me. I walked around the first and only floor, finding the already furnished bedroom. The ebony bed with its sky-blue sheets stood out in the room of white. I smiled slightly. I heaved my bag into the room, and unpacked my clothes.

I was in the middle of putting my dresses in the closet when I heard a rustle outside. I opened the window, a chill spilling through into my once warm room. I looked directly down. And all I saw was blue.


	2. No Introduction

**Hi! So, I'm really excited about this fanfiction! I really hope that everyone who reads it enjoys it, too! Please read and review! I know the chapters are short, but then there are more of them, you know?**

My eyes widened as I looked down. A boy a few years older than me sat in the bare garden, his eyes were closed. I could feel my face grow hot, but I attempted to hold it back. "Ah... Excuse me?" I asked, my usual cold voice sounding off a bit. The boy didn't stir. "Excuse me?" I said again, this time sounding more assertive. One eye opened. "You're annoying. I'm sleeping." he said. My mouth formed a tight line, and my eyes narrowed.

"This is my home, and you are trespassing. I would appreciate it if you would not act like this property is yours." I said firmly, glaring into the boys eyes. "Your home?" he asked, sitting up slightly, and smirking. "This house has been abandoned for ages." he said. "Well, it's my home. There's furniture and everything. Take a look." I said icily. This boy...

He peeked through the window, and I thought I saw something dart from behind his shoulder. I shook my head. "...Imagination..." I mumbled. "Hn?" the boy muttered. "N...Nothing." I said, looking down. I turned my head sideways to look at him. "Satisfied? Or do I have to make you dinner, too?" I asked. He smirked. "You'd probably poison me. Bye." he said. And with that, he leapt out into the surrounding trees.

I stared after him, letting the blush that I had been holding back flood to my face. My hands went to my cheeks, and I looked down, my eyes wide. _Wha... What was that?_

I finished unpacking my things, and wandered to the kitchen. I opened the fridge, and found some cold pizza. Someone must have prepared for my arrival. I put it in the microwave, and once it was done, I set it on a plate, and took it to the table. I opened a folder, and took out some paper. It was covered with notes for my mission.

My mission... It was the hardest one I'd had yet. A client of my boss wants this thing... the Embryo, was it? Apparently, it's supposed to grant any wish. If those things actually existed, I would use it... To revive Akira, or punish my father. My face hardened. My father. It was hard to even call him that much anymore. He had tortured us both. Before I knew it, I had dosed off again, and dreams of my past haunted me yet again...

_My eyes peeped out through the keyhole in my door. There was no sign of father in the hallway. I saw his door shut, but heard nothing. I assumed he wasn't home, and that my sister was in her room. I walked to father's room. The only place with a phone in the whole house, he had made sure of that. His door was the only one still intact. His didn't need breaking. I slowly pushed it open, not wanting to arouse anything that could have been sleeping on the other side. As the door swung open, and horrible sight met my eyes. I saw my father. He was on top of Akira, her face was pained, but she was not awake. There was blood over the floor. Father's sweaty face looked up at me. "You? What are you doing here?" he asked slyly, standing up. I shut my eyes. I did not want to look at him. _

_As he neared, he hit my face with something that he must have used to knock out Akira. Hard. Splotches of color danced over my left eye. And then that eye went blank. I slowly, ever so slowly, lifted my hand to my eye. As I pulled it down, blood stained it. "That should teach you a lesson, Shiuta," I shuttered. That was the first in a long time that he had said my horrible name. "Not to barge in on daddy," he stopped, looking back at Akira's ravaged body. "While he's busy with your sister. Understand?" he said, glaring at me._

_"Wh...Why?" I asked. His eyes widened. "Why do you do these thing to little sister?" I asked, startled at my own bravery. I looked into his bloodshot eyes, my red hair waving around my face. "Why do you do these things to Akira-chan?" I yelled, tears spilling from my eyes. My sister stirred from her place on the dirty floor. Father smirked. "Learn to respect me. I am your father." he said. _

_That was the day I snapped. I glared at him. "You call yourself a father?" I said, my voice quivering. "You're dirty. You're tainted. You're sick." I said, my voice growing louder. "You... You are no father of mine!" I yelled at him, my face red from the effort. His face was contorted with rage. "Idiot girl." he said, sneering. "You just don't know when to stop, do you?" he smiled. He reached to his bed, and picked up something that looked quite heavy. My eyes widened in fear. "Yes, child." he said softly. "You're going to wish that you'd never said that."_

My head snapped up. I was breathing heavily, my hands spread over my notes. I reached my hand to my left eye. I walked to the bathroom, and looked into the mirror. Yes. My eye was still the same. Discolored. It's once brilliant hazel was now a slight icy-blue. I sighed. As I turned around, I heard noises from the kitchen. My body tensed.

Pulling out a drawer from under the sink, I took out a gun. I kept weapons everywhere in all of the houses I had ever stayed in. I placed my back against the door, raising the gun to my face. Dashing out into the hallway that lead directly to the kitchen, I aimed my gun, and saw- That boy. I dropped my hands to my side, and walked into the kitchen, and placed the hand that had the gun in it on my hip. "What on earth do you want?" I asked, looking at the boys back as he rummaged in my pantry. He turned to look at me, a bag of chips in his hand. He smirked. "You did offer me dinner." he said. I sighed. "Who are you, and what, exactly, do you want? I'm tired, it's three o'clock in the morning, and I'm sleepy." I moaned. "Ikuto." he said. "My name's Ikuto." he repeated. I nodded. "You?" he asked. I looked up, startled. "Sh... Shiuta. Miyuki Shiuta." I said.

I innerly cursed myself at my stupidity. He new my real name now, out of my rush to answer his question. Wonderful. "L-Look," I said, turning away and tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear, my cross earrings dangling halfway down my neck. "I really don't need some random guy in my house, so-" "Lighten up." he said, opening the chips. I turned away. Suddenly, his face was only inches from mine. "Or do I make you nervous?" he smirked. I almost blushed. "Hell no." I replied quickly. His eyes narrowed in curiosity as he turned away. "Why were you screaming?" he asked in his husky voice.

My breath stopped. I put my hand on the door frame to the hall. "I don't know what you're talking about." I answered, looking directly into the TV room. He turned to look at me with those blue eyes of his. "Whatever you say, Shiuta." he replied. He walked to the leather couch down the hall, and turned on the TV. Again, I could have sworn that something was there with him. But I shook my head, heading into my bedroom.


	3. Wishes to Ashes

**Thank you to all of the people who reviewed! To redcherrylilly: I have never written about cannon characters coming together, but I suppose I could try. I actually have it all planned out, and maybe once I reach my half-way point in this story , I will start it. Thanks for reviewing! And to hexgurl001, and xXMidnight-ShadowXx, thank you for your support!:3 I'd just like to say, since I haven't yet, that I DO NOT OWN SHUGO CHARA!! And also, since I can't find an actual place to type your own songs and translate them to Japanese,(no not a musical.), I have taken some from other anime, which I ALSO DO NOT OWN! Okay, I'm done, now. On with the third chapter!!**

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My sleep was dreamless, thankfully. I woke up at the light that seeped through the sheer curtains. I sat up groggily, the light blue quilt sliding off of my body. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand, and slipped off of the bed. I walked to the room next to mine, the bathroom, and took a shower. After I locked the door, I slipped the black nightdress from my body, my bare pale skin shimmering in the dim light. I turned a silver knob, and the warm spray came down from the large brass shower head. I stepped under it, and pulled the curtains across the bar. As I looked down at the bottom of the shower, blurry images ran through my head...

_I walked slowly to the bathroom. I hadn't had a shower in weeks. Father had kept the bathroom locked. The only place to use the toilet was the 'half-bath' on the first floor, with only a toilet and a sink. My hazel and blue eyes narrowed as I approached the door, the heavy metal lock dangling from a chain. I grimaced. Father was out, and I was filthy. I wanted the warm, frothy water to cleanse my body. _

_I raised a pair of heavy pliers that I had found in father's room, and clipped the chain. With a loud thud, the heavy lock and chain made a hole through the rotten floor, and fell to the kitchen below. Carefully, I pushed open the door. The curtains on the shower were drawn. Walking over, I set down the pliers on the perfectly clean sink top. I glared at it, knowing that father probably used this shower himself every night._

_I peeled back the curtains, smiling slightly at the thought of large amounts of hot water. But when I looked down, my eyes widened, and my smile faded. There was my sister. Akira. She was lying in the bottom of the shower. Blood stained her small body. I shut my eyes, and turned away._

_When I turned back, I had a white, fluffy towel, and I placed it over her. "Akira-chan?" I whispered. She stirred. "Shi-oneesan?" her small voice quivered. I nodded, and took of my jacket, placing it around her under the towel. "Are you washing?" Akira asked, trying to sound stronger. I just nodded again, undressed, and got in the shower. I rinsed my hair, and used the herbal shampoo that was placed on the side. I stepped out, dried, and got dressed again. I held my hand out to Akira._

_"Let's go." I said. She looked at me. "What?" she asked. "Father's out. We can get away from here." I explained, thrusting my hand to her. She took her hand, so much darker than mine, and placed it on my palm. She nodded._

_I threw some clothes on her, and we raced down the stairs. The same stairs that, five months later, I would run down to freedom. The same stairs that held me the last time, but not her. We got to the kitchen. The stench of rotten food and spoiled milk met my nose, and I gagged at the smell. We rushed out the door, and on to the over grown lawn. Quickly, we began to hack our way through the weeds. _

_But not fast enough._

_Father's car pulled into the drive. My breath caught in my chest, and my eyes widened. Akira stopped. "Shi-oneesan?" she asked. She never called me by my name. She new I hated it. Father got out of the car. He new that we were there. My brilliant, crimson hair could be seen peeking over the grass. He smirked. "Thought that you could get away?" he smiled, walking over to use. Akira's face grew repulsed, and she shrank down behind me. "Akira-chan, stay behind me. Don't-" I was cut off. "You try to protect her? What can you do?" asked father. I looked up at him, shrinking back, despite my mind-set to stay calm. "I've been out all night. I need my time with your sister." he said. He looked hungrily at Akira._

_I backed away. "No. No. Why do you want her?" I asked. He looked at me as if I were stupid. "It is true that you are older..." As he spoke, his palm stroked my hair, and I flinched away. "But," he stopped stroking, and slapped my head hard, causing me to fall over from the pain. "But you're not beautiful. Your hair is too red," he said, taking Akira's arm and tugging he close to him, forcing her head to rest on his stomach. She tried to pull away, but to no avail."Your eyes are discolored, and..." he trailed off, glaring at me. _

"_You killed my wife."_

I came back to reality, my head spinning. I was doubled over in the bottom of the shower, my crimson hair over my face. I stood up, my whole body shaking. I turned the water off, and stepped out. Placing one of the fluffy white towels around my body, I opened the door, making the steam that had been trapped in the room burst forth, clouding the halls. So cloudy, that I did not see the figure standing straight in front of me. I walked forward, and bumped into something. I looked up.

"Shiuta?" I heard the husky voice say. My eyes widened. Then I glared at his face while stepping away. "What," I said, nearly shaking both from anger and embarrassment. "Are you still doing in my house?!" I asked, hissing. He smirked. "I fell asleep on your couch. My bad." he said, looking down at me. He was so... Tall?

I noticed where he was looking, and covered my chest with my arms. "Pervert." I said in a hushed tone. He chuckled. I glared again. "Just get the hell out of my house." I said as calmly as I could. "Tch. Fine." he said. He hopped over my couch, and out the front door. And yet again, I saw that mysterious shadow, ever looming over his shoulder. And as he closed the door, I could swear I heard a childish voice say, "Ikuto, nyah? Does she have a guardian character?"

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I sat on my back porch, the ice-blue chairs adorned with ebony cushions. I sipped at my tea, staring at the crumpled letter on the glass table top. I glared at it.

_Shiuta,_

_Go to the Easter company. Ask to be given a job in finding the 'Embryo'. Use a fake name. Name inclosed._

I shifted the letter, revealing a small slip of see-through paper. _'Chiharu Hanako' _it read. I scoffed at the name. Was that the best they could do? Given, they had been giving me names for around two years now, but still. It wasn't the best name. I finished my tea, and dumped the cup and saucer in the sink, while getting into my actual clothes, as I was still wearing my nightdress. I slipped on a black Lolita skirt, with a scalloped white-lace hem, and a gray sweater with large, bright yellow buttons. I also slipped on a black hat. Grabbing my bag, and tucking the paper with my name on it, I slipped out of house, and into the crisp morning air. I reached into my bag, and brought out a pair of white cotton gloves with large, black bows.

Stepping off the brick stairs, my boots made a continuous clicking noise while I walked down the sidewalk. I stopped at a coffee store, and picked up a cup of hot, Hazel-nut coffee. I at sipped the steaming brew eagerly, trying to warm my insides with the hot beverage. I finally made it, after what seemed like forever because of the cold, my drink only half gone.

I stepped into the warm building, and I took off my gloves and hat, stuffing them in my bag. I walked up the stairs, and found a woman there. She had shoulder-length, wavy red hair. But it was duller than mine. "Excuse me," I said in my usual cold voice. But the woman didn't seem surprised by it. She looked up, and I saw on her face a pair of very large glasses. "My name is Yukari Sanjo. Can I help you?" she asked in a strange tone. I nodded. "I'd like a job." I said. She looked at me with a sideways glance. "Do you even know what we do here?" she asked. I sneered. I had studied this back at the school that I went to in the base. Of course I knew. "You are looking for a magical egg deemed the 'Embryo', are you not?" I asked. She gave me a surprised look. "We are." "I can help you with that." "What makes you think that we don't already have help?" she asked. I looked her in the eyes. "Something tells me that you could use more." I said, standing firmly by my point.

"What can you do that should make you valuable to us at all?" she asked. I took a deep breath. This was the only reason that I was chosen, out of the many candidates for this mission, to do it myself. "I can make Heart's Eggs come out of the owners, and turn them into X eggs." I said, looking at the ground. The woman gave me an approving look. "Singing?" She asked like she knew. I nodded. "Well, we already have one girl doing that, but I suppose I could see what I could do." she said. "We could use more..." she mused, talking to herself. "Thank you, Sanjo-san." I said, looking at her. "The boss should probably see you."

I followed her to a closed door, and she opened it, ushering me inside. I took a look around the room, and saw only a chair facing out a large window. It slowly revolved. "What is it?" said a voice. "Someone has a talent to offer to us." Sanjo-san replied. I looked the man directly in the eyes. "Your name?" he asked. My eyes blinked. "Hanako Chiharu." I answered, reciting the paper in my left pocket. He nodded. "Sanjo-san, I'll discuss this with you afterwards. You," he said, pointing at me. "Come here." he pointed to a piece of paper on his desk. I walked up, and saw a contract, a pen laying next to it. "Sign." he commanded.

Slowly, I took the pen from the wooden top of the desk. With it, I fluidly signed my fake name on the line below the writing. _Hanako Chiharu. _It was only then that I was aware of another presence in the room. I ignored it, straitening up and bowing. "Arigato." I said, and I turned on my heel to walk out the door. As I passed through the opening, I saw an impassive face looming in the corner. The face of a boy. It was Ikuto.

I walked quickly from the room, not wanting him to get to me. But I was too slow. As I walked out of the door of the building, my coffee, which I had held the whole time, was snatched from my hands. I turned to see Ikuto sipping at it. "Give it back." I sighed. He looked at me with those sad eyes of his. He pulled the cup away from his lips. "Why did you sign it?" he asked. "What?" "Why did you sign it?" he repeated. I looked down. I shrugged. "Dunno. Same reason a lot of other people did, I suppose." I replied. "Can I have my coffee back?" I demanded icily, reaching out for it with my gloved hand. Instead he drank the rest, and crumpled the cup in his fist. I sighed.

"Oh, gee, thanks." I said. He looked away. "You were screaming again this morning." he told me. I turned away. "That's nothing you need to be concerned with." I replied. "I'm going home." I said in my cold voice, and I walked into the cold air, leaving Ikuto standing there, looking after me.

I didn't get home until dark. I had been out in the shopping mall, buying clothes and household appliances. I crashed onto my bed, my bags set down on the floor. I sighed. "Why can't I just be nice to him?" I asked myself, looking at th ceiling. "This isn't how I would act..." I thought out loud. "If my father hadn't existed." I said, closing my eyes. "I wish I could be more like the girl I would be if none of this had happened!" I cried, and then rolling over, I drifted off to sleep.

**-Normal POV-**

A little egg sat in her bed that night, it's white shell gleaming in the moonlight. "Shiuta-chan. Please notice me..."


	4. My Voice is Arsenic

**WOOT!! Okay! The fourth chapter is here!! Yup... Anyways, if I don't update at some point for a while, it's because of the massive amount of homework our teachers give us. Thank you for the reviews!! Keep 'em coming!! Don't own song in this chapter... Song is ending theme to Vampire Knight, Kanon Wakeshima, Still Doll.**

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My eyes slowly focused on the wall above me as I heard an annoying beeping noise coming from my beside table. What is it I had to do today so early...?

"SHIT!" I yelled as I jumped out of bed. Today I had to go to my school. For some reason, they had put me into an all-girl's school. So many girls packed into a tiny school, I was afraid of a cat fight. After I showered and dried my hair, I slipped on my school uniform: A white Lolita dress with bits of lace, along with a black dress-coat for the winter. I braided my hair, my long hair going down to my waist. I also put in color contacts, making my eyes green, although my left one was a bit lighter. I put of my black hat, and my white gloves. It was when I was about to leave to get my bag and shoes that I noticed something. A lump showed through my neatly made sheets, the sky-blue covers bulging at one point. I raised an eyebrow. I couldn't stand thing like this.

Walking over, I lifted up the sheets, and set them down again. Nothing changed. This led me to presume that I had left something under the covers. I stripped my bed, only to see a small... Egg? I stared at it for quite some time. I leaned over, carefully picking it up in my gloved hands. The white shell of the egg was adorned with lace and ribbon prints. But also of the egg, a large black rose sat, while a shimmery silver scythe crossed over it. As I looked at it, it shook.I dropped it onto the bed, looking at it apprehensively. I looked at my watch. "Oh, hell with it." I said in my cold tone. I scooped up the strange little egg, and ran off to my school.

My teacher walked into the room. "Class, today we have a new student. Please come in." she said in her kind voice. I stepped into the room, my black heels clicking on the floor. The girls stared at me, and I looked down, annoyed. _I might as well just die here. You have got to be kidding me._

"This is Haruko Jun. Haruko-san, please greet the class?" she asked, looking at me. I looked up, and nodded at them all. I really didn't feel like talking. The woman scowled, but showed me to my seat. The rest of the day was simply a pain. The girls all glared at me. The only one with red hair in the whole school. I wondered if some of them had dyed it. It wasn't like red hair was uncommon. But mine was a very bright crimson.

After school, I grabbed my black bag, and walked quickly to the doors. I heard some girls attempting to catch up to me, to question me, no doubt, or to tease me. But I rounded the corner outside, and lost them. I sighed. Hearing a rustle in the bushes, I turned, thinking that I would see Ikuto. But it was just a bird. My cold eyes softened. The little bird was struggling to break away from a vine wrapped around it leg...

_That night I pondered on his words. "You killed my wife... You killed my wife..." I killed my mother. What did he mean? I could faintly hear my sister's cries, and I shut my eyes and ears, not wanting to imagine what exactly he was doing in there, thought I knew. I had seen his clothes out in the hall. He hadn't even bothered to wait. My mother... She had been a beautiful person. I remembered her blue eyes, the same as my sister's. Her blonde hair... Like my sister. _

_Why was I so different? If it was true that I and I alone had been responsible for mother's death, then it was also true... "I am responsible for Akira's suffering..." I murmured. "Finally figured it out?" I heard a gruff voice say. I looked up from my place on a mat in the corner. My bed had been ruined long ago. Father stood in the doorway. "Wh-what do... What do you want?" I asked timidly. He smirked. "Shiuta..." I flinched at the name. I hated my name. __"You used to sing for Maria, didn't you?" he asked. _

_Maria. My beautiful mother's name. I looked down, and nodded. He smiled in mock happiness. "That's what did it." My breath caught it my throat. My... Singing? "Yes, that was it. I remember. You used to sing for her every night." he said, looking into the distance. Then he turned to glare at me. "Your voice is poison, Shiuta." he told me. That stung like a whip to bare skin. "Death Song..." he murmured. My eyes widened. My name's meaning... Death Song. I shook my head. "How is my voice poison?" I cried, tears streaming from my eyes. "Idiot girl. Why else would she have died? She was perfectly healthy. And then..." he trailed off. He grabbed my lamp, and threw it at my face. The collision shattered the clay base, cutting my scalp and forehead._

_"My poison voice...?"_

I looked up from the ground, shuddering. I was looking into those familiar eyes. Those eyes that calmed me so easily. I hid these feeling deep. Glaring, I spoke in my icy voice. "You again?" I asked. He merely smirked. "If you have nothing to say, then-" I turned to walk away, but a hand grabbed my shoulder. "You were screaming..." he muttered. I sighed. "Why do you even care?"

"You seem so unhappy. Yet you want to sing for Easter. Do you like singing?" he asked in his deep voice. "Can I hear?" he asked. "No." I replied. He smirked, and looked at my face, only inches from his. "And why not?" "You're just some perverted weirdo. Why should I sing for you?" I don't want to sing for you...

"Just sing. I can play along with my violin." he answered. I watched as he took out the instrument. I sighed in defeat, my cold eyes looking to the ground. "Fine." I told him. "Couldn't resist, could you?" he smirked. I glared at him. "Oh, whatever." I said. I felt, faintly, something in my bag move. I stood in my place, filling my lungs with air.

"_Hi miss alice_

_Anata garasu no_

_Me de donna yume wo_

_Mirareru no?_

_Mirareru no?_"

By this time, he had picked up on the tune. He played a note slightly above my voice, but I kep my pace.

"_Mada atashi_

_Kokoro ga sakete_

_Nagarederu_

_Tsukurotta_

_Sukima ni sasaru_

_Kioku-tachi_

_Hi miss alice_

_Anata ga jitsu no_

_Kuchi de dare ni ai wa_

_Nageteru no?_

_Nageteru no?_

_Mou atashi_

_Kotoba o tsumaku_

_Shita no netsu_

_Same kitte_

_Meteru outamo_

_Utae nai_

_Still, you do not answer_"

I finished my song. My poison voice still ringing in the open air. Poison... He looked at me with those eyes of his. I stared back. "See ya." I said, and I turned away. I was so stupid. I could have stayed there. I could have talked with him. But I hadn't. I looked to the ground. Something stirred in my bag again. "Why can't I just be my true self?!" I yelled at the sky.

"But you can!" a little voice said. I looked to my bag. The little egg was floating just out of it. "You..." "Hello, Shiuta-chan!" she cried happily. I flinched. A fluffy, lacy, white Lolita dress was on her body. She had little white bat wings bordered in black. She had long, white blond hair, done up in elaborate braids in ribbons. Her brilliant, ice-blue eyes looked at me with love. "I am your Shugo Chara." she said. Shugo... Chara? Guardian... Character? My eyes widened and my heart stopped as she whispered that one word. Her name."My name is..."

"Akira."

**- - - - - - - - - - - - - **

**-Normal POV-**

Shiuta's red hair waved in the wind. Her eyes wide with both fury and sadness. A boy waited in the bushes, his blue hair waving in the wind, staring at the girl. "What... Did you say you were called?" she asked the little character above her. "Akira." said the little girl in a soft voice. "And you're... Like a guardian angel?" asked Shiuta, her hair shadowing her eyes. "Yes. I was born from-" But Shiuta cut her off. "YOU DON'T EXIST!" she yelled, her face plastered in a gory expression of rage. "B-but Shiu-" "DON'T CALL ME BY MY NAME!" she yelled, tears spilling down her face.

"Guardian Angels do not exist. If they do, it's their fault that Akira is dead. Not mine." she said, quivering in anger. She looked up at the little girl in the air. "ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU DON'T EXIST!" she yelled, balling her hands into fists, screaming at the sky. "YOU DON'T EXIST! YOU DON'T! IT'S NOT TRUE! YOU DON'T, YOU DON'T, YOU DON'T!" she yelled.

Akira's eyes clouded over, and a black aura surrounded her. Ikuto watched from the background. "That is..." he murmured. "Ikuto-nyan. What's going on?" asked a little cat character.

The black aura engulfed the little chara, white sparks popping about the orb, making a loud crackling noise. The energy slowly blew away, leaving the little character. But she was changed. Her white dress was now black, and her hair a deep chocolate brown. Her ribbons were black and purple. "Yes, Shiuta. You are right." her erie voice said. Shiuta looked up at her. "There are no guardian angels. There is no one watching over you. There is only power." she said. "Then what are you?" Shiuta's cold voice asked her. The chara smirked. "I am your power. Do you want it?" she asked. She floated down, and held out her tiny hand. Shiuta looked at it, then her cold eyes narrowed. She stepped forward, and took Akira's hand.

"And so we begin."


	5. Choking on Air

**Thank you for the reviews!! I listened to the song that was suggested, and I like it a lot, so I think I will use it. Thank you!!^.^ On with chapter five!! Song is Tabi no Tochuu, from spice and wolf. don't own, and you don't have to read all the lyrics, just so you knowhanekayou And yeah... By the way, I messed up in the previous chapter. The wings are supposed to be butterfly wings, just so everyone knows. And I did not write walking on air, and I don't own it, Kerli does, and she's awesome. Okay?? I don't wanna be sued, I'm broke!!!**

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_An egg fried in the pan on the stove. It was the last one, and father wouldn't get groceries for a while. I sighed sadly. I heard Akira wailing upstairs, and periodic grunts from my father. It had been a month since father had spoken to me. I walked up the dirty stairs with my egg in my hand, and I heard my father walk out of his room, leaving Akira weeping inside. I smirked at me. "Hey, that's mine." he said, swiping the plate from my hands. I watched him it eat hungrily. "B...But, father, we have no more food. What do I-" "Eat? Nothing. The only one I need is your sister. That's all." he said, and he turned and went back to his room._

_I heard him end down, and lift something off of the ground. Akira squeaked in fear, and began to scream as I heard the bedsprings creak. I plugged my ears, and sat in the hall. I wanted to do something. To stop all of this. I stood up, and went to my room. Taking out a black bag, I began to stuff anything that looked significant into it. The pair of pliers that I had used to get into the bathroom was one item. I looked back as I went to the stairs. "I'll come back..." I whispered. But what I didn't know was that I would not be leaving. __As I made my way out the door, and slowly stepped into the night, I heard something. I thought it to be a stray cat, or mouse. But it was not so. _

_I stepped carefully into the long grasses, when I heard it. Footsteps, getting louder. Louder. I began to sprint frantically through the grass, but I wasn't fast enough. I looked behind me, only to see a large dog racing after me. I screamed, my voice piercing the night. I heard father laugh. I hadn't known that he had gotten a dog to keep us in. I tripped over something, and fell on my face. Scrambling up, I turned over just in time to see the dog lunge for me. Instinctively, I shielded my face. Then an agonizing pain seared through my body as the dog bit down on my ribs._

My panting breaths woke me. My eyes searched the room, and then I sighed. I could see... Akira... Up in the corner, watching me. "Shiuta, are you alright?" she asked in her erie voice. I nodded. My alarm went off then, and I got out of bed. I had a meeting with Easter before school, and I had needed to get up early. I got into my clothes, hopping around the place trying to get on my socks. My purple dress tied up in the back, but the lace was getting in the way. I put on a black fleece jacket, stretching down to my knees. Shoving on my boots, Akira followed me out of the door.

I was skipping school that day; I didn't feel like going. I walked into the Easter building, the warmth spreading over me. I went to the elevator, and pressed for level five. The lights flickered as we went up. "Shiuta?" Akira asked. I flinched. "What?" I asked. "Would you like to character change? It will enhance the power of your voice." she said. I shook my head no, and she went and pouted in a corner. The doors opened. "Chiharu?" asked a voice. I looked over to see Sanjo-san. I nodded.

"This way." she said. I followed her down the hall, many doors lining it. She opened one, and a stage was shown at the end. A girl with long, blond hair in pigtails sat in one of the seats. I set down my bag in one of the chairs, and walked onto the stage, slipping in a CD.

"Is that her?" I heard the blond whisper. "Yes. She says she can sing, and I want to see if she really can. If not, she'll be placed with Ikuto." Sanjo-san replied. Ikuto? Just hearing his name sent butterflies through me. The music started.

"_Tada hitori_

_Mayoikomu tabi no naka de_

_Kokoro dake samayotte tachitsukushita_

_Demo ima wa tooku made_

_Arukidaseru_

_Sou kimi to kono michi de_

_Deatte kara_

_Tabibito-tachi ga utau_

_Mishiranu uta mo_

_Natsukashiku kikoete kuru yo_

_Tada kimi to iru to_

_Yumemita sekai ga_

_Dokoka ni aru nara_

_Sagashi ni yukou ka_

_Kaze no mukou e_

_Itetsuku yoake no_

_Kawaita mahiru no_

_Furueru yamiyo no_

_Hate o mi ni yukou"_

I finished my song, and looked at Sanjo-san for her approval. She nodded, stopping a tape recorder that I hadn't known she'd had. "Very good. I'll show this to the boss." I attempted to smile, but I don't think that it worked. "We'll also come up with a stage name for you." she said. I innerly laughed. I had a different name every where.

The blond girl stayed behind as Sanjo-san walked out. "What is it exactly that you want?" she asked in a harsh voice. I turned to her. "What do you mean?" my cold voice asked. "I don't care why you're here or anything," she said. _Wait, so why did she ask? _"But stay away from Ikuto." she ordered. My heart pounded in my ribcage. "Excuse me?" I asked. She glared. "Stay away from him." and she walked out.

So, he had a girl. I had no chance, then. She was, after all, very pretty. I sighed, and walked from the room, my chest heavy. Had anything ever turned out right for me? I left the building, and went out to the park where I had sung to Ikuto. The first time I had shared my voice with anyone but mother. I set down my bag on the edge of the fountain, Akira floating next to me. I sat down, feeling angry. I took a deep breath, and brought to the front of my mind the english words that I had once written on paper.

" _La La La La La La La" _I sang in a soft voice, placing a hand on my chest.

"_There's a little creepy house_

_In a little creepy place._

_Little creepy town_

_In a little creepy world._

_Little creepy girl with_

_Her little creepy face,_

_Saying funny things that you've never heard." _I took another breath.

_Do you know what it's all about?_

_Are you brave enough to figure out?_

_Know that you could set your world on fire,_

_If you're strong enough to leave your doubts._

_Feel it, breathe it, believe it and_

_You'll be walking on air._

_Go try, go fly so high and_

_You'll be walking on air._

_You feel this, unless you kill it -_

_Go on and you're forgiven._

_I knew, that I could feel that -_

_I feel like _

_I'm walking on air._

_She has a little creepy cat_

_And little creepy bat._

_Little rocking chair_

_And an old blue hat._

_That little creepy girl - oh she loves to sing,_

_She has a little gift - an amazing thing._

_With her little funny eyes of hazel,_

_With her little funny old blue hat._

_She will go and set the world on fire -_

_No one ever thought she could do that._

_Feel it, breathe it, believe it and_

_You'll be walking on air._

_Go try, go fly so high and_

_You'll be walking on air._

_You feel this, unless you kill it -_

_Go on and you're forgiven._

_I knew, that I could feel that -_

_I feel like _

_I'm walking on air._

_Flitter up_

_And hover down._

_Be all around,_

_Be all around._

_You know that I love you._

_Go on." _A few tears leaked out from under my closed eyelids.

"_Feel it, breathe it, believe it and_

_You'll be walking on air._

_Go try, go fly so high and_

_You'll be walking on air._

_You feel this, unless you kill it -_

_Go on and you're forgiven._

_I knew, that I could feel that -_

_I feel like _

_I'm walking on air._

_I'm walking on air._

_I'm walking on air."_

I finished my song, and looked to the ground. As I walked from my place on the fountain, I didn't care to notice a foot hanging down from a nearby tree.


	6. The Boy with Blue Hair

**Hey, people, sorry for the HUGLEY LONG wait on this story. I know, I know, I'm a suckish procrastinator, and I know it... I'm so bad. Anyhoo, hope you enjoy this chapter! :3 (It's so cool, I can now type w/o looking at the keyboard!! So proud of myself~!**

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My mind was a blank screen as I walked home. Akira floated behind me, giving me a look of mingled disapproval and anger. I didn't understand it. As I took out my house keys, she opened her mouth to speak. "Don't sing that song again, Shiuta." she said in a monotone. I flinched. "Who are you to boss me around? I thought it was _me _who had _you, _not the other way around." I spoke in an icy tone, fighting to keep from yelling at her for her arrogance.

She simply bobbed after me as I stepped over the threshold, and watched me apprehensively as I made to hang up my coat and gloves. I turned on the television, and marched defiantly into the kitchen. She was still behind me, trying to be inconspicuous. As I turned on the stove, which was making a few ominous clicking sounds that I chose to ignore, I spun around to meet her head on. "_What?_" I asked, clearly irritated.

"Promise me you won't ever sing that song again." she said. My eyes blazed with a sudden, unexpected heat. "They're _my lyrics!_ I _wrote _them!**(NOT TRUE, NOT TRUE! LYRICS BELONG TO KERLI AND HER ONLY!!!) **_You_ can't tell _me_ not to sing it if I _want_ to!" I replied heatedly. I turned my head back to the stove, where the butter in the pan was now completely melted. I put a small piece of raw chicken into it, with some veggies and some herbs.

I heard Akira mumble an inaudible something, and then poke me in the back of the head. "Bugger off." I said, making a swipe for her. She turned gracefully around, and headed off to my bed room. I turned back to my chicken, which should have been about done, but found it gone. I sighed, and looked to my left.

"Yo." said that familiar voice that I both loved and hated. I closed my eyes in annoyance. "Oh, _hell._ What are you doing in my house?" I asked, opening my eyes. "_Again?_" He appraised me with an eyebrow arched. "Just stopped by." He made a face. "You're not very welcoming, are you, Shiuta?" I flinched, and slapped him on the chest. "Tch. What was that for?" he asked, a little annoyed.

"Don't _ever, EVER _use my name." I replied through clenched teeth. "_You're _the one who told me your name, you know. And it's not a bad name, or anything..." he stopped and looked at me. "_Shiuta."_ "Shut. Up." I said again, grabbing a ice cold bottle of tea from the fridge, and going into the room with the TV. I sat down on the black leather couch. Ikuto sat down next to me. "Nice couch." he said in a tone that I knew implied certain things. "Just shut the hell up, why don't you? Besides," I said, turning to face him, my face now a bit red. "_You're _already in a 'relationship'. So stop being an asshole, and go bother your girlfriend." I said, narrowing my eyes at the TV screen.

"Relationship?" he scoffed, smirking. "One; Who said anything about me wanting a relationship," I blushed hard at this remark. "And two; Who exactly am I in a relationship with?" he said, smirking down at me. My body stiffened. "Hoshina Utau." I replied nonchalantly. He spilled the milk he had been holding on the couch. "_Oh, fu-_" I started to say, but before the "ck" could get out of my mouth, he was off the couch.

"Has she been saying that again?" he asked. His voice was still just as low and sarcastic as it always was, but I could tell that he was upset. "Er... Yeah, sure, why not?" I said sarcastically. I shoved myself off of the couch, and went into my room. _Get ahold of yourself, Shiuta, _I thought to myself. _Why are you getting so worked up? You__'re usually so cal__m..._

I saw Akira in the corner. "A... Akira? This isn't--" She turned and smirked at me. "_Pay-back-time!_" she chimed in a sickly-sweet voice. I growled deep in my throat. Upon looking in the silver-rimmed mirror above my bed, I could see and ivory rose stuck in my long, red hair. I reached up to touch it; It felt like silk and chiffon. I heard Ikuto talking to someone in the other room.

I peered out into the hall. Ikuto was quietly conversing with a tiny chara, its cat ears and tail quivering slightly. "Ikuto-nyah! There's a dark chara in here, I wanna leave!" it whispered in a whiny tone. "I know there is," he replied, looking around to see if I had emerged from my room yet. I ducked behind the door, still listening intently. "I need to get that thing away from her." he finished, glaring up at the ceiling. He leaned against the wall, hands behind his head.

"Why she excepted something so obviously evil, I can't guess." he said. My eyes trailed down to the hall ground. I glanced back to look at Akira, who had, apparently, heard nothing. _He can't take her away..._

I pushed myself upwards, and sauntered out into the hall, looking moody. I heard Ikuto whisper something about "PMS-ing" to the little chara before he darted out of sight. I slipped into the kitchen to put a kettle on the stove. Ikuto walked cooly over to where I stood. "Shiuta..." he murmured, placing a hand on the counter. I glanced up, glaring icily. "_What?_" His arms snaked around my waste, and pulled me closer. I could feel his breath on my face. "Leave Easter..."

I raised an eyebrow. "So, you're going to _seduce_ me into quitting my job?" I said faintly, mesmerized by his blue eyes. _How the hell does he do that to me? _

His face neared mine, and he pressed his lips to my neck. A blush shone on my face, his fingers tracing my spine. I closed my eyes. _Stay calm, stay calm. Just be how you normally act. Shove him away. Calm. _I repeated the words over and over, but they had little affect on my body. My arms tried, piteously, to push him away. He was doing much more than moving his lips up and down my neck slowly, and rubbing his finger down my back, but I couldn't bear this feeling.

"C-c-could you... D'you think you could... Ikuto, get off, please." I whined, trying again to push him away. He stepped back, observing my red face with delight. "You liked it and you know it." he told me, leaning toward my face. "Stop that." I said, glaring. "Stop what?" he replied, attempting to play innocent. I sighed. "Just think about it. There's still a chance." And he opened the door, and was gone.

I lay my head down on the pillows. That night, I had a dream. A memory that I hadn't been able to remember for a long time...

_I crept slowly out of the back door. The dog lived in the front yard. Under my clothes were countless bandages, and the cuts were infected because we had no disinfectants in the house, and I had a dangerously high fever. I stepped quietly into the night, my messy, spiky hair shifting lightly in the breeze. I marched down the concrete steps, and carefully hopped over the fence, the barbed wire cutting into my palms. I was immediately on a barren street. And eighth of a mile up the road was another town, so I began to walk that way, swaying dangerously. _

_It was then that I heard something behind me. Coming out of a hole in the fence that I hadn't spotted, I saw father glaring at me in the dark. My breath caught in my throat. "There you are." he growled, pushing off the fence towards me. I began to run, feeling sick. My old shoes' soles were slowly slipping off, and they made me trip a few times. Luckily, my father was drunk._

_I neared the town, and saw three children playing in the road. I put my hand flat against the grainy brick wall to my left, my head hung. When I looked up, I met the eyes of the tallest of the three. His hair was a brilliant blue, as were his eyes. To his right was a girl with beautiful blond hair, and to his left a timid blond boy. I assumed the two blonds to be related. "Utau, Tadase, stay back..." he said slowly._

_'But, I'm not insane! I need help!' I wanted to shout, but I was still breathing heavy breaths, and my fever was no better. Even worse, the dog's fang scars were throbbing with fire-hot pains. The boy began to, cautiously, step closer to me. I looked up into his eyes, expecting to see fear. But I saw only pity. He opened his mouth to speak, but something grabbed me from behind, pulling me to the asphalt, and I cut open my chin._

_I looked back to see father, and the boy was looking at him defiantly. "Thanks for findin' my girl." father said gruffly, glaring at me with a mixture of repulsion and hatred. "I don't think-" the boy started in a strangely deep voice. "I don't care." said father, and he began to drag me away on the asphalt. _

_It was then that I finally got my voice back. "Help..." I croaked out. "Help! HELP ME!" I screamed as my skin was rubbed raw on the street. I began kicking and thrashing. Tears streamed from my eyes. "HELP ME!" The boy ran towards me and... My vision turned to black._


	7. Her Sadistic Charm

**Really sorry it's taken me forever! Busy with school work and projects! And when it says Sadist in here, it doesn't mean sexually, just having pleasure(not sexual, again) from inflicting pain... Well, enjoy! If you have any suggestions (songs and plots) they are very welcome!**

I woke up from my restless sleep drenched in cold sweat. Breathing heavily, I peeled myself from my bed. I checked around the room, seeing Akira pondering my face from across the room.

"Shiuta?" she asked, her voice full of menace. I could tell she was savoring my pain.

"It's.... It's nothing," I replied, walking out of the room. I was thinking about my dream. Ikuto had been in it... Ikuto. Why was he there? I had never once remembered him in any of my memories of the past. But... Could it be possible that I had met him before? The only part of that memory I had ever remembered before was when I had arrived home...

_Father dragged me the whole eighth of a mile home, all the while I was screaming, crying, kicking and bleeding. "Mom! MOM!" I screamed. "SOMEONE HELP ME!" I screeched, my father kicking my back hard. I heard a tiny crunch, my back cracking under the pressure._

_"Shut up, ungrateful little bi-" "HELP ME!" Father looked at me as if I were a repulsive cockroach, meant to be stamped on. What if-? My thoughts were interrupted by a hard slap across my face._

_"I put those clothes on you ungrateful back, you sick little girl. Now I suggest you keep quiet!" I gulped, the pure hatred in his eyes got to me, and deep in the pit of my stomach, fear sprung up dangerously, like a budding rose. I whimpered piteously, and regretted it._

_"Good girl," he said. "I need to get home, Akira is probably in my room, still..." I gasped, and began kicking again. I couldn't let him go back there. Maybe Akira could escape...? But father grabbed my wrists as I screamed, and drug me right-way up back through the hole in the fence, my wounds getting cut on the free end of the chain-links, blood flowing down my stomach._

_He dropped me in the yard, and ran back to the house, slamming the door. He came back out with some moldy ropes, and brought me indoors. He quickly tied me to the cold metal frame of my destroyed bed, shutting the door behind him. It was quite for only a few moments, then the house was again filled with Akira's screams. _

_I closed my eyes, trying to block out what was in my mind. I felt around the back of the bed, and my hands clenched around something. A razor! Father's razor that he had used when.... I looked down at my arm... Then pushed the thought out of my head. This razor was me and Akira's ticket out of this place, and I was going to use it._

_I sawed at the ropes quickly, the mold making it take much longer than it should have. At last, the ropes came free. I stood up, and quickly ran down the stairs, Akira's wails bounced of the walls, the cries of my one and only sister filling this God-forsaken house. _

_"Get back here, girl!" my father yelled, coming out of his room with only his pants on. I didn't listen, but flitted quickly over the table, my light weight and long legs vaulting me over the obstacle, almost slipping on a spilled liquid. I opened the door, the soft morning breeze ruffling my hair. I turned, seeing my father running down the stairs, dragging a small blond girl in a towel with him, looking scared._

_"SEE! Your only older sister, scum of a sister, is a coward! She's too scared to endure with you! She's leaving!" he reached for me, and it all seemed to happen in slow motion. Akira's face smiled a small, sad smile, father's hands missed my body by inches, and my grimy, bare feet stepped over the threshold, and out into the over grown front yard._

_I tore out of the house, my breath becoming shallow. Dog's barks echoed in my ears. Father's yells and Akira's derisive laughs bouncing around the empty lot. Akira's mind was far gone, I knew. Weeds whipped at my face, my feet hit the cold hard ground, my lungs opening to allow in more air. I smiled and screamed._

_"YES!" and I exited the lot, and ran up the street, not stopping until I would reach the Police Station one and a half miles away... _I gasped, coming out of my memory as if doused with ice water- Which I had been.

Akira floated above me, an empty glass in her gloved hands. I glared, my wet red hair crackling with annoyance like a smothered fire. "What?" my sharp voice pierced the awkward silence. Akira shrugged. "Someone's at the door," she replied, bobbing away. I walked over to my door, and opened it.

"Sanjo-san?" I asked, surprised that my new manager was here. The woman nodded, and stepped into my house. "Well, you got the job, and you need to get song writing. Just thought I'd stop by, see how you lived and such... You do well for yourself, I see..." she continued to stare around my living room. "Yes...?" was all I could say. "Well, we'll be expecting you at the building in around two hours, just so you can sign a few papers and I think Utau wants to talk to you... Have a nice morning..."

She stepped out of my house, shutting the door behind her. "A phone-call would have sufficed," I muttered, going into the bathroom. I looked through the small closet at the end of the room, picking out a light, white dress with of the shoulder long sleeves, black tights and a pair of white, lace-up heels with grey trim. I dried my hair, running a brush through the fiery strands. I put one brown contact lens in my eye, making my blue one seem more real.

I stepped towards the door, deciding to take a walk until I was expected back at Easter. My walk started in the park, looking for inspiration for a song. That's when I caught a glimpse of my favorite shade of blue. Ikuto stepped through the bushes, accompanied by- A girl? That sent electricity through my system. Ikuto had a smirk planted on his face, the girl blushing furiously.

"Ikuto?" I asked angrily. I knew he wasn't mine. I knew I shouldn't be jealous, but I felt that I was being played. Ikuto looked up from the pink-haired girl next to him.

"What's up?" he asked, clearly oblivious to the hint of annoyance in my voice. "Care to join me?"

"And get played by the world's biggest womanizer? Yeah. Right." I replied coldly, turning. Ikuto smirked.

"Some sounds jealous,"

"Am not,"

"Are, too," he replied catching up to me, the girl forgotten behind him. I was vaguely aware of a few other kids running up the street.

"And if I am?" I replied frostily, keeping most emotion out of my voice.

"Well, then, I'll just have t-" "TSUKIYOMI IKUTO!" a male voice interrupted. But when I turned to see the source of the voice, I didn't see what I had expected. The male voice I had heard came from the most feminine-looking male I had ever seen. It made question whether or not he was actually a girl with an exceedingly male voice.

"Ah, Kiddy-King?" Ikuto replied playfully, his arms snaking around my waste, which I slapped off. There were several children surrounding the pink-haired girl, now. All around the same age, and all were glaring at Ikuto. "What is Easter up to now?" asked the blond boy. If that's what he was.

"None of your business," I butted in.

"And you are?" asked the purple-haired girl.

"Chiharu." I replied, earning me a puzzled look from Ikuto.

The boy and the others behind him Character Changed, gaining aspects of their Charas, and the pink-haired girl Changed completely, resembling a pink cheer leader. "Hand over the bag of X-eggs, Tsukiyomi Ikuto!" he yelled. I realized that Ikuto was holding a burlap sack, and he smirked. "orders are orders," he whispered.

"Akira, change with me," I said quickly to the character above my head. She gave a sinister laugh.

"Of course," she said, she tapped my shoulder lightly. A sensation starting at the tip of my spine spread down my body, my outfit changing from white to black and purple. A corset covered my torso, and a purple skirt covered in black lace went halfway down my thighs. The white chiffon rose was in my hair. Black heels were on my feet, and black butterfly wings were on my back. I sneered. "Are you sure you want to get in our way?"

The boy didn't back down, and the pink-haired girl stepped forward. "Give us the X-eggs." she yelled. "No." I replied. I snapped my fingers, and black mace appearing in my hands, the spiked ball on the end of the chain held in my left hand, the handle in my right. "Are you prepared to back up your request?"

"Heart Rod!" she exclaimed, a pink rod with crystal hearts on the end appeared in her hand. As the other children spread out, surrounding Ikuto and I, she jumped back, throwing the rod at my face. As it came towards me, I dropped the ball of the mace to the ground, the sidewalk cracking. I lifted the handle, and swung the mace. "Sadist Mace!

The ball swung towards the rod, breaking it in half. She would be able to use it later, but it got one obstacle out of my way. The mace vanished, replaced by a long whip that coiled on the ground. As the other children closed in, I stood stoic and calm in the center, my head still staring in the direction of the pink girl. My eyes shifted, looking at the running children.

I raised my whip, preparing to crack it. "Nightmare Whip!" The whip-crack sent shock waves in the direction of the oncoming kids, sending them backwards, and I could tell the sound had caused their hair to stand on end. Then I noticed that Ikuto had character changed as well, his character change outfit made him look... Well, hot.

I ran towards Ikuto, and jumped onto his shoulder, using his to vault myself into the air. I spread my butterfly wings, propelling me into the air. I spun in the air, spreading black dust from my wings. The children were temporarily blinded, and Ikuto and I left to go to Easter. This just left me with one question: What was Ikuto doing with the X-eggs?


	8. Similarities

Ikuto and I made our way over the tops of the many buildings between us and Easter in silence, the crowds below us making it less awkward with the many loud words they yelled at each other, the hustle and bustle relieving tension between us. He still had the sack in his hands, his blue cat ears and tail swiveling, in case the kids had followed us. I finally chose to speak.

"Who was that girl?" I asked loudly, not wanting to sound embarrassed or jealous.

"Oh? Why so curious?" he smirked, flickering his eyes at my face then away again. "Someone sounds jealous..."

"I am not," I replied, looking straight ahead.

"By saying that, you just sound even more suspicious," he said hopping from rooftop to rooftop quicker in order to keep up with the pace of my flying.

"So? Who was she?" I replied, attempting to seem completely unnerved.

"Amu, she's a Guardian- That's who those kids back there were," he replied, smirking over at me with that gorgeous face of his... Wait, what the hell? I shook my head, clearing my mind.

"Why do you have those eggs?" I asked.

"It's my job." Right. Because I didn't already know that. As we neared the Easter Corporation, I began to feel uneasy. What could they be planing, bringing in X-eggs by the bag full? Ikuto and I were our normal selves now, and when we landed on the sidewalk I looked up at the huge glass building.

The Easter building was probably the largest place I had ever encountered personally, aside from Headquarters, it's tall, never ending glass windows creating four sides to the building. I stood in awe for a moment- I had never really taken in just how large it was. I looked back down, and noticing Ikuto moving for the doors and glancing back, I followed him inside.

The first thing that I saw when I entered the building was Hoshina Utau at the front desk. She turned upon hearing someone's entrance, and her eyes widened and lit up as she saw Ikuto. She spread her arms wide, and began to run in his direction; Then she noticed me.

Her smile faded and her eyes narrowed, her eyebrows knitting together. Her smile turned to a look of anger and sadness: One of failure. And deep in the pit of my stomach, triumph or annoyance wasn't what I felt... It was guilt. Utau turned, now fuming, in Ikuto's direction, her fists balled up at her sides.

"Ikuto! Why are you with her?" Ikuto merely turned away, and walked up the long staircase to report to the head of the building. My eyes shifted back to Utau, her beautiful blond hair hung limp with disappointment- Her pained face, which was following Ikuto's back, bringing up memories...

_Akira's face peered through the snow covered window her full, rosy cheek pressed against the cool glass. I came up from the kitchen, setting a plate of fresh cookies down on my dresser._

_"What is it, Akira?" I asked, her pained but beautiful face turning on me._

_"I wanted to go to the park today, shi-onee-san," _

_"What for?" I sat down beside her, brushing the sleek fire that was my hair from my still normal eyes._

_"I... I wanted to see... To see him..." I raised an eyebrow,_

_"Who's-?" I was cut off by mother entering the room, her beautiful blond hair surrounding her peach-colored face. Her blue eyes peered out at Akira and I under her perfect lids, shimmering with a light white eye shadow._

_"Gossip-corner?" she smiled, sitting by the window with me and my sister. I giggled, and Akira turned away moodily- She didn't enjoy being made fun of. My mother stroked my hair lightly. "How are we, today, you two?" she asked. _

_"Akira has a crush." I replied quickly, sitting up straighter._

_"Do not!" protested Akira._

_"Oh? What's this?" mother laughed, her voice sounded like a thousand birds singing._

_"...He's nice to me..." Akira whispered, looking out of the window. Mother kissed the top of her head gently. "I'm sure you'll be with the one you love, someday..."_

_A year and six months later, Akira and mother were dead._

_Father was in jail._

_And I was in a Foster home..._

"Hey!" a yell split the brief silence. I looked up, spying Utau glaring at me again. In her energetic, passionate face I could clearly see Akira... And there was something about Utau that I admired, but it was no use- She totally hated me. I sighed, running my long pale fingers through my hair.

"Yes?" I replied, looking at her. It was hard to be cold to her.

"What is the relationship between you and Ikuto?" she blurted in one breath, her glare murderous. "Because I'll have you know that I'm closer to him than you'll ever be!" I smirked.

"Ikuto occasionally visits my house," I began teasing her, but that's as far as I got.

"I've shooed away every little buzzing fly that's gotten near Ikuto!" _Fly? _"You won't be any different!" she finished, her Chara flying behind her, hissing out giggles. "You tell her, Utau!" I raised an eyebrow. I suppose Utau and I make powerful rivals?

After speaking with Sanjo-san after escaping Utau, I learned that I was having my first CD release the following week. I needed a song, and fast. I exited the building, heading first to a restaurant. I sat down at the table, and ordered. The table was for two, and I felt a little lonely while sitting there, waiting for my soup to come. I kept imagining flashes of Akira in the chair. The image would then flash to Hoshina Utau, then the pink-haired girl... Amu.

Amu also reminded me of Akira. Not her features... Her strength and confidence... That was what Akira was like before... Before father snapped. My meal arrived, and ate it slowly, mulling things over in my mind. Father... Akira... Mother...

I took out a sheet of paper from my bag, and a pen. After staring off into space for a brief period of time, I began to slowly write words. I needed a song finished by this weekend, or else Sanjo-san would strangle me.

That night, I stayed awake. My mind was flowing freely, and I couldn't make it stop. Amu... Who was Amu? Why was she with Ikuto? And Utau? What was her connection to him? And why... Why did I see Akira in Utau so strongly? Then, there was the issue of Ikuto himself... Why did he have to make me feel so... Crazy....?

The morning came and went, school coming first on the warm day. I sat in the back of the class, my hair braided and contacts in, muttering to myself the lyrics I had written.

"Haruko-san!?" A sharp voice interrupted my incessant muttering. I looked up.

"Sensei?" I asked quickly, making the rest of the class giggle.

"What did I just say?" the teacher asked quietly, glaring in my direction.

"Uh..." I had no answer. I looked down, highly embarrassed. This is why I had hated school so much. As the class laughed and pointed, I glared at my hands. Damn them all... With their wonderful lives and parents... Beside me, I felt Akira shift, her evil, repulsive sneer growing ever the wider at my angry thoughts. Her cold and empty eyes watched me and my inward struggle with my emotions. I hated her. I hated her, but... Could she be Akira? I couldn't risk leaving her behind, in case she really was, or... I'd lose her yet again...


	9. True Love Shit

**Finally, UPDATED! I haven't written this stuff in a little over a year, so I apologize if this chapter seems a little off beat- I'll try and make it better, though. I recently made a tumblr account with some OC picture stuff- Akira and Shiuta and her chara should be up shortly, but right now it's only OCs from my Naruto Fanfiction, Chronicles. **** Tumblr account URL is on my profile, ****check it out! Anyways, please read and review!**

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It was the middle of the week. It was chilly as ever outside, causing me to retreat to the warmth of my home, a fire blazing in the fire place. I was wearing one of those loser-old-lady christmas sweaters, my long flaming hair put up unceremoniously in an untidy bun. A high-pitched whistle filled my kitchen, and I walked to the stove to turn down the heat, the water for my tea now boiling. As I poured the water over a tea bag and into an antique green glass mug, I heard a resounding crash from the back door. I jolted, spilling scalding water all over my hands.

"Shit," I muttered, hissing in pain as the boiling liquid burned my flesh. I quickly set down my mug, wiping at my hands. Akira hovered in, an angry look on her face. "What was that?" she asked, glaring at me. "Hell if I know," I retorted, walking in the direction from which the noise came. I stepped carefully down the hall and turned the corner into a room, only to see Ikuto standing over some shattered glass, rubbing the back of his neck in slight embarrassment. He looked up, catching my eyes and making an apologetic face.

"My bad, Shiuta, sorry..." he mumbled. "Nice going, Ikuto-nyah," Ikuto chided, flying down to observe the damage. I shrugged my shoulders. "It's` whatever, just replace it." He smirked. "As if, I don't have that kind of money-" Akira interrupted. "Oh really? You seem to have enough money to by that Amu girl pound upon pound of ice cream," I froze. What was he doing, buying her ice cream? I tried to remind myself of the fact that Ikuto and I were nothing more than friends, and judging by how he acted around that dumb pink-haired girl, that's all we ever would be. It didn't stop me from being angry and jealous.

Ikuto must have caught on to my distress, because he walked over to me, a smirk plastered on his perfect face. "Is someone jealous?" he asked, and I had an overwhelming sense of de ja vu. Was that all he knew how to ask? I huffed, folding my arms and turning away. "No, I was just surprised- You don't strike me as the pedophile type," I countered, causing him to give me a look of disdain. "I'm-" he paused, taking in my appearance. "Nice sweater." I growled. Way to change the subject, asshole. "Shut up," I said icily, blushing and walking back to the kitchen.

"Hey now, hey now." he said, following me. "I didn't just come here for no reason," "What a surprise," I interjected, finally pouring myself some luke warm tea. he frowned. "No, really," he said, taking the milk carton out of my fridge and gulping it down. Now it was my turn to frown. "Gross, Ikuto, don't do that." I scolded, snatching it from his hands. He looked upset. "Fine. Anyways, Sanjo wants you down at Easter this afternoon. You're recording today." he explained after seeing my puzzled expression. I gasped.

"I thought I had another three days!" I yelled, putting my tea on the counter and running to my room to get dressed. I yanked a simple, navy mid-thigh length dress from my closet, the sleeves just coming over my shoulders. I paired the monochrome dress with a tan leather belt, the big round buckle settling nicely on my midsection. I slipped on a pair of grey and black oxfords, and I grabbed my black peacoat as I rushed out the door.

"Hey, wait up," Ikuto called, running after me with Yoru and Akira hot on his tail. "No, you hurry up," I called back, flagging down a taxi and hopping in. Ikuto just barely making it. "Jeez, you're so slow..." I said quietly. "What was that?" Ikuto replied, leaning down so he was at eye level with me. I sighed. "Nothing..."

The taxi stopped in front of the Easter building, and I stepped from the vehicle, shutting the door behind me. Ikuto got out as well, and he led me up to the doors, careful not to slip on the icy stairs. "Chiharu," I heard a voice say, and I turned to see Sanjo-san glaring at me from the next floor up. "You're late, we've been waiting for a while." I glared at Ikuto. He shrugged innocently, walking away casually with his hands in his pockets. I climbed the stairs to the recording studio, removing my coat and draping it over the couch in the recording area.

"Go into the other room, and put on the head set," Sanjo-san commanded. I sighed but did as I was told. I heard the music which we had worked on together a few days previously begin, and I felt as the ivory chiffon rose appeared in my hair, thanks to Akira. I heard the male voice singing the intro, which meant I only had a few spare moments to prepare myself.

_"In a dream I was a werewolf_  
_My soul was filled with crystal light_  
_Lavender ribbons of rain sang_  
_Ridding my heart of mortal fight..."_

On cue, I parted my lips, took a deep breath, and began to sing.

_"Broken sundown, fatherless showdown_  
_Gun hip, swollen lip, bottle sip - yeah I suck dick,_  
_Lose grip on gravity falls... sky blinding crumbling walls._  
_River sweep away my memories of_  
_Children's things, a young mother's love."_

I sighed. These lyrics were special to me. I had slaved tirelessly over them, memories of my mother flooding into my mind. My sixth Christmas, the smell of fresh plum cake on the table, decoratively displayed with sprigs of holly... I missed her. I missed her so much.

_"Before the yearning song of flesh-on-flesh,_  
_Young hearts burst open, wounds bleed fresh..._  
_A young brother, skinny and tall, my older walks_  
_Oceanward and somber, slumber sleeping_  
_Flowers in the water,_  
_But I'm just his daughter._  
_Walking down an icy grave..._  
_leading to my Schizophrenic father._  
_Weeping willow, won't you wallow louder?_  
_Searching for my father's power."_

Images of my father's angry face flashed through my mind, and I could stop myself from flinching in fear. _"You're useless... You're ugly... I hate you... Just die!" _All of his hurtful words replayed in my head.

"I_'ma shake you off though,_  
_Get up on that horse and_  
_Ride into the sunset._  
_Look back with no remorse..._

_"He's a black magic wielder, some say, a witch._  
_Wielded darkness when he was wilein' on his mom's_  
_And born child and he was the bastard that broke_  
_Up the marriage- evil doer doing evil from a baby carriage._  
_And he was born with the same blue eyes,_  
_Crystal ships, dripping with ice, diamonds coruscate_  
_In the night fireworks electric bright._  
_And now he's got his own two sons_  
_Tried to hide his tears in a world of fun._  
_But loveless bedrooms filled with doom_  
_Bring silent heartache July to June._  
_Woon over new young hot flame,_  
_Mourn the memories later._  
_Laugh, now, aligator..."_

I vaguely wondered where father was now. If he was dead or alive. If he had any regrets. Would he do anything differently? Part of me wanted to believe he wished to atone for his many sins. But most of me knew that was wishful thinking.

_"Oh, in a dream_  
_My father came to me._  
_And made me swear that I'd keep_  
_What's sacred to me._  
_And if I get the choice_  
_To live in his name_  
_I pray my way through the Rain_  
_Singing 'Oh happy day'..."_

_"I don't mean to close the door,_  
_But, for the record my heart is sore._  
_You blew through me like bullet holes_  
_Left staind on my sheets and stains_  
_On my soul."_

A this, I thought of Ikuto. He made me feel new, alive, and beautiful. My eyes saddened, thinking of the young pinkette, and how humiliating it was to lose to a child.

_"You left me broke down beggin for change,_  
_Had to catch a ride with a man who's deranged._  
_He had your hands and my father's face-_  
_Another western vampire different time same place._  
_I had dreams that brings me sadness._  
_Pain much deep that a river._  
_Sorrow flow through me in tiny waves of shivers-_  
_Corny movies make me reminisce._  
_Beat me down easy on this generic love shit, first kiss, Frog and Princess..."_

I went quiet, the rose vanishing from my hair. I could faintly here Sanjo-san slowly clapping behind the glass, and I shut my eyes. _Mother... I'll make you proud._

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**Finally updated! Sorry if this chapter was lacking. But I just wanted to get started. Song is 'Werewolf' by CocoRosie. Please review!**


	10. Fever

**So this chapter is definitely going to be much much shorter- It's almost entirely focussed on Shiuta's past, and is integrated with the song she's singing. Song is 'Dragons' by my new all-time favorite band The Green Children, from their new album Encounters. I can't find the pre-written lyrics ANYWHERE so I had to do them myself- if they're wrong I'm sorry, it's my bad. Enjoy and please review!**

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I waited patiently for the next rhythm to begin, attempting to avoid tapping my feet as Sanjo-san and her assistant scrambled with the controls. I sighed as I once again felt the chiffon rose weighing down my hair, and I heard a few clicks coming from the control room. Ikuto stood cooly in the door frame, his arms folded staring straight at me, his shoulders against the side of the door frame. I really... Hated singing in front of Ikuto. Ever since my dream a while back, I couldn't shake the feeling that I knew him somehow... And from more than just the brief encounter in my dream. My lyrics weren't just gibberish- They were things that reminded me of my life, and this particular song made me think of him. And I didn't like that he was watching me record it. I heard the opening begin, and I inhaled deeply as my time to sing drew nearer.

I was also afraid. So, so afraid. Fearful... That he would discover my past.

_"This morning, I was climbing roofs. Like I heard my momma said I never should," Age three Shiuta sat on the slate roof of my home, and it was as though I was witnessing my own past. I could see mother standing below me, her hand shielding her eyes from the sun, the tall wheat grass and her plain white cotton dress making a picture-perfect scene._

_"-but I knew I got a feeling for the 'never have tried at all'. And now there's a dragon in my room- Heatin' up, before tea at noon. My hair was stuck on and it ran afoul." A small girl, a mirror image of myself, sat in a bed, coughing up blood. A cold sweat drenched my body, and my fiery hair stuck to my chest. The burgundy color of the blood was startling against my snowy sheets._

_"Caught up in pain, I couldn't tell. But I'm fallin' with fever!" _I was blocking out everything and everyone, and I let myself go into my world- My world that was forever stuck in the past with my many regrets.

_"Don't get too close to my bed- 'Cause I'm burning, baby. I'm hearing things in my head. They speak to me up from inside," My small, still matching eyes shifted from the scenery outside of my cracked window, ignoring the horrible screams immanating from the hallway. I lifted my hand, letting my finger tips touch the cool glass. My world, a constant Winter._

_"I need more to save me. Give me a place I can hide. He's not leaving, is he ever gonna let me go?" I sat in the street. Father was out, and Akira wasn't anywhere to be found. Why I hadn't run then was still a mystery to me. A boy with indigo hair and a small girl around my age with blond hair rounded the corner, and I came face to face with them. There was an awkward pause, and we made eye contact. The boy smiled at me, and I nodded back. As I watched the smaller me interact with who I could only reason was, in fact, Ikuto, I could see his lips moving. But I heard no words._

_"I believe, but no one ever seems to know, why I shiver when I open up my eyes. Do they all think I am full of lies?" I sat with my sister at the end of the hallway. Her shaking fingers came to mine. She took them in her tiny fists, and squeezed as hard as she could. I watched, but heard nothing. Her teeth were clenched, her whole body shaking. What was she saying to me?_

_"So tell me, what's come over me? If my view is not what I see." I could see myself, I would have been ten. In one hand, I held a bottle of amber liquid. My solid sea-foam green tunic shirt concealed how malnourished I actually was, my tight jeans were baggy. I watched as I let the bottle of alcohol touch my lips. Why hadn't I remembered this?_

_"Fire and water is red and blue. It always reminds me of you!" Red and blue hair tangled in the wind, and I focussed on Ikuto's and my face, which was blowing what looked like smoke into his face. What I saw in my fingers almost made me gag. Was I smoking marijuana? I stamped out the joint, turning my back on Ikuto._

_"I'm fallin' with fever! Don't get too close to my bed- 'Cause I'm burning, baby. I'm hearing things in my head." I threw a glass bottle at the door, and as it shattered my father ripped the door open. I could see from his expression that he was yelling at me. I spat at him, and I wobbled. He yelled again, and grabbed a doorknob that was laying on the ground, and aimed it at my body, the blow bruising my upper arm heavily._

_"They speak to me up from inside. I need more to save me. Give me a place I can hide!" Water hit the asphault, and I could almost smell the slightly sweet aroma of green leaves and paper. I forced my eyes upward, and I could see tears streaming down my face. My fiery hair wasn't glossy, like I remembered it being from when I remembered myself sitting on the roof when I was three. I had my bangs pinned back, and I was wearing the same sea foam green shirt. What... No. Who... Was I?_

_"Don't get too close to my bed- 'Cause I'm burning, baby. I'm hearing things in my head. They speak to me up from inside. I need more to save me." My mother and I walked down the street, she carried my favorite white sandals in her right hand, her other wrapped tightly with mine. I looked backwards, and I met eyes with the eight year old me. Her daunting hazel eyes held nothing close to what I had seen in ten year old me. Pain. Lonliness. Guilt. Addiction. My mother vanished off of the asphault, and my sandals dropped to the ground. I seemed to grow on the spot, and when I turned around again, I could only see the hollow face that was once so vibrant._

_"Give me a place I can hide. I lost my love, I wanna leave to meet him. Please hold me back- You know I owe this to them." I remembered, once again, when I had next seen Ikuto. He was playing with the two blondes. And he had been afraid of me. Even as I cried for help, the look in his eyes told me that I was a monster._

_"Give me some ice, or throw me under water. Slap me hard, and shake my senses." Flashes of my father holding my face forcefully under the hose, throwing me up against walls, suffocating me in plastic bags. These images filled my eyes one after another in rapid succession. Plates breaking, girls wailing, blood spattering. I could hear it all, flashing through my senses, and I could feel it all over again. The shock nearly woke me up from my trance. It was like ice water, sending prickly tingles down my spine._

_"Help keep me strong, please help me home, help heal my heartache. Make me resist, I feel his breath, I hear him calling." I made a mad dash out of the house, my bare feet getting cuts on the bottoms as I sprinted through our overgrown yard. I made it to the road, and knew this place in my mind. I had relived it many times. As soon as I reached the road, I would turn and continue running until I reached the police. I saw myself reach the tar covered street. And pause. I had never remembered this before. I turned to my right. There stood Ikuto. He was calling to me. Motioning to me. I wanted to tell myself, 'Go to him!' but I knew she wouldn't hear me. She simply made no expression, her cold eyes baring down on Ikuto. And he watched as she turned away from him, as her father tore through the grass. She took a step, starting into a sprint, and turned her back on Ikuto. _

_"Don't let me be taken. I lost my love, I wanna leave to meet him. Please hold me back- You know I owe this to them. Give me some ice, or throw me under water. Slap me hard, and shake my senses. I put them back, I hear him calling." I opened my eyes, meeting with the hazel eyes of another girl. Her flowing red hair and pale skin gave her the look of a fire in the middle of snow. Her cold eyes regarded me, and I could smell the stench of alcohol on her breath. I stared at her, and she stared back. This girl... Was she really me. I reached up to touch her face. She shut her eyes, and as my fingertips grazed her cheek, I was back where I started- My eyes staring out of the freezing glass of my bedroom window, ignoring the cries of my sister. I squeezed my eyes shut, slamming my forehead against the windowpane._

_Once again, I stood in the middle of the street. Ikuto stood stoic to my right. Freedom stood to my left. My time was limited. I could hear rapid footsteps behind me. What was my choice?_

_"I heard him calling, 'Dragon'..."_


	11. Dress Code

**Chapter 11! I'm really excited about where this story is going, because I'm starting to think of some major twists with Ikuto and Shiuta- NO ONE WILL SEE IT COMING. Maybe. It's still in the works. Anyways, enjoy and review, as always!**

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I was staring out of the window of my house, watching car after car move past my eyes. I held a steaming mug of chamomile tea in my hands, the white clay mug soothing and blank. My hair was in a long ponytail, and my bangs were pinned back in the middle of my head. I was wearing sweatpants and a high-necked zip-up jacket. I sighed, air rushing from my between my lips and blowing the steam from the surface of my tea. This is all I had been doing since my song recording yesterday. Sitting in my high backed velvet chair, drinking tea and watching cars. I hadn't eaten in almost sixteen hours- Not since Ikuto had bought me some ramen on our way back from Easter.

He seemed to have cought on to my distressed mood. I don't think he knew exactly what to make of it. He didn't say much on the way back, his hands in his pockets, and I remember that I felt his gaze on my face. My mind had been occupied elsewhere, focussed completely on retaining the images I had seen while I was singing.

I inhaled deeply, the scent of my tea having a calming affect. It was snowing again outside, and the cars were becoming spotted with white. All was quiet in the house, and I stood to turn on my electric fire. Akira bobbed into the room, and hovered down to touch the tips of her toes on the kitchen counter top. She eyed me strangely, sensing my lost feeling. "Shiuta, what's wrong?" I didn't answer her for a while, and after I turned on my fire place, I moved back to the kitchen, absentmindedly putting more milk into my tea. "Do you know... That is to say, have you been with me all of my life?" I asked quietly, stiring the hot liquid with a long silver spoon. She nodded, still looking at me with a slightly suspicious look. "What... Was I like?" She smiled.

"You were strong, vibrant, and confident. Even after your father cracked. You never let him get to you, and you pulled through. You stayed constantly bright in that dark house. Your sister was too weak to stay strong, but you, Shiuta... You perserveared." I shifted my eyes in her direction. Why was she lying to me? My newly-recovered memories could possibly be lies... Could they? What was she up to?

"Are you sure?" I asked, staring blankly into my milky tea.

"Positive,"

"Then why do I feel like you're lying?" I retorted, staring down the miniature girl. She flinched, and glared right back at me.

"I would never! We are one, Shiuta! Why would I lie to myself?"

"I've been asking myself the same question," I whispered, picking up my tea and walking to my leather couch, sitting down with my legs criss-crossed under me. I snatched the remote from the coffee table, hitting the power button and turning on the DVD player. One of our home movies was still playing. A gorgeous blond woman was standing by a river, her arms clasped behind her back. At the sound of a man's voice calling 'Maria-chan' she turned around, smiling widely. She knelt down. "Akira-chan, come to me!" she laughed, extending her arms as a small blond girl, almost identical to Maria, ran into her arms. They giggled, and I entered the picture, wading quietly in the river behind the other two girls. My fiery hair stood out against the greenery to my rear, and I looked up, waving at the camera.

As my mother and Akira cuddled together on the river bank, I froze in the water, completely disconnected from the family portrait that was unraveling before me. I sighed, and trudged onward farther down the river.

I hit pause, and burried my face in my hands. My memories, which I had once thought to be so flawless and faithful to the past, were so jumbled and confusing. For once in my life, I was unsure about what had really gone on in my life prior to now, and I couldn't be sure what was real, and what was lies. I decided to go out, so I wandered down the hall to my room and opened my closet, picking out some dark-wash skinny jeans, black pumps and a grey velvet, high collared jacket, the golden buttons shining. I wore a simple tank top underneath it, and I slipped on my shoes, picking out a feathery, white scarf and tucking it into my jacket collar. I stepped into the cold outdoors, Akira hovering right above my shoulder. The snow flurry had ceased, and all was calm.

I continued to walk down the sidewalk, deciding to turn at the interesction and explore the park. The trees were covered in ice, and I mentally slapped myself for dressing so lightly. My heels were clicking sharply against the frozen ground, and the quiet breeze carried a voice to my ears. I faintly recognized it, somewhere in the back of my mind. The voice drew nearer, and I could now make out what they were saying.

"Geez, Ikuto, you are such a jerk!" A sly laugh almost drowned out the girl's words.

"You know you like it," replied a deeper voice. My heart stopped, and so did my feet. A mental war broke out in my head. Should I continue walking forward, or turn around here? Either way, they would no doubt catch up to me eventually. So I would see them whether or not I turned around right now. But I was more than relucatant for the awkward meeting that was sure to follow my meeting them. I took a breath, and stepped forward, one foot after the other. I had to concentrate hard.

At last they came into view, that stupid pink-haired skank and that stupid indigo-haired player. I huffed angrily, my hands stuffed in my pockets, balled into fists. I could feel Akira quiver slightly in annoyance. Before they could look up and see me, a large group of X Eggs made their way in between us. Slightly startled, I stopped walking again. Ikuto and the other girl's attention turned, also, to the eggs that were chanting "Hopeless... Hopeless..." The girl then spotted me. Amu, I think Ikuto had said her name was. That stupid bitch.

"X Eggs!" she cried, and I noticed not one but three charas above her shoulders. Oh_, special_. I said to myself sarcastically. "Miki, Character Change!" the blue one nodded, and she transformed into a rediculous costume consisting of a giant blue hat, blue and white striped tights and a really ruffly shirt. Give me a break. "Akira," I said simply, and she tapped me on the shoulder, transforming me for a second time. As soon as I came out of the transformation, I started to shiver. Damn, it was fucking freezing out here.

"Shiuta?" Ikuto called over to me, finally noticing me. I frowned. "Shut up," He glared. "Oh, excuse me." he said, folding his arms. He looked pissed at my attitude. The Amu-girl glared at me. "Back off, I'll be taking these X Eggs and purifying them." I shook my head. "No, I don't think so." I replied, folding my arms. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm a lot stronger than you are," Amu growled, balling her hands into fists. "What's your aim, huh?" she yelled, and I was getting worried that her obnoxious banter would startle away the X Eggs. "Do you just like pain? Are you even with Easter?"

"She is," said Ikuto, putting his hands in his pocket. He was out of his normal black clothes, and was dressed in a simple grey hoodie and jeans. He looked so... I shook my head before my thoughts could travel to his gorgeousness. "Don't you understand what these eggs are?" Amu yelled at me. Was she 'trying to get through to me'? Save me from the dark? How hopelessly naive. "Of course I do." I replied, dropping my arms to my sides. "These are broken dreams. Dead hopes. Shattered futures. So what?" Amu looked close to tears. Of anger or just stupidity, I couldn't be sure. "Of course you're too young to understand exactly how the real world works. But I would have thought that you had at least grasped the idea," She continued to glare at me as I stepped forward.

"Dreams don't come true. Get that into your thick skull and make it stay there. Being hopful is pointless." She'd heard enough. She lunged for me, a giant paintbrush in her hands. She swung it across her body, and I could only assume it was supposed to be her attack. "Ooo, I'm so scared." I smirked, opening my hand, a giant axe landing softly in my palm. The red blade shinging and sharp, the opposite end heavy and blunt. I let it drop to the ground, the sidewalk cracking.

"AXE IMAPLEMENT!" I yelled, heaving my weapon from the ground and swinging it into the air, not only blocking her weak attack, but sending a spear of air straight into her stomache, knocking the wind out of her and sending her flying back. "Hey, Shiuta-" Ikuto began, but I ignored him. "Don't speak to me," I spat. He had just been messing with me the whole time. He knew who I really was, didn't he? He was just punishing me for the way I had treated him in our past. This was all a game to him, wasn't it?

"Iron Maiden!" I cried, putting my fingers together and spreading my arms apart. A giant metal box appeared where the X Eggs were, and I brought my palms together, closing the box abrutply. Amu gasped. "The X Eggs!" she was tearing up, and Ikuto looked distraut. "Shiuta, stop this, right now!" he yelled angrily, and a bright light surrounded him as he Character Transformed with Yoru. I growled deep in my throat. "What are you doing Ikuto?" He frowned, stepping towards me, looking me in the eyes from around my Iron Maiden. "You know what I'm doing," he said in his deep voice, and Amu sat on the ground behind him. I felt like I might throw up. "Are you really going to attack me, Ikuto?" I scoffed, laughing manically.

Ikuto lunged, his razor sharp claws aimed straight at me. I didn't know what was happening. Why was he doing this? What was going on? My eyes went wide as he drew nearer. I bent over backwards just in time, and he narrowly missed my chest. I brought my leg up, kneeing him in the gut, earing a moan of pain from Ikuto. I smirked. "You actually thought I would let you?" I laughed scathingly, kicking him again and sending him into the air. A giant blue paw erupted from his hand, and it lashed out at me. This time I couldn't avoid it, and I was swatted back onto concrete, my head cracking against the walkway. I hissed in pain, tears springing up in the corners of my eyes.

"I don't want to do this, Shiuta," he said, walking towards me. I pushed myself up halfway, the lower half of my body twisted in a sort of odd way. My hair was spread out over the ground, and I stared down at the ground. I was grinding my teeth together. Fuck Ikuto. Fuck Amu. Fuck Easter. I tried to push myself up again, but I couldn't move. Ikuto reached down, and grabbed me by my neck, forcing me up against a tree. "You're out of control," he said coldly, tightening his grip. I let out a hiss of pain. "Oh, am I?" I croaked, barely able to form words. He looked down too late, a switchblade already in my hands and centimeters from his shoulder. I stabbed, and ripped through flesh and muscle. Ikuto cried out, dropping me to the ground.

"That was a rotten move, Shiuta," he winced, covering his wound as Amu ran towards him. "And you're a traitor," I hissed, throwing the switchblade onto the sidewalk, and casually turning my back on them.

I hadn't bothered to undo my character change, and I sat on a bench at the opposite end of the park. I was beyond freezing, but I didn't care. Maybe I would just let the frost take me, here and now. My lips were stiff and probably blue, and goosebumps covered my skin. I suddenly felt a soft, warm cloth cover my shoulders. I jumped, the sudden contact surprising me. My reaction earned a soft laugh from behind me. I didn't turn around, but a few moments later jeans came into view, and I peered upward. A brown-haired boy, ears pierced and hair adorably messy, stood in my line of vision, a small smile on his face.

"Hey," he said, sitting next to me. He looked to be my age, a couple months give or take. I simply stared at him. "What are you doing out here all by yourself?" he asked, his arms stretched out over the back of the bench. "And in that get up..." he joked, taking in my character change outfit, the bottom of my dress being tantalizingly short. I almost blushed. "I could ask you the same question," I replied, drawing the jacket he had given me around my shoulders. He laughed again. It sounded kind and genuinely happy. Not like the sarcastic and teasing laughs of Ikuto. Ikuto...

"Well, I'm dressed for the weather. You, on the other hand," his eyes once again raked over my body, studying me. I squirmed under his gaze. "You're definitely not dressed for snow." I shrugged. "My bad," I replied, looking into the distance. "Most definitely," he laughed, looking off in the same direction. "Can I ask why you're out here, though?" I didn't answer him, and he sighed. "Well, at least let me walk you home." I gave him a look. "Why?" he looked at me as though I were stupid. "I can't just let a pretty girl like you walk by herself in the cold. I'd feel like a total dick." I let out a small, dissmissive laugh. "I can take care of myself-" "And props to you for that, but you can't even dress properly for the weather, so I think I'll walk you home anyways."

We stood, and I slipped his jacket over my arms. It was still warm. I pushed some of my hair behind my ear, and I bit my lip. This boy... He was just so charming. "So where do you live?" he asked, his hands in his pockets. "Not far, just past the intersection." I replied, and we continued walking, standing strangely close for two people who had just met. We finally reached my house, and I stepped up to my door, starting to take off his jacket. But he waved his hands. "You keep it, I'll just get it back later." "But-" I began to protest, but he cut me off with a finger to my lips. "Give me your number and we'll call it even." he said, holding out a pen. I briefly considerd the proposal. What could it hurt? I sighed, taking the pen and his hand in mine. It was so warm...

I finished writing my number, and returned his pen. He laughed again, putting a hand on my head. He was really tall for someone my age. "You take care of yourself. And next time I see you, try and wear something that fits the climate, okay?" It was my turn to laugh, and I smiled. "I'll do my best." I replied, and I unlocked my door, taking one last look at the boy before shutting my door. Or, I almost shut it. It was stopped by his hand. "What's your name?" he asked, his body halfway in my house. "...Shiuta." It kind of seemed pointless to stick with my fake name, now. And besides, he would probably never call, anyways. No harm, no foul. "Cool. I'm Kukai, by the way." he said, smiling down at me.

He stepped back from my doorway, waving as he walked down my steps. "See ya, Shiuta," he called over his shoulder. I promptly closed the door, pressing my back against it and sliding down to the floor, my face burried in Kukai's jacket. What on earth was happening to me?


	12. Seiyo Junior High

**So I know this is my third chapter in like two days. But, that's only because I'm bored, tired and my legs hurt like hell. SO ONWARD WITH CHAPTER 12! Kukai, or Ikuto? Tell me what you think- Enjoy and please review!**

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When I woke up, my house was cold. I sighed in annoyance. I had forgotten to turn on the heat before I went to bed. I gingerly touched the floor with the tips of my toes, a shiver running through my body as I made contact with the freezing floorboards. I hissed as the soles of my feet landed on the ground as well, and I could see my breath in front of me. I tip-toed over to the thermostat, turning it up to a nice and toasty seventy degrees. It was five in the morning- I would have gone back to sleep, but I was wide awake now. So I went to my kitchen, pulling out my small blue tea kettle, filling it with water and placing it on my stove. Heat radiated from it as I turned up the heat on the stove, and I briefly paused to hold my palms toward the warmth.

I sat on one of my bar stools, eating a cinnimon and sugar scone while I waited for my water to boil. I attempted to block out memories of yesterday. I laid my head down on the counter, letting out a long sigh. What I had done to Ikuto was terrible. My knife would definitely leave a scar. I attempted to reason with myself- He had led me on, and for what? I didn't know. Was it possible that he really did know who I was? That he remembered me from his past, and he wanted revenge on me for whatever it was I had said or done to him? I heard my kettle whistle, and my head shot up quickly. I poured the boiling liquid into a mug, the water seeping into the teabag.

It was a Tuesday morning. I had pretty much dropped out of school. Honestly, I didn't know why they had even insisted on sending me to school, anyways. I had all the education I needed... Okay, so maybe I was lacking in a whole lot of areas. I always told myself that I wasn't missing much. All it was was sitting, learning new things. Hanging out with new friends, school dances, sports teams, school clubs... To hell with that, I was missing everything.

That's when a thought struck me. What if I could go to a different school... As, well, me? My birthday was coming up. I would be fourteen. I know most people think "young" and "helpless" and "irresponsible" when they hear any age under eighteen. But look at me- I work for two different successful corporations. Even if I work for Easter under false pretenses. I was good at what I did. Age didn't factor into the equation.

I decided that I would attend Seiyo Junior High- It had a good reputation in the area. I spent the morning faxing papers to my employer, who's identity I was still unsure of, and made a few calls, requesting permission. I was shifting through a small stack of papers I had just been faxed when I recieved a call. The ring made me jump, nearly spilling my tea. I picked up my cell.

"Hello?"

"Shiuta," replied a warm, feminine voice through the reviever. My breath caught in my throat. It was my boss. "I've recieved your faxes. Are you sure you want to do this?" She sounded concerned. And for some reason, I felt as though I recognized her voice. I couldn't quite place it, though, so I dismissed the thought promptly.

"Yes, ma'am. You know my past. And, my fourteenth birthday is approaching. I think I'd like to give Junior High a chance. As me, not an alias." The woman on the other end was quiet for some time. I held my breath. What if she said no? Finally, she spoke.

"I guess I can't see the harm. You've gone under a false name your entire stay at our company. It shouldn't be too much of a problem if we just view your real name as an alias, as well," she reasoned, sounding thoughtful. This was all going so smoothly. "How are things going with the embryo?" she asked. Shit. Not well- I had completely forgotten about my real purpose here. I had been so caught up in my own personal life. I laughed nervously. "Uh, fine. It's a bit more difficult than I had expected, though..." I trailed off, hoping this wouldn't weigh too heavily on her decission. She sighed. "Well let us know if you need anything else. We'll fax your information over to Seiyo Junior High, and the uniform should be sent to you in due time." she concluded. "Thank you, Miss." I said, closing my eyes in relief. "Oh, and Shiuta?" "Hm?" I asked, too happy with my success to really bother to pay attention. "Happy birthday." I paused in surprise, and before I could say anything a dial tone rang in my ears.

I was bursting with excitment as I waited for my uniform to arrive. I danced around my house uncharacteristically, spinning in the middle of my living room. "Shiuta?" a surprised voice whispered, and I halted my exuberant dance and turned, spotting Akira perched on my desk. Her cold eyes were looking at me in a strange way. "What?" She made a face. "What are you doing?" she asked tartly, folding her arms. I smiled. "I'm starting school." I told her, running my fingers through my hair. She let out a bout of derisive laughter. "Yeah, sure. You've never finished so much as a semester of school. How do you expect to get through Junior High?" she taunted. "Stop bringing me down, I'm on a role." I frowned, and a knock on my door sent me back into my previous euphoria. Akira looked sour as I ran to my door, opening it to see a package labeled "Express". It had probably been delivered specially.

I bent down, picking up the package and bringing it back into my now warm home. Akira was still sitting in her little world of disapproval as I tore open the package, sliding a knife steadily down the middle piece of packaging tape. The box popped open, revealing a simple black dress, the the collar and cuffs rimmed in white. I lifted it out, unfolding it. Holding it aside, I saw black tights, black ankle socks, black knee highs and black thigh highs. Two pairs of shiny leather mary janes were nestled in wrapping paper, black laces tied in neat bows. I picked on up, turning it every which way. They had a small but thin heal, three-quarter inch at the most. Words couldn't describe how much I loved this uniform.

There were a few papers at the very bottom of the box, and it was good I hadn't thrown away the box before looking underneath the wrapping paper. It had my schedual and room numbers and teachers on it, as well as a student ID that I apparently had to keep in my school bag at all times. "Happy now?" Akira spat through her teeth, floating away. I glared as she entered my room. Well, she didn't have to come with me if she didn't want to. I hung my new uniform up on the back of my door, and I stood back, admiring it. My eyes settled on my black velvet jewelry box, and I walked over, touching the edges with my fingertips.

I gingerly opened it, letting my eyes roam over my small collection of precious earrings, rings, necklaces and bracelets. I picked enough earring to fill my six piercings, two matching small silver spherical ones, another pair that was similar, but they were black with miniscule, delicate white filigree roses on them, and a pair of tiny silver hoops for my cartilage. I also added several long, silver rings for my fingers. Their patterns were full of geometrical spaces, showing the pale white of my skin. Finally satisfied, I shut the box. I waited out the rest of my day watching TV and reading- not something I did often. It was a quiet day of relaxation, before my first real day of school. That night, I drifted off into a dreamless sleep, the haunting images of my past giving me a brief period of peace.

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The following morning was warmer than usual, and I raced through my house, attempting to get everything together before I had to leave. Akira sat moodily above my stove as I warmed a chocolate croissant in my toaster oven. I came through the living room, toothbrush in my mouth, searching for my shoes. I had a sneaking suspicion that Akira had taken matters into her own hands and decided to hide them. She was so stubborn. I finally found them hanging from the fan in the bathroom, and I rinsed my mouth out with a glass of water, tying my shoes. I had chosen to wear my thigh highs, since it wasn't too chilly but still too cold for knee highs... And I didn't like the knee highs anyways.

I grabbed my black leather bag, stuffing notebooks and my schedual into the front pocket. I picked up my grey pencil case, putting that along with my cell phone and iPod into the side pocket, my student ID already in the clear casing on the back of my bag, clearly visible for teachers to see. I ran a brush through my hair several times before leaving, and quickly put on the jewelry I had picked out the following day. I sighed, glancing at the clock. I grabbed my croissant, and headed for the door, stuffing my house key into my bag as well. I paused, my free hand on the doorknob.

"Akira? Are you coming?" she continued to glare at me, but slowly moved in my direction, slipping into my bag. I smiled. Even when she was like this, I enjoyed the company. It's not like I had any friends. I walked through the streets, the bustling of others my age running to make the bell filling my ears. Seiyo Junior High was only five blocks from my house, and I finished the last of my croissant as I entered the gates. "This is it..." I murmured more to myself than to Akira. I stepped up the large brick steps to the immense building, my heart fluttering. This would be my first day of actual public schooling since I was eight years old.

I made my way to the first classroom my schedual. The only downside to public schooling made its way into my mind as I neared the door. Soon, I would be a known singer- Either people would ignore me, or I would never have a moments peace. I sighed, my hand sliding down the door as I heard the tardy bell ring. I slid the door open, all eyes pointed in my direction. The teacher smiled.

"Ah, this is the new student I was just telling you all about." he smiled at me, clasping his hands together. "Well, come in!" he said, motioning to me. I stepped over the threshold, my heels clicking on the tile floors. He turned back to the class as I made my way over to his desk. "Class, this is Miyuki Shiuta. She's a new transfer- Please welcome her!" he said, and I saw several people give me some awkward half smiles.

I scanned the class for my seat, and I spotted the one empty desk. "Well, Miyuki-san, you will be sitting behind Soma-kun." said the teacher, pointing to the empty desk. I nodded, making my way through the isles, trying to ignore everyone. I sighed as I made it to my chair, dropping my bag to the ground and leaning back in my seat, staring out of the window. The class hadn't quite started yet, and I heard the person in front of me shift. I looked up, seeing a surprisingly familiar face.

"Well well well." said the boy, smiling widely. "We meet again, Shiuta," he laughed, giving me a small wave. I blushed. I was going to the same school as Kukai?


	13. Soma Kukai

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Yet another chapter again today! School's getting started, so I'm trying to progress the story some before I have to really get down to business. Enjoy and review, as always! Kukai or Ikuto? THAT is the question. Some of my decision may depened on what my readers think- But in the end it might just be the pairing I love the most! THE SUSPENSE.

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The bell rang, and the class rushed out of the classroom and on to second period. Kukai lagged behind, shooing his group of loyal friends away with a casual wave. I stood slowly, still trying to assess the situation. Kukai's eyes gazed down at me, the startling green color sending a sensation through my body that I just couldn't explain. He smiled at me again. That warm, happy smile that he seemed to show so often.

"I didn't know you went here," he began, laughing quietly, still staring at me. I smiled back a little. I didn't smile very much. "I just transferred here yesterday." He nodded knowingly, his hands in his pockets. "C'mon, we should get going." he told me, picking up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. I nodded, doing the same and following him. "What's your second period?" he asked, reaching out his hand. I took out my schedual, placing the paper in his open fingers. "English with Maori," I said, pointing. "Hey, same classes!" he yelled excitedly. "I can show you around." I flushed pink, and I quickly turned away.

My situation with Kukai was new, but it already seemed to be so complicated. Whenever I was with him, I didn't think of my past at all- which was definitely a plus. Not only that, but he made me feel this happy, teenage girl feeling that I had never felt before. But on the other hand, there was Ikuto. And I didn't know what to do about that half of the situation. He was rough around the edges, which wasn't bad, but being with him was stressful at times. He gave me this feeling of maturity, and when he touched me I felt special... But I also got that feeling with Kukai. Did I? Or was it only Kukai, maybe? Now I was getting all of my feelings in a big ball of confusion. Perfect.

"You don't talk much, do you?" Kukai teased, poking my shoulder.

"I do," I replied, looking straight ahead. "Just maybe not to you." He frowned.

"Well, things would be more interesting if you would just talk to me."

"Why?"

"Because I said so,"

"Oh, how logical." I retorted, smiling smugly up at him.

"It is what it is, Shiuta." he laughed, putting his arm around my shoulder. If this had been Ikuto, I would have shyed away, or flinched. I felt so comfortable around Kukai. So normal...

"It only makes sense to you." I replied, shutting my eyes in exasperation.

"Can't help it if I'm just on a higher level of understanding." he laughed. His arm was still around my shoulders when we entered Maori-sensei's room. But I wasn't embarrassed. I felt totally in control. I continued speaking to him, playfully arguing, until I felt maybe half a dozen evil glares at my back.

"Uhm... Kukai?" I asked quietly as we sat down at the one empty table. "What?" he asked, though he sounded like he already knew what this was about. "You don't... Have fangirls, do you?" I whispered back. The stares increased tenfold. He coughed awkwardly. "Define 'Fangirl'..." I pursed my lips. "Somhow, I feel like that's not neccessary."

Maori-sensei entered the room, but the glares didn't stop. He sighed. "My my, what a tense atmosphere!" he called into the class, and a few of the students twittered with awkward laughter. He instructed the class to take out their books, and I was about to raise my hand to ask for one when Kukai put his hand on mine. "It's cool. Just read on with me until after class. I feel like you shouldn't draw too much attention to yourself right now." I laughed nervously, but lowered my hand. His fingers lingered on mine for a few minutes, until he realized that I was staring at our hands. He laughed, "Haha, sorry, Shiuta. My bad," he said, quickly withdrawing his fingers, leaving mine cold. "It's fine." I replied reassuringly, half hoping he would place his fingers back on mine. He just stared at his book.

"Ah, Miyuki Shiuta-san. Why don't you read the next passage?" Maori-sensei's voice seemed to break the ice, and I looked up. Had we been reading. "Ah, of course..." I said, and Kukai whispered "Passage five..." into my ear. How had he been keeping track? I cleared my throat, the english words not at all unfamiliar to me.

_"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,_  
_Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;_  
_But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,_  
_And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'_  
_This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'_  
_Merely this and nothing more."_

I spoke the words confidently, and Maori-sensei nodded in approval. "Very good, Miyuki-san." he said, and moved on. I sat down, and Kukai was once again staring at me. Another thing about Kukai was that, although I'm sure he was capable of it, he didn't stare at my cleavage or my ass all the time, like Ikuto did. And if he did, he definitely didn't make it obvious. He was a gentelman. "Where'd you learn to speak English like that?" he asked me, his green eyes meeting my hazel ones. I smiled. "I was in a Foster home for a while. They read us english poetry a whole lot, it's not too hard. I'm better at 'Old English' than I am at the current dialect." I explained. His face turned apologetic. "I'm sorry..." he said, turning away from me, slightly embarrassed. I touched his arm lightly. "It's not a big deal, Kukai," I told him, looking him in the eyes. "Okay? Not a big deal." He smiled.

After an hour and a half of english, we made our way to the cafeteria. I looked at him nervously. Maybe he'd want me to sit somewhere else? That wouldn't be too surprising. He looked down at me. "Come on. You're sitting with me, right?" he asked, jabbing a thumb into his chest. I smiled. "Yeah, I guess,"

"You guess?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"As if you had a choice." he teased, dragging me over to a table... Full of boys. Great. They all looked up, and did some cat-calls and whistling. "Go Kukai!" "You go, girl," said a dark haired boy sarcastically, high fiving Kukai. Kukai sat down, pulling me with him. "Not bad, Kukai, way to bag the new girl." said a blond, his dark eyes looking me up and down. This was _so _awkward. Kukai laughed. "Hey, man, it's not like that. This is Shiuta- We're _friends." _he sounded out slowly, and all eyes were on us. Some were exchanging doubtful glances. "Now, all together now, let's spell 'friends'-" One of the boys cut him off by slapping him on the back. "Dude. Just shut up and eat your damn lunch." "Yeah, you know none of us can spell for shit anyways." I laughed quietly. How rediculous.

"Shiuta, you don't know any of these guys, do you?" Kukai asked, pointing at the six other guys at the table. I shook my head. "Okay, that's Haru-" he pointed to the dark-haired boy who had yelled "you go girl" earlier. He had electric blue eyes that seemed to boar into mine. "Kei, Nori and Kyou," he continued, pointing at the blond with dark eyes, a brown haired boy with tan skin and a bored looking ginger with pale skin. "And then Yoshiro and Taro." he pointed at two identical boys with dark skin and black hair. "Nice to meet you all." I said, giving a small wave. "I'm Shiuta." Even my name felt more comfortable when I was around Kukai.

"So, Shiuta, do you play?" asked Haru as I took out a can of peach tea. "What?" I replied, popping open the can and taking a sip. "Do you play? Like sports?" I finished swallowing my tea. "Oh! Yeah, a little." Despite my appearance, I did like to play sports. Even though I wasn't good at too many of them, I loved competitive running and soccer. I hadn't done either in a long time, though. I had done a little in elementary school, and I did a lot of physical activities in my Foster home. "Really? You don't look the type," observed Kyou, giving me another bored glance. I laughed. "I get that a lot." Kukai was regarding me closely, and he opened his mouth to speak. "What do you play?" I looked up at him. "I like competitive running and soccer. Everything else I just suck at." Kukai immediately perked up. "Hey, I'm the captain of the soccer team here- You should try out." "It's co-ed?" I asked critically. "Uh, yeah. If a girl's good enough to get on the team, why should she be seperated?" "That and they look hot in those short soccer shorts," interjected Haru. I made a face. "How mature." He laughed. "I like feisty girls," "Hey, back off," Kukai said, putting an elbow on the table between Haru and I. "Oooh, defensive," Taro spoke up through a mouthful of fries. They all laughed, and Kukai made a face. _Boys.__

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The school day finally ended around 4:45, and Kukai and I exited our final class together. He led me outside, and I stared blankly. "What the hell are we doing here?" He had led me to the soccer field. He laughed at me, taking a soccer ball out of his gym bag. "Playing soccer." I made a faced and folded my arms.

"Do I look like I'm dressed for soccer?"

"Go change into your gym clothes, then."

"The doors are locked," I countered, which silenced him for a few moments. He turned his head slightly away from me, his eyes eyeing the soccer ball in his hands. "Man, Shiuta, I guess I was wrong about you. I thought you were a different kind of girl. But I guess they're all the same- Too afraid to go up against a guy, making excuses..." he trailed off, his eyes traveling back to me. I was seething. "Hey!" I barked. "I'll change right here if I have to! I am not backing down!" he snickered. "Go crazy," I paused. What did I just do? I pouted. "F-fine. Whatever. Just turn around." He put up his hands in defeat. "Fine, fine," he turned around, and I dug into my gym bag, taking out my shorts and shoes.

I slipped my shorts on, taking off my thigh highs and mary janes. Then fast as lightening, I pulled my dress over my head and slipped on my shirt, carefully placing my uniform back in my bag. I put on my shoes and socks, tying the laces. "Fine, I'm done." I huffed, putting my hands on my hips. Kukai turned around. He paused for a minute, then burst out laughing. "You were naked in the middle of the school!" he yelled, pointing at me. I picked up the soccer ball he had dropped, and aimed it straight at his face, sending him hurtling backwards. "KUKAI SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He hissed, gingerly touching his face. "Nice... throw?" I stiffened. "Kukai... I am so so so so sorry..." I started to walk over, but he pushed himself up on his own. "You went through all this trouble- Let's play the game."

We played for maybe half an hour, and I managed to get around him three times with a simple crescent moon move, scoring twice. The third time he managed to stop me. Although it irked me, he was a lot better than I was, and he got around me maybe five times, and I just barely stopped his fifth goal, sliding on the grass to intercept the ball. I was rusty.

"Good game, Shiuta!" he said, patting me on the back as he walked me home. I scoffed. "Yeah, right, you beat me by two." He put me in a headlock. "Well, what did you expect? I'm the best!" he yelled as I squirmed in his grip, trying to break free. We were in the middle of the park, I was in my gym clothes, I had grass stains on my shirt and dirt covered my left leg. People were staring. Goody.

"Kukai, cut it out." I said in a muffled voice, my cheek pressed up against his chest.

"Say please,"

"No way."

"Just do it."

"No."

"Say. It."

"... Fine. _Please._" He laughed, releasing me. "You're always so polite, Shiuta." he laughed, and we walked by a cart on the side of the walkway selling lemonade. "Hey, you want some?" he asked me, pointing to the stand. I shrugged. "Sure," I replied, trying to be nonchalant. He bought to, and handed me mine. I could hear the crushed ice against the stryofoam, and I took a sip. It was so refreshing. We sat on a bench to drink, and his other hand was spread out on the back of the bench behind my head.

"So, how do you like Seiyo?" he asked, looking down at me. "It's alright." I replied, taking a sip of my drink. "Your friends are awfully loud." I replied. He laughed. "So are you, when you want to be." I frowned. "Am not," "Are, too," We were face to face now, his nose nearly touching mine. "Shiuta..." he said quietly, and he brought his hand up to run it through my fiery strands of hair, twisting them between his fingers. A chill of pleasure ran through my hair and down my spine, and I shivered. We were so close...

Someone nearby sneezed, and we both jumped. "Uh.." "Uhm..." We both turned away awkwardly, and we sat in silence for another several minutes. "Thanks... Uh, you know, for the drink.." I said nervously, throwing our trash away. "Yeah, no problem," he laughed, and it sounded a little off. "I can walk myself home." I said, smiling. "You sure?" "Yeah." We paused, looking at each other for a minute. "See ya," he said abruptly, turning around. "Yeah... See ya..." I felt a warm feeling at the pit of my stomach, and I touched my cool hand to my cheek, trying to cool myself down.

Soma Kukai... What was this feeling?


	14. The Beautiful Life

**Probably my last chapter for today- I was on a roll. As always, enjoy and review. I'm open for your thoughts on Ikuto/Shiuta/Kukai. Let's just see what you all think! Song is 'Life Was Beautiful' once again by The Green Children.**

* * *

A week in school, and I still didn't regret my decision. I was happy, becuase Kukai seemed to be trying his best not to be awkward about what had happened in the park. But there were a few times, only on certain days, that he would go quiet and avoid eye contact for sometimes a whole class period. I didn't mind so much, though. We still played soccer together. He still beat me. We still ate lunch together, and his friends seemed not to mind me. In their eyes, I was somewhat like Kukai's trophy of sorts, which Kukai was finding increasingly more annoying as the days went on. I had a feeling the next one to mention him "bagging the new girl" would probably end up with a bloody nose.

It was mid morning on Saturday, and I had a recodring appointment with Sanjo-san for my new CD release. We had gotten together on Thursday and put together the music- I had written the lyrics Wednesday night. I slipped on a pair of jeans and some felted boots, carefully sliding into a long-sleeve white shirt with an open back. I put on my black peacoat, and exited my home, which I had been spending less and less time in ever since I had met Kukai.

I got a taxi to Easter, and arrived there shortly after ten. I stepped into the warm and inviting building. I'm not going to lie, I was nervous. If I ran into Ikuto, it could cause problems. Hoshina Utau was sitting in the conferance room, talking to one of our representatives. I made my way up to the second floor recording studion. But I ran into slight complications in the stair well. 'Slight Complications' being code for Ikuto. He was wearing a plain white wife beater, and skinny jeans. I could see a bandage wrapped around his shoulder. He was hauling boxes out of a supply closet and onto a rolling platform just outside of the elevator to the basement. I took a deep breath, and sprinted up the stairs. "Hey, Shi-" I slammed the door behind me, breathing heavily. That was too close. My heart was beating fast. But not the way it did around Kukai. This was a strung out, ragged sort of beating. I hung my head. What the hell was wrong with me?

I opened the door to the studio, looking around. "Sanjo-san?" I asked. No one seemed to be here. I shrugged. I wanted to get on with it. I was hanging out with Kukai later, and I didn't want to be late. I pressed a few buttons, shifting the dials clockwise and turning up the volume. I walked into the recording area, putting my headphones on. I flipped the switch on the recording device as a slow, innocent tune began to play in my ears.

_"Cant say much for politics,_  
_Religious fears and historic._  
_And with all the books I've read,_  
_Its still as confusing in my head..." Ikuto flashed through my mind. His smirk and his stupid teasing. He was about to say something, when he was replaced by Kukai. His ruffled brown hair catching the bright white light surrounding him. He held out his hand and smiled._

I could feel someone watching me, but I didn't want to open my eyes.

_"I dont even know where we stand,_  
_Where we're going to go or how all ends." Kukai's smile replayed over and over in my mind, and I shut my eyes tighter. Wasn't Ikuto the one I loved? Was he... Even the one I was thinking about when I wrote these lyrics?_

_"I dont really know that much at all..._  
_But I can tell you this, when I felt your kiss,_

_Life was beautiful..._  
_Life was beautiful to me." I smiled softly, touching my hair, imagining that my fingers were Kukai's, and as he stroked my hair his lips touched mine and everything felt right._

_"I dont know how I could love you yet._  
_When I shyly know that we've just met." I remembered Kukai's jacket draped casually over my shoulders as he sat beside me. As he smiled at me. His fingers on mine._

_"There's so much I could say._  
_But I fear I would push you away._  
_But I tell you this, when I felt your kiss,_

_Life was beautiful..._  
_Life was beautiful to me._  
_Life was beautiful..._  
_Life was beautiful to me..." Kukai turned around in his desk, smiling at me on my first day. Holding my hand, dragging me down the hallways of our school, his warm hand on mine._

_"When I'__m covered in darkness,_  
_And find it hard to breath._  
_I know I'll find comfort_  
_In this my memory." I felt his hand in mine as I wrote my number on his open palm. I felt him shake with laughter as he held me in a head lock, as he laughed about my changing in the middle of the school. I smiled at the memory._

_"Cause life was beautiful._  
_Life was beautiful to me..._  
_Life was beautiful to me..._  
_Life..." Ikuto's furious face glaring up at me, choking me, changed into Kukai's smiling face as he raised me up in the air when we beat Haru and Kyou in soccer. I felt a faint blush cover my cheeks._

_"Life was beautiful to me..." Had all of those feelings I'd felt for Ikuto... Just been nothing? Hormones? Or maybe I had been imagining?_  
_"Life was beautiful to me..." Kukai's face was inches from mine, his fingers in my hair, his lips barely centimeters away. So which one was it?_  
_"Life was beautiful..."_

I opened my eyes, and I saw Sanjo-san, her head nodding in approval, Ikuto standing stoicly by her side, glaring at me. Sanjo-san clapped. "Excellent work, Chiharu," she congradulated me, hitting a few buttons. "Well, these will be going on your first CD." she informed me, smiling. I reached up to feel the silk chiffon rose in my hair... But felt nothing. Akira wasn't here. She was still at home. All those feelings I had put into the song... Were mine. All mine. I smiled, running my fingers through my hair. It was all me.


	15. Trial and Error

Next chapter! So I'm hearing a lot of Kukai... And a lot of Ikuto supporters. What to do, what to do? Kukai? Ikuto? Tell me what you think- Enjoy and review!

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"Hey, it's Shiuta!" yelled a voice behind me. It was Tuesday afternoon of my second week in school. I felt Haru's arms snake around my shoulder and I frowned. "What the hell, Haru?" he laughed, snickering as Kukai came into view, flanked by Taro. They were being tailed by a petite blonde girl, who was accompanied by a strangely large group of younger kids- All roughly around the age of twelve or thirteen. There was a tall... girl?... With long purple hair, and a feminine-looking blond boy, along with a green-haired boy who looked like he had an enormous stick shoved straight up his ass. There was also a giggly girl with auburn hair. Comprehension suddenly dawned on me when the last kid came into view. It was Amu.

I batted Haru's arm off of my shoulders as Kukai turned in our direction, spotting us through the people filling the courtyard. He waved, a wide smile breaking over his face. My heart skipped a beat, before it completely froze in fear. They were going to turn him against me. Haru snickered again. "Have fun, Shiuta," he laughed, signaling for Taro to following him. "That's a rowdy bunch of Elementary School punks Kukai's got, there..." He and Taro disappeared through the crowd, and I was left alone facing Kukai and the six other kids. I gulped.

_Fuck._

"Shiuta, what's up?" Kukai laughed, giving me a small hug, sending a totally new bout of shivers up my spine that were completely unrelated to my current predicament. There was silence from the group behind him. "Uh... Kukai?" said the blond boy, and he looked genuinely concerned. He turned around, not noticing the hint of anger in the boy's voice. "Yeah?" he asked, his arm around me and his cheek against hy hair. "Do you know her?" Amu asked, raising an eyebrow. Oh, look at her cool and spicy self. "Nah, Amu, I'm just in to hugging random chicks that happen to be standing in my line of vision." he replied, making a scathing noise and rolling his eyes. "Well... Then, you know who she is, then, right?" The purple haired... person... Asked. Kukai sighed. "Yeah, yeah. Yes. I do. God, you guys, stop going in circles." They all exchanged glances. I braced myself. The boy with green hair pushed his glasses farther up his face. "She's an employee of Easter- According to my data, she should be releasing a new CD this week, which will accompany Hoshina Utau's new Single release."

Kukai froze, his thumb pausing from lightly carressing my cheek. My face went cold, and I felt like I might cry. "What?" he asked, making a disbelieving face. "Yeah," Amu spoke up, looking confident. I wanted to kick that bitch's ass so badly. Her cheeks were tinted pink under Kukai's gaze. What the hell? She reacted the same way with the blond boy, and Ikuto, and now Kukai, too? What. The. Fuck.

Kukai looked down at me, his green eyes locking with mine. I bit my lip, and folded my arms tightly across my chest, turning my head away in shame. I could feel tears stinging my eyes. I felt a cold chill radiate through my body- This was worse than Ikuto turning on me. So much worse. Was this Amu determined to take away everything I had? "Shiuta..." Kukai choked out, still staring at me. I couldn't look at him. "Is this true?" A sob racked through my chest, and I looked back up, a tear sliding down my cheek. I touched a finger to my face. How long had it been since I cried. "Shiuta, answer me," he said. I wished he would get mad at me. Yell at me. Beat me. Anything but this cold resignation that plagued his happy voice.

"Yes," I choked out, another tear sliding down my face. The person with purple hair looked sympathetic, and he looked over at the girl with auburn hair, who also looked worried. Amu and the blond boy just had their arms folded, as if in triumph, glaring straight at me. The blond girl was expressionless, but her eyes were turned away. His hand grazed my face as he moved away from me, his warmth almost stinging my freezing skin. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, his hands in his pockets. I gasped for air, dropping the books I had in my hands. "K-Kukai. I-I swear, I was going to tell you! I j-just, just didn't know how!" I attempted to reason with him, I was so desperate. "Please believe me!" I felt a tear hit my neck. He sighed, looking down. "I'll see you tomorrow, Shiuta."

I froze, my hand still pressed against the air where he had once stood. My lungs felt like they were clenching shut. My throat hurt, and my head throbbed. "Kukai..." Amu and the blond boy brushed by me, but the purple haired person looked at me in pity, followed by the other three. The auburn girl gave me a sad, apologetic look, nervously playing with her hair. And I was left alone, surrounded by strangers, in the middle of the courtyard.

* * *

I slammed my door shut, sliding down to the ground, burrying my damp face in my hands. I sobbed, my body shaking and convulsing. Akira was no where to be seen. Never before had I realized just how alone I was in this world. I lifted my head out of my hands, and screamed as loud as I could, my cries breaking through the silence of the house, and I felt that my life was shattering like broken glass. This past week had been so blissfully wonderful. I felt like the stitches Kukai had repaired my heart with were quickly unraveling, leaving my wounds open and bleeding yet again.

_"You're doing it, again," a shaking voice whispered, and I looked up from the flaming lighter and joint, spotting my little sister standing above me. I went back to ignoring her, sparking it up again, inhaling and blowing out a long puff of smoke. "You need to stop," she said, staring at me. I growled. "Maybe you should stop fucking our dad," I spat, picking up a glass with a small pool of strong-smelling amber liquid in the bottom and gulping it down. She stiffened. "That's not fair at all Shi-chan," she hissed, clenching her fists. "You have no idea what he does to me." "And you think I give a shit?"_

_I smashed the glass against the wall, letting the shards cut the tips of my fingers. "You should," she countered quietly, her hands going limp as she turned away. "I was counting on you to get us out of here, Shi-chan," I laughed derisively. "Sorry I can't live up to your expectations- It wouldn't be the first time." "SHIU-"_

My eyes snapped open. They felt swollen, and I looked at the clock, realizing that I had only half an hour to get ready for school. School would be hell with out Kukai. I walked over to my kitchen, and looked at the notes between Kukai and I had displayed on my fridge. One read "Soccer tryouts are on Wednesday. You should come. :)" I touched the paper, letting my fingers carress the clumsily scrawled kanji. I leaned my forehead against the cool metal of the doors, sighing audibly. I wasn't going to give up.

I took a quick shower, and placed my brand new soccer equipment in a gym bag after changing into my uniform again. I put my hair up in a pony tail, dashing out of the house. I hadn't seen Akira in a while, but I could care less, and I pushed the thought out of my mind. First period was the equivelent of living hell. Kukai didn't talk to me, and he didn't look at me once. We sat in our same seats, inches from each other, yet he said nothing. I decided to skip lunch after a hellish second period, Kukai having spoke with one of his many fangirls for the first time since I came into the picture. Not flirting... Just talking... An act that now seemed to be taboo with me.

Although I was sure he hadn't said anything to his friends, I couldn't exactly intrude now that we weren't even on speaking terms. I sat on the roof, my feet dangling off of the edge. Part of me faintly wondered what would happen if I jumped- But the rest of me told that part that that was the stupidist thing it had ever heard. And I knew that it was right. I had survived on my own my whole life... Something I was once used to. But after a short week with Kukai, I knew what it was like to have someone be close to you. And I liked it. I missed it.

I tried to catch his attention in fourth period- All things considered, it shouldn't have been too hard, he was like a foot away from me. But, no. His eyes were off in space. The last bell of the day rang, and I bolted for the locker rooms, changing into my gym clothes. There were only three other girls there with me, also changing into soccer gear. They were all giggling. "Kukai-kun won't be able to take his eyes off me," said one, rolling up her already crazy short shorts even more. "Oh, you're bad," said another, and then they all turned to glare at me. "I suppose you're hear to make a move on Kukai-kun, as well?" one hissed, folding her arms as I put on my cleats. I shook my head. I was here to get on the team... And if the situation hadn't been what it was, _maybe_ I would have been here to flirt, as well.

We made our way to the field, and Haru and Kyou waved at me from their spots on the field. From what Kukai told me, there were only four spots left on the team. There were four girls, and about twelve guys here to try out. The odds were more than against us.

* * *

The tryouts were two hours long, and I felt that Kukai was being especially hard on me. Whether or not it was because he was mad at me, it definitely made things much more difficult. There were a lot of dribbling drills, and scoring, along with endless push ups and sit ups before the actual practice game began, which was preceded with about three laps around the entirety of the soccer field. I was right up there with the fastest guys for that, at least.

The people trying out and the current team members were jumbled together, then split evenly. I was on the opposing team from Kukai, and he was still avoiding my gaze. I sighed, tightening my pony tail. The coach blew the whistle, signaling the start of the game, and the forwards kicked off, passing it back to the boy to my right. Kukai, who was directly opposite me, had purposefully placed me on the left, as most players were right footed. Luckily for me, that wasn't my case. I was a solid left-footer.

The ball rebounded off shins and heads and knees, and it finally made it's way over to me about twenty minutes in, the score being two to four, Kukai's team leading. I juggled the ball on my knees for a moment, gaining control and dropping it to the ground. I looked towards the goal, dribbling close to my feet as I made straight for the goalie. I was cut off by Kukai, and I realized he was shirtless. Damn him. I had a feeling he did that on purpose. I caught a hint of a smirk as he attempted to get the ball from me, and our bodies were so close. I could feel the sweat dripping from him, and I had the sudden urge to place my palms flat against his chest and just have him hold me- WHAT THE HELL. We're in a fight- I can't be thinking like that!

I dragged the ball back with the tip of my foot, turning quickly and turning it around him with the outside of my foot. I heard him mutter "Fuck," under his breath, and my hand brushed over his abs, causing my breath to hitch. This was really not what I needed right now. He blocked me once again on my right, and I sneered, dragging back my left foot and sending a blow straight to the middle of the soccer ball, and as the whistle blew it hit the net, giving us a 3-4 loss. I sighed. Not as bad as I thought it'd be.

I felt a warm figure slide a sweaty arm around my neck, my face burrying itself in his shoulder. "Nice move," muttered Kukai, and I tentatively wrapped my arms around his waist and I shut my eyes. "Kukai... I'm so sorry..." Kukai said nothing, but just stood there with his arm around me, his face burried in my neck. I felt like I was back where I belonged.


	16. Tell Me How It Really Is

**The next chapter! All you IkutoxShiuta-lovers out there, I'm sorry to say I've been hearing more good vibes towards Kukai rather than Ikuto. And truth be told, I like Kukai a whole lot better. Not to disappoint my faithful readers that are still in support of IkuxShi, but I think I myself am starting to lean towards KukaixShiuta. BUT YOU WON'T KNOW UNTIL IT HAPPENS. So prepare yourselves. As always, enjoy and review!**

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After the tryouts, Kukai and I had had a long talk. To explain briefly, he was still pretty mad at me. He didn't like what I was doing- Not only because it was wrong, but from what I could tell between much stuttering, blushing, and ruffling of his hair, he didn't want me to get hurt. In his words, I was "too special a person" to even be involved with Easter. I was special. Special to him. That thought gave me a bubbly, glow-y, light-hearted feeling.

I was sitting on a brick ledge over looking a big lake in the middle of the city, the sun setting rapidly, and I sipped my peach iced tea. Spring had come at last, and the birds were still chirping vibrantly all around. I was still in my school uniform, and I was clutching my new Seiyo Junior High soccer uniform. Kukai had presented it to me after our talk, giving me a brief congratulations that consisted of a long hug and his fingers tangling in my hair. I could still feel the sensation of it sending shocks into my system.

Still basking in my new-found glory, I didn't realize when foot steps began to get closer. I didn't even recognize the second presence in the are until after I heard a deep voice mutter, "Shiuta," from behind me. I jumped, spilling iced tea over the ledge. I snapped my head around, nearly giving myself whiplash, and was startled to find Ikuto standing behind me, his hands in his pockets. "Ikuto?" I asked, which was stupid, since it was obviously him. He closed his eyes, and walked closer, standing directly beside me. I sighed. Everything seemed perfectly normal between us- If he hadn't been mad at me, I would have thought us to be best friends.

"What I did... What I said..." Ikuto began, not seeming to be able to find the words to apologize to me. I shook my head. "It's fine. I'm probably the one who should be apologizing, anyways. I did stab you," I sighed, setting down the can of iced tea. "Yeah, because I choked you. That's even stephen, in my book," I sighed, lowering his head to stare at the ground. "Amu told me. About, you know, you and Kukai kid," I raised an eyebrow. "What about me and Kukai?" He laughed, looking out over the lake, the glare of the tropical orange light reflecting from the surface almost blinding. "That you guys are dating," I choked on my mouthful of iced tea, and was forced to spit it out in order to save my life.

"We aren't dating, Ikuto," I told him, though I'm sure if he'd looked in my eyes, then, he would have seen just how bad I wanted that. "What? But she said-" I scoffed, flipping my hair from my eyes. "That Amu girl has a big mouth- She should stop her little vendetta against me before I have to beat her ass," "Don't say that," Ikuto defended, looking down at me seriously. I smirked up at him.

"Oh, do you _like _Amu?" I teased. He smirked back.

"Jealous?"

"Not really," and this time I said it, there was no flutter in my heart, no heating of my face, no downturn of my eyes. I was calm. Ikuto seemed taken aback by this, and looked back down at me with a slightly bemused expression, but said nothing. I don't think he believed me. There was a small part of myself, that same part that had previously wondered what would happen if I were to jump, that didn't believe me, either. I wasn't sure whether to ignore that part of me or not.

"Soccer?" Ikuto asked, pointing at my uniform. I smiled. "Yeah, I made the team. Only girl." I smiled down at the shorts and jersey. "Whoa, way to go." he snickered, holding up a palm for a high five. I smacked it, and his fingers bent over, keeping my hand against his. I shifted my eyes a small amount, and saw that he had his eyes closed, his fingers in between mine. "Ikuto?" I questioned. I smiled, the light dancing off of his face.

"Yesterday, I was thinking..." he began, taking a deep shaking breath I raised an eyebrow. What was he saying? "About when we first met." I released my breath as he released my hand. I couldn't shake the feeling that he had been trying to say something else. I laughed. "Yeah, you were outside my window. I wasn't very nice to you," He shook his head. "I meant before that," I froze.

Ikuto continued to stare at me as I said nothing, my hands shaking in my lap. "What... What are you saying? We never met before-" "Shiuta, I know." My breath caught in my throat. "You're that same girl I met when I was thirteen." He remembered? He closed his eyes again, lowering himself and sitting beside me on the ledge. It was quiet for a few minutes, until I broke the ice. "Do you... Remember anything else? About me?" I whispered, my hands grabbing fistfuls of my skirt. He nodded, folding his hands over his knees.

"I remember when you were nine, we met in the middle of the road. That was back before all the bruises were so bad," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Utau really liked you, you hung out whenever your dad was out." I hadn't ever remembered that. Did Utau know who I was, then? Or had she forgotten, just like I had? "I think she remembers that, but she doesn't know that that girl is you." I nodded. "It'd be nice... To have a friend who was a girl..." I sighed. "But, I guess that's what you're for, huh?" I snickered, and he shoved my shoulder playfully.

The heavy mood settled again, and Ikuto continued talking. "I remember we were playing in one of those streams that ran through our neighborhood, and Utau saw that huge bruise on your shoulder. You told her it was nothing, I don't think you knew how bad it was getting." I remembered that bruise. Father had crushed my right side in between the door and the door frame for a good five minutes. "I knew you had a sister. But we never saw her. She was always in your house." He had never been able to meet Akira. "Then when you were ten, you got scared of reality. Your dad always kept stuff in the house- You had easy access. And you used it. You were always drinking. Smoking. Whatever it was, you were always out of it." I turned away. So, Akira had been lying to me, after all.

"That's when Utau and I had to stop seeing you. I tried to talk sense into you, but you wouldn't listen. You told me I was weak- That I didn't know what the fuck I was talking about. That I was lucky. That I had a loving family, and friends, and a mother." I grimaced. So that's what I had said to him. Up until now, I hadn't been able to hear the voice of my memory speaking in my head, but now I could hear it clearly.

_"How could you say that to me! I'm not the one who's messed up, Ikuto! It's you! You just always want to fuck with people's heads, telling them they're living their life the wrong way. Well I'll tell you something, you stupid son of a bitch. You have no fucking idea what the hell you're talking about! You have family, friends, and a perfect, perfect life! And what do I have? NOTHING. And you're telling me to make it better? What the hell am I supposed to do, you fucker? I don't have a mom to kiss it and make it all better, like you do. I just have to play the cards I'm dealt. So fuck off. I never want to talk to you again."_

"And then there was the day you finally got out of there," I tensed. I knew already what this was about. "I had come over, to try and talk to you again, but when I got to your house you were in the middle of the road. We hadn't seen you sense you were dragged away on the road. You had this look in your eyes, and I tried to get you to follow me. But you just shook your head, and said 'I'm no good', and turned away and ran." I swallowed. I couldn't recall doing anything but glaring. _I'm no good..._

"I had to talk to Utau about it that night- She was asking about you." he sighed, staring out over the lake still. "She blamed it all on your mom." I frowned. "It wasn't her fault at all." I stated resolutely, seething at the comment. Ikuto shrugged. "I guess, but Utau figured that if your mom hadn't walked out on you all, your dad wouldn't have snapped." I almost choked on my own breath. "What?" Ikuto glanced over at me, looking upset about the tone of my voice. "Sorry for bringing it up, I didn't know you would still-" "No. What are you talking about? My mom didn't walk out on us- She died!" I yelled, standing up.

Ikuto looked up at me, raising an eyebrow. "Shiuta, what are you talking about? The whole neighborhood was talking about it- She cheated on your father. With... Mine," he finished, standing up as well. "What?" I breathed, hardly daring to believe what he was saying. "She left you father for mine, and they disappeared. I haven't seen my father since then," My breathing was ragged. Mother. My mother. Maria. The one who father had convinced me that I had killed. That beautiful woman who I had so many videos of, who's tattered picture sat beside my bed... Was... _Alive?_


	17. One Hundred Degrees

**Hmm... Still hearing a few IkutoxShiuta supporters out there. To be honest, when I started this story it was meant to be IkutoxShiuta. But after waiting so long to start updating again, I started to like Ikuto less and Kukai more- It's only my personal opinion. And to my faithful readers still in support, I won't leave you without some great IkutoxShiuta moments, but unfortunately, I think it's going to end up being a KukaixShiuta ending. Regardless of Ikuto and Shiuta's past, Ikuto brings out so many bad memories for Shiuta- Think about it. Thank you for all of your reviews, and again, for those in support of IkutoxShiuta, real sorry to be of disappointment! Also, I DO NOT OWN SHUGO CHARA... Or any stores/songs featured in this fanfiction. Enjoy and review!**

* * *

The ceiling stared back at me, my eyes fixated on a single spot on the blank white wall. My head was on my ice blue pillow, my fiery tendrils of hair fanned out over it. My brown contacts were out, and my discolored eyes barely blinked as I considered my new reality_. "You're mother... She cheated on your father. With mine_." Ikuto's words echoed in my ears over and over again, and I finally shut my eyes, my eyeballs burning. I sighed, turning it into a growl and then into a scream, and I grabbed the pillow from behind my head and threw it at my mirror.

"I HATE YOU!" I screamed, grabbing Maria's picture and throwing it to the hardwood floor. The glass broke, the shattering filling my empty house. I sat back on my bed, burying my face in my hands. My mind was scrambling. My heart was pounding. My head was throbbing. My eyes were burning. Stupid mother. Stupid father. Why had father told me she died? Why had mother left? Wherever she was, I hoped she was miserable, abused, beaten. I hoped she was punished for the hell she had caused Akira and I. I hoped she never had a peaceful moment. I hoped she was raped, tormented, tortured, over and over again, just as Akira had been. I hoped she was ugly, I hoped she was friendless, lifeless. I layed back down calmly onto my bed, a shut my eyes tight.

I awoke on Saturday morning, the spring sunshine streaming through the window, my thin curtains filtering the light into spots on my comforter. I groaned, shifting my position in my bed as I lifted myself off the mattress. I got dressed, putting on a simple green shirt and skinny jeans. I left the house, Akira at my side as I walked down the sidewalk. Walking was therputic for me. I regretted wearing jeans- It was so hot outside. I had decided to go shopping. I was lacking in after school clothes, and I needed to forget about Maria.

After an hour of shopping, I exited my first store with three full bags of clothes. And still I didn't feel any better. I trudged through the crowded walkways, my bags hitting up against random passers-by. I spotted an Anthropologie up ahead- one of my favorite stores- and decided to shove Maria out of my mind once again and go back to mindlessly spending my corporation's cash.

I stood in the full length mirror of the changing rooms, a strapless black dress clung to my curves, my red hair running over my chest and standing out against the midnight fabric. Miyuki Shiuta. What was her life? Who was she? I sure as hell didn't know. Up until now, my past had been so crystal clear to me. I knew exactly what had happened. No doubts. No lies. I remembered Tsukiyomi Aruto. I remembered the whole Tsukiyomi family. They had lived five blocks down from me. I had always envied Tsukiyomi Utau's long, blond hair, and her brother was always nice to me. Tsukiyomi Souko was a beautiful woman- She looked so much like my mother. Aruto and Souko were the perfect couple. When I was younger, I had always wanted to be like them in my relationships. When they looked at each other, I could see that they loved each other.

How naive I had been.

I removed the dress, my pale body reflected in the long mirror. My black lace undergarments somehow looked to mature for me, being only fourteen. I ran my fingers through my long hair, and I closed my eyes.

_"Mama?"_

_"What is it dear?"_

_"Why do you look so sad?" I asked as she combed through my hair with a silver comb, my hair silky and knot free. My mother smiled. "I'm not sad, sweetheart." _

_"Yes you are. Your eyes aren't the ones lying to me." I whispered, and she stopped combing. "I promise you, Shiuta, I'm fine," I sighed. "Mama, do you still love papa?" and I heard her breath stop. "What makes you ask?" I smiled softly. _

_"You don't look at him much anymore," _

_"You're awfully insightful." she sighed, setting down her comb. I shrugged. "And I've seen you with Tsukiyomi-san..." She paused, and then nervously laughed. "Aruto-san and I are merely friends. There's nothing for you to worry about, dear," I nodded, feeling reassured._

I remembered when she didn't come home from work a few weeks later, and father said she had gone into cardiac arrest after suffering a stroke. She was in the hospital, and he wouldn't let Akira and I visit her. We made her cards and picked her flowers, and he always assured us that he would give them to her the next time he visited. A month later, he informed us mother had passed away, and that she had been cremated. He let Akira and I keep the urn in our room. I guess what I thought had been mother was just everyday ashes from our fire place.

I returned home at four thirty, which left me just enough time to get changed before soccer practice. On Saturdays, we practiced at the field in the park, and Sundays were the only day we went without practice. I ran to the park, already sweating by the time I got there. There was a sea of shirtless boys flooding the park field when I arrived, and Kukai stuck his hand up from the middle of the pack.

"Shiuta! You're late!" he yelled, pushing his way through the rest of the team. I shrugged, peeling my shirt from my sweaty body and over my head, reavealing my olive green sports bra. This simple act of spontaneousness and heat exhaustion caused Kukai to fumble the soccer ball he was dribbling over to me, tripping over it and landing flat on his face. The team howled with laughter, pointing and patting Kukai on the back as he struggled upright. I laughed, tossing my shirt aside and putting my long hair up in a pony tail and jogging up to Kukai.

"Smooth moves," I teased, punching his shoulder playfully. He rubbed the back of his necki in embarrassment. "Yeah, yeah," he muttered, turning around. After running three laps around the entire field, we were all dripping with sweat, which in retrospect I should have already expected to happen. But looking around me to see a hoard of sweaty, very attractive boys (including Haru and Kyou), I really couln't control the pink tint that made its way to my already flushed face.

Our team was once again split in half, our trial game lasting a total of thrity minutes. It was the most nerve wracking thing I've ever had to do. Kukai's soft, caramel curls were sticking to his face, and sweat dripped from his abs. He stood behind me as I turned to take the ball to his team's goal. I swear, if we'd been closer we would have been grinding. A new bout of cat calls and wolf whistles erupted from the team.

"GET IT!" Haru laughed, fist pumping.

"LIKE A CHAMP!" yelled Kyou slightly uncharacteristically. It was only ever on the soccer field that he wasn't bored and stoic. I blushed, shooting the ball around his feet and towards the goal, just barely making it. I smiled up at Kukai, who was centimeters from me. I could feel the heat radiating off of him- It must have been one hundred degrees outside. I felt as his sweat dripped on to my body and ran down my stomache, and a shiver ran up my spine.

"Damn, Kukai, get some," yelled the blond haired boy who's name I think was Hiashi. I stepped back, wanting to avoid any more taunting. Kukai laughed. "Nice goal," and I nodded, smiling back.

After practice, we were all practically dying of heat exhaustion. Kukai gave us a brief run down of our up coming game which, thankfully, wasn't on the same day as my approaching concert. I didn't bother putting my shirt back on, I looked as if I'd gone swimming. My hair was swaying and tickling my back from my pony tail as Kukai walked me home, earning him some approving nods from our teammates.

We had reached the middle of the park, the heavy oaks sheilding our skin from the sun. Kukai ran his hand through his soaking hair, his green eyes looking skyward. "Damn, it's hot out," he observed in a mild tone. I laughed. "Very observant." He smirked at me, pouring some water on his face. "No need to get sassy, Shiuta," I laughed again, looking away. "You're acting weird today," he said quietly, his green eyes piercing mine. I shrugged. "It's nothing." He was quiet for another couple minutes, before he spoke again.

"That guy with the blue hair..." he muttered, avoiding eye contact. I looked straight up at him, unsure of where this was going. "What... Are you guys?" I raised a questioning eyebrow. "Uh, I don't really... Get what you're asking?" He sighed again. "Like, are you guys dating, or whatever." he said quickly, not seeming to want to elaborate. I laughed loudly, which seemed to upset his ego. "Don't laugh! I-I was just... Never mind..." he pouted, putting his hands in his pockets. I put my palm to my cheek, wiping away some sweat. "Kukai, Ikuto and I aren't a couple." His bright green eyes fired up immediately, staring down at me again. "We're just old friends, who work together." I explained, elbowing him in the ribs.

"Then, you won't mind if I do this-" Kukai dropped his bags, grabbing my shoulders. "K-Kukai, what-" I began, but I was cut off by a pair of lips on mine. I felt tree bark dig in to the flesh of my back, and a warm, bubbly feeling erupted in the pit of my stomache. I couldn't breath. My world was spinning. My body was pressed firmly against his. Did I mention it was like one hundred degrees outside? I felt his tongue on my lips, and as I felt one of his hands graze over my chest I gasped, allowing him entrance. My breathing was heavy and ragged as he ran his fingers through my fiery locks, taking out the hair tie the held it up.

"Kukai..." I whispered as I felt his hair tickle my forehead. He pulled away, his breathing heavy and sweat dripping from his face. I stared into his bright green eyes for what seemed like forever. "Shiuta," Kukai murmered as he brushed my hair away from my face. I opened my mouth to say something, when a hoard of voices interrupted me. "Hey, Kukai! You left a ton of shit at the field!" I could hear them getting closer, and Kukai and I pushed away. I watched as he went to retrieve his things, and I watched his toned form as he spoke with the other boys. I let out a sigh, touching my lips.

_Mother... What's happening to me?_


	18. She Gave Me Doe Eyes

**Next chapter! Kukai? Ikuto? Guess what- She might not like Kukai as much as she thinks she does. Or does she? Or doesn't she? Hmm. Please enjoy and REVIEW. I'm taking time from school work to write, so I really would appreciate some feedback. Enjoy!**

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I've always thought of this life as a curse. We wander through nearly endless days, nights, and hours. For a few choice people, this slow progression of time proves to be rewarding. But what about those of us who are nothing but mediocre? I've always thought of myself as one of those people. As a child, I hadn't been someone particularly witty or interesting. Nor was I whimsical, unbelievable, impossible to take your eyes off of. The name Shiuta had once been an object of pride for me. I loved knowing such a cynical name had been given to a girl such as me- Insightful, passive and independent. It wasn't until after the guilt of my mother's "death" had sunk through my icy skin that I began to resent it, and I began to resent myself.

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I sat with my back as straight as I could make it, my hands on my knees and my legs crisscrossed on a floor mat. The sun was casting a blood red glow across my street, and it burned through my eyelids as I breathed in and out heavily. I had been sitting in this position for hours. And hours. I could feel Akira's nervousness grow as I continued to prolong my period of silence. I had been in this position since after soccer practice that afternoon. To be more precise, I had rushed home after Kukai kissed me, and then got into this position and said nothing for the next several hours.

It's not like I hadn't enjoyed it. It would be complete bull shit to say that I didn't find Kukai attractive, or that I hadn't ever imagined a hot make out session between he and I before. I'm not a liar. But it would also be complete bull shit to say that Kukai was a good guy. Sure, he was nice to me. He made me feel happy, and he would always talk to me. But I was acutely aware of the side of Kukai that he never showed me- The side of him that I heard him talking about with his friends often. The side that went to parties, got drunk and used girls. The part that could even get violent.

I didn't have a problem with Kukai drinking. I drank. I didn't give a shit about that. No. I was concerned with that part that I was very sure that, one day, would turn on me. And that part of Kukai scared me. During my hours of meditation, I had been trying to rid my nervous system of that tingling feeling of fear- Because that side of me, also knew what side of Kukai it was that had kissed me today.

I couldn't get to sleep that night, and my mind was cloudy the next morning. I've always hated Sundays- Something about the way they make me feel. I slipped on a simple black dress and stepped outside, and I decided that I would just walk around the back roads. This town was only twenty five minutes away from my old neighborhood, but I hadn't yet worked up the courage to visit my home.

I walked aimlessly by countless ivy-covered brick walls, cracked sidewalks and chain link fences. It was at one of these that I stopped, a group of boys were playing basket ball. At the opposite end of the court, there was a shirt stretch of field, meeting with the salt water. I had never really realized how close this town was to the ocean. I inhaled deeply, smelling the salty air. Memories of my days of living in the corporation building rushed into my mind with that familiar smell. I remembered the bog, glass building over looking the Atlantic.

The ALTO Corps. building was twelve stories tall, and sat on the New England coast. I remembered I would stand on the balcony of my room, overlooking the ocean, and I would stare out over the open water, trying to see all the way across. Needless to say, I couldn't see the faintest sign of land on the other side. I missed Japan.

_"Miyuki-san?" The familiar Spanish voice of my maid hit my ears, and I turned around from my place on my balcony. "I've told you many times not to sit up there, Miss," she said, motioning for me to stop sitting on the railings. It was indeed a long ways down to the ground floor. "Hai," I replied, hopping down. "You know Madame has asked me many times to tell you not to speak Japanese," she said in scolding manner. I shrugged my shoulders. "I have not ever met 'Madame'," She frowned, noticing the wooden contraption I held in my arms. "What do we have here?" she asked, holding out her tanned arm. I handed it to her, placing the crudely made box carefully in her palm._

_"What is it?" _

_"I got directions how to make one on the computer," _

_"But what's it called?" _

_"I do not know how to say it," I replied, brushing my hair behind my ears. The woman observed the box, noting the tiny hole in the front. She peered through it. _

_"What's inside?"_

_ "A mirror," I told her, folding my arms. She raised an eyebrow. "Where did you get a mirror this size?" "I broke mine." I replied resolutely, nodding in the direction where my mirror lay shattered on the ground. The woman gasped, setting down my box and running over to the shards of glass. "Miss! Madame will not be pleased- How could you break such an expensive mirror?" She was horrified. I shrugged again, walking back outside to the balcony. "I needed to make that thing."_

_I continued to inhale the salty air as the sun set in the water, casting shadows in my room as the maid cleaned up the broken glass. The box was obscured by shadow, and I shut my eyes, thinking of home._

I later learned the words for that tiny box I had made. A Camera Obscura- A sort of camera-projector of sorts. It uses light and reflects it, copying the image upside down. Somewhere in the ALTO building that Camera Obscura was still hidden, they had taken it from me as punishment for breaking ALTO Corps. property.

After another several minutes of walking, I had made it to a large walkway. There were brick steps leading up to a large building- Probably a school. I saw three figures standing by a bench, and I recognized Utau immediately. She had Il's bat wings, and a large crowd of X Eggs surrounded her. I then noticed Amu, who seemed to be yelling. I almost gagged when I saw Kukai standing near Amu. As I drew closer, very cautiously, I could faintly make out what they were saying.

"Because I want it," Utau said, arms crossed. "That lock goes with Ikuto's key, I'm the most suitable for it," Amu glared at her from her piteous position on the ground, her amber eyes watering. The group of X Eggs shot out at Amu. "Hinamori!" yelled Kukai, blocking them with a skateboard. Utau laughed. "I like competing, Amu. Through victory or defeat, a person grows and begins to shine. That's why I don't need El. She's too weak- too kind. I only need Il and Dia," I arched an eyebrow. Who the fuck is Dia?

"No way," said Amu, glaring at Utau. "She was born from your heart, and you're abandoning her just because she's weak?" So now she was trying to play guilt-tripping hero? Way cool. Utau smirked again. "NIGHTMARE LORELEI!" she yelled, character transforming with Il. I have to admit, Utau was very impressive. "You want Dia, don't you? Then fight me!" Amu was blown back by Utau's attack. "If people are kind, they will only be pushed to the pits of society."

"Kay, I kinda agree with that," Kukai said, standing against his skateboard. "Hey, what's with that tag team!" Amu yelled, looking rather dejected. Kukai shrugged. "I'll back you up, leave the X Eggs to me- Go fly!" he called, giving her the thumbs up. "HEY!" She really didn't take jokes well. "But... I can't compete with anyone, especially not Utau." Amu said quietly. Utau looked rather irked. "Why not?" Amu looked up innocently.

"Because I like you! You can sing, and you're cool- You clearly state your feelings." Utau looked slightly embarrassed. Utau looked away, her eyes finally meeting mine, and her cheeks got a faint pink tint. "Wh-what... Why... that-" "And also, I know deep down, you are a weak, but kind person." Amu's necklace began to shine. What was that thing? I started to panic as light engulfed my body, and I felt a tingly feeling in my fingers. "Shiuta-" I heard Akira's voice say. But not from inside of me. Why wasn't I character changing with Akira?

"Character Change- Amulet Angel!"

"Character Change- Sky Jack!" Kukai had also Character Changed? I looked down at my body, still engulfed in light. I heard a group of small, haunting whispers in my head, and I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't understand what they were saying. I could faintly make out the word "benign" and "hope". This couldn't be a Character Change with Akira. I opened my eyes, the light sweeping away from my face. I felt something on my head, and I reached up one of my hands as I felt two small, fuzzy ear. I was wearing a strapless dress, the top of it connected to a braided brown leather choker around my neck with thin bronze chains. Around my wrists were wide, braided leather cuffs in the same chocolate brown, bringing out the snow white complexion of my skin.

My dress was made of many layers of see-through, mesh-like fabric in a similar but redder shade of brown, the dress starting a few inches below my collar bone and ending far above mid thigh. On my feet were soft brown ankle boots, rounded at the end, and the fabric clinging closely to my ankles, golden buttons glittering on the outside of my ankles. I could see Amu staring at me, and even Utau was looking at me from the corner of her eyes. She had also Character Changed, but she was dressed in an outfit I had never seen before. A sweet voice in my head spoke to me.

_"Character Transformation: Doe Eyes..." _


	19. Mosaic

**Chapter 19! Wow, I never thought I'd end up making it this far. To those of you with questions, they will all be answered... Eventually. In the meantime, enjoy and review!**

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"Whoa... Shiuta?" I heard Kukai's familiar voice whisper from the air, where he hovered in his Character Transformation. I stood stone still for a long while, as Utau and Amu picked up their bickering again, not having the patience to bear with me as I took in my new transformation. I looked at my shoulders, where penny-sized, light brown dots stood out prominently against my ivory skin. They looked like the light tan spots one sometimes found on fawns.

"Shining Black!" Utau yelled, the power of her attack knocking Amu off her feet. "Amazing! So this is Dark Jewel's power? How is it, Amu!" Utau looked slightly deranged as she attacked Amu repeatedly. I stood there, dumbfounded. What the hell was I supposed to do? It was impossible to decipher the constant muttering in my foggy mind. "El, a little help!" Amu shouted, holding up her hand. "White flag!" Next thing I knew, Amu was on her knees holding a flag that said 'We Surrender'. How pathetic.

"I see. El will always be El," Utau hissed, a smirk on her face. Amu stared up at her, powerless. I should do something. But I didn't know what. I couldn't hear what the voices were telling me. "I guess I'll finish you off now," Utau said, holding up her hand. I felt a jolt through my system, like I had been electrocuted. My hair whipped around my face as my eyes went misty. Utau's head snapped in my direction, her pigtail swirling in the open air. "Don't interfere-" I held out one hand, blowing what looked to be sparkling dust from my palm.

"_Fawn Fever..._" I whispered, and I watched as Utau's face became feverish. Her eyes turned hazy as she dropped to the ground. "What... Are you... My legs..." she muttered incoherently as she struggled to right herself, but her body was rendered useless by my attack. I raised my hand for another attack, when there was a "woosh" noise as the jewel around Amu's neck flashed. Utau's outfit vanished, replaced by her own clothes. I collapsed on the ground, my hair fanning out on the sidewalk. My lungs felt weak, and I couldn't think straight.

"The Character Transformations vanished?" Kukai asked loudly. He was still transformed, zooming around on his skateboard. "Run out of batteries?" I heard a husky voice say. My body froze where it lay on the sidewalk. I heard feet hit the pavement, and a shuffling noise as they walked in my direction. "Well, I guess I came on time," he said, and I shifted my eyes upwards, glancing at him from under my lashes. I felt that familiar flutter in my heart again, as I fought to keep my face from looking red.

"Ikuto..." Utau muttered, looking down in shame. "Were you... Watching the whole time?" "Not really," he replied in a dismissive tone as he passed her, hands in his pockets. "I did watch a bit from a distance though," he said, his eyes traveling over to my limp form on the sidewalk. "Here," he said to Kukai and Amu, holding out a bag. They both gave him confused looks. "Utau ruined your ice cream earlier, right? So... Here," he said, thrusting the bag into Kukai's arms. "Whoa, for real!" Kukai was so silly sometimes. Part of my mind numbly wondered why Kukai didn't come over and help me. But most of me understood. Even if we were friends, he was also a guardian, and he had to stand by Amu at times like this.

"Why does Ikuto have to give an apology!" Utau yelled.

"That's not the point... You apologize, too,"

"No." Uatu huffed, looking the other way.

"Just apologize,"

"No way... It's not like Amu... Is an ally..." she said, close to tears. "IDIOT!" she yelled, pushing Ikuto backwards so he was on his back next to me. He gave me an exasperated look as I shrugged from my position on the cold concrete. Amu made a face. "Stupidstupidstupid STUPID IKUTO!" Utau yelled, banging her arms on his chest. I sighed. This was too drastic.

"It's always always Amu, isn't it!" Those words sent a pang through my heart. Always Amu, huh? "I thought you cared for my feelings!" At this point, I couldn't have agreed more with Utau. Amu wasn't an ally. Amu was a thorn in our side. What did Ikuto see in her? "Feelings-?" Utau cut him off by smashing her lips onto his, and I stared from the ground, completely dumbfounded.

"WHAT IS THIS!" Amu yelled, hands on her flaming cheeks. "That's some kiss..." Kukai said, his cheeks tinted pink. His eyes shifted over to me, and I glared at him from where I was on the ground. Stupid Kukai. "Stop it already!" Ikuto yelled, finally prying Utau off of his face.

"B-but.."

"We're siblings!" Kukai and Amu did a double-take. "WHAT!" Utau stood up, glaring in their direction. "Is there anything wrong with that?" she asked, wiping her lips on the back of her sleeve. "I may be Ikuto's younger sister, but that doesn't mean my feelings for him aren't real- I won't lose to anyone!" Amu blushed, staring straight at Utau. "But yet... It's never me..." she pouted, looking between Amu and I. "Even now, Ikuto hasn't decided on the girl he's interested in." Amu looked at me, her eyebrows knit together. "Wait, her?" I almost growled at her. Stupid bitch.

"It's not like I have a thing for Ikuto," I said, pushing my upped body up with my arms. "He's all yours Amu," I said, trying to seem impartial. Ikuto looked at me, and reached for my arm, causing me to collapse in his lap. "So what? All that time we spent alone in your house meant nothing?" he whispered in my ear, loud enough for everyone around to hear. Kukai blushed, looking away. Utau glared, and so did Amu. "What are you saying?" I said shrilly, pushing him away and trying to stand. What the fuck was wrong with my legs?

"Looks like you need a little help," Ikuto said, putting my arm around his shoulder as he lifted me up into his arms, my red hair cascading down his body, the red and blue clashing nicely around his neck. Utau huffed. "I won't loose to you... Shi-chan..." she whispered quietly, not looking me in the eye. I exchanged a glance with Ikuto, who merely nodded. I smiled at her, causing her to flush pink with embarrassment. "I'm going home!" she yelled, sauntering off, determinedly not looking my way.

Amu and Kukai still stood there, staring at us. Ikuto smirked, holding me closer to his chest. "Well, I'll see you kids later," he sneered, turning and walking towards my house. I let my head rest on his chest, my hand traveling up to stroke the side of his face. "Thank you, Ikuto," I muttered, and I felt his lips brush my knuckles. "Any time," he replied quietly. I shut my eyes, drifting off to sleep again.

**Normal POV**

A teenage girl lay sleeping on top of ice blue sheets, her fiery locks dropping off of the bed, nearly touching the floor. Her eyes were shut tight, muttering slightly ever now and then. The moonlight filtered through the thin curtains of the room, shining on her pale face. One ray of moonlight hit the corner of something hovering several inches above her chest, bobbing with the slow rise and fall of her breathing. The oval shape of it caught the light, intricate mosaic patters covering its surface. In the corner of the room sat an ominous presence, where a miniature girl floated in the air near the ceiling, her venomous eyes glaring in the direction of the object.

"You can't take Shiuta from me. I won't let you."


	20. Hara

**I'm at home sick, so I finally have time to write! I plan on this new chara playing a very, very significant role in the story (HINT: Kukai!) Tell me what you think of her! Enjoy, read and review!**

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I felt an obnoxious pressure on my chest when I awoke, and as I lifted up my head, my eyes met a stunning egg. It looked like it was made from glass- It glittered in the soft morning light. It looked like a beautiful stained glass window, and within the seperate pieces of glass I could see the paterns inside each formed a pristine picture of a doe and her fawn in a medow. It looked like an oil painting preserved in glass. I kept my breathing low, as if I would scare the egg back into oblivion if I was too loud.

I sat up slowly, bending my body to avoid bumping the now hovering egg. I brought one hand up, dragging a nail across the ice like surface. I could feel warmth flare up from within the glass oval, and I drew my hand back quickly. A brass clasp appeared on the front, and unclipped. The top of the egg fell back, still connected to the bottom with a smal brass hinge. My own eyes stared back at me- And I did a quick double take. I small girl with deep chocolate colored hair, the innocent waves cascading around her and filling the bottom of the egg where she sat. Her tanned skin accompanied by her hair made her look slightly ethnic. Her nose and cheeks just under her eyes were dappled with dark brown freckles. Her hazel eye and blue eye stared up at me from under a beautiful set of thick, dark lashes. Her dark shoulders were dotted with light, creamy circles, like a fawn. Her small body was covered in strapless and sleeveless wrap dress, the feather light, sheer fabric draping down to her tiny ankles, the beautiful light violet color complimenting her dark skin. Braided leather cuffs adroned her wrists and ankles. Her bare feet were curled beneath her.

"Hello," she said. Her voice was calm, level, yet commanding. I simply stared, our matching eyes meeting. "Who are... you?" I asked quietly, propping myself up more on my elbows, the straps of my grey silk nightgown slipping down my slim shoulders. Her full lips curved upward in a small smile. "My name is Hara, Shiuta." I inhaled slowly, my breath shuttering. She was so... Sweet. She leaned forwards, placing her slim, dark fingers around the edge of the egg, her neatly kept nails, painted a light lavender, tapping the glassy surface.

"I am you. Who you really are." I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" I asked. I wasn't like this girl. Not at all. She ran a hand through her dark locks, leaning her head against her raised arm, tangling her fingers in her waves, her chin resting on her other arm. "Underneath all of that hate... That anger, that sadness... That lonliness... You are a beautiful, sweet and caring person, Shiuta." she said softly, her eyes regarding me calmly. I pursed my lips. "I'm not lonely." I replied tursely, sweeping my feet off of my bed and onto the floor. She simply continued to stare from her egg.

"Shiuta, I'm not finished speaking," she said in her commanding tone. I opened the door to my closet, walking into it's depths, flicking on the light. "Continue," I said, shifting through my dresses. She sighed, shutting her eyes tiredly. "You need to be very, very careful." she whispered, touching one of her chocolaty curls to her soft lips absentmindedly. I didn't reply as I finally found my uniform. I stepped out of my nightgown as I slipped into a pair of matching plum undergarments. My hair tickled my back bone softly as I shook it back to put it up in a messy bun. "I'm like glass, Shiuta. Very fragile. If you make a big enough mistake with your choices, I'm going to break. Or worse- Shift." "Shift?" I asked, darting my eyes back to her as I pulled my dress over my head.

"I'm like a mosaic. The pieces of glass are placed in the oder the artist wants. If you're not careful, I'll end up like-" "Shiuta." I heard a slightly demonic voice say, and I snapped my head around to face the door. Akira was hovering near my dresser, her arms folded, her dark clothes adding her depressing aura. "What is it?" I asked quickly. Was Hara trying to say that if I made too many mistakes, she would end up... Evil? "I was just checking to see if you were," she paused, her dark eyes shifting over to Hara, who was now staring right back at her from under a curtain of soft curls. "...Awake..." she finished, turning around a hovering back out of my room.

My eyes trailed back over to Hara, who was now staring at me lazily from her lounging position in her egg. "She's very dangerous, you know." she informed me, as if it was no big deal. I slipped on a pair of velvet laceup oxford pumps, the tall heels clicking as I walked over to my bed. Hara smirked. "Those aren't part of the uniform, dear," she said, laughing quietly. It sounded like wind chimes. I wrinkled my nose. "They're close enough- It's just shoes." I replied as I picked up my shool bag. She peered up at me, giving me big doe eyes from under her thick lashes. "Can I come?" she asked hopefully, touching her fingertips to her lips in anticipation. I sighed. "Fine, fine." She smiled, shutting her egg as I reached to pick it up and place it in my bag.

I arrived in my classroom just before the late bell rang. I took my seat beside Kukai as the teacher walked in. He smiled at me awkwardly, and I realized he must still be thinking about our encounter the previous afternoon. "Hey," I said quietly, crossing my leg over my opposite knee. He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Nice shoes," he said sarcastically, flicking the three inch heel. "Ha, ha." I retorted, crossing my arms and turning away from him in mock anger. The lesson passed mostly in silence, as a sort of awkward stupor had settled between my best friend and I. It still felt nice to be around someone like him, though.

During lunch period, we ditched our normal lunch group to sit outside in the grass. We were in the shade of a large oak, the spring breeze blowing my loose strands of hair around my face. "So, Shiuta," Kukai said while slurping his school-bought Ramen. "Yesterday... What was that?" he asked, and I took my small box of store bought sushi out of my school bag. "It was a character change, Kukai," I laughed, pouring soy sauce over my lunch. I finished drinking his broth, and set down his styrofoam cup. "Yeah, but it was different from your other one," he said, wiping his lips on his sleeve. I arched an eyebrow. "You've never seen my other one." "Yes I did. The day I met you," he said, his green eyes meeting mine. He had known all along it was a character change. I had felt so embarrassed about him seeing me dressed like that for nothing.

"So what was it?" he pressed, staring me down. I sighed. "A new Chara." I explained. He smiled. "No way! Can I see her?" I shook my head, and placed my hand on my bag, which was now quivering sliughtly. "I, uh, don't have her with me." He shrugged. "I'll see her eventually." I laughed. "My friend Amu has three Chara- You, Amu and that Hoshina Utau girl are the only people I know of having more than one Chara." he explained, staring out over the soccer field. Fucking Amu, again. I wish that name would quit following me around. "Who exactly is _Amu_?" I asked icily, stuffing a piece of salmon in my mouth.

Kukai sighed, bringing his legs up and drapping his arms over his knees. "Amu is... A strong girl, I guess? I dunno, no offense to her, but nothing really defines her. She's not particularly 'talented', I guess. Unless she's character changed her character transformed with one of her Charas." he said, his green eyes sparkling in the afternoon sunshine, his chestnut hair ruffling in the breeze. I nodded knowingly. "She's in elementary school?" I asked, and he nodded, running a hand through his hair. "She likes to think she acts more mature than that, but not really," he laughed, and I perked up at that. _Take that, bitch. _I thought. "I don't think she likes you very much," he concluded, smirking. "Like I give a shit." I replied tartly. He laughed. "I told her that's how you'd react," "What, she asked you to tell me she didn't like me?" He nodded through his peels of laughter. "And... to t-t-tell you th-that she's go-g-gonna make you sorry or s-s-something," he laughed harder.

I couldn't help it. I laughed, too. I wiped away a tear of laughter as I turned to face him, my cheeks hot from laughing. I put one of my cool hands on my face, trying to cool myself down. "Aren't you supposed to be, like, her freind Kukai?" I said scathingly. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself from his previous fit of laughter. "I am her friend, Amu's a great girl. But sometimes, I think that she thinks too much of herself- Even though she's so insecure. And she never knows what she wants. She never wants to choose." I sighed, biting my lip. "Sounds difficult to handle," "But so are you," Kukai countered, shouldering my arm. "Excuse me?" I laughed, curling a piece of hair around my finger. "You're difficult to handle, too."

I spent the rest of the day thinking about that.

* * *

The orange afterglow of the evening sun created shadows between the alley I was in. I tapped my heels against the tall brick wall on which I sat, the rustle of the dry leaves of ivy adding to the soft whisper of the wind. Hara sat on my shoulder, her chocolate waves billowing behind her in the small breeze. I shrill laughter broke through my peaceful silence, and I whipped my head around, a few strands of loose hair tickling my eyelashes. Through the growing dark, I spotted Ikuto, his cat tail swishing in the open air, walking casually on the brick wall opposite mine. I sat perfectly still, as my eyes met the firgure of the one person I had wished most not to see.

Amu.

"Ikuto!" she yelled in the fucking obnoxious voice of hers. He didn't reply, simply continued walking with his hands in his pockets. "Keep up," he finally said, and I quietly slid down the wall, following closely behind them. "I can't keep my balance! Stupid Ikuto!" Did she think being loud and childish was attractive? "Hn," Ikuto seemed to be able to put up with her obnoxious stammering. "I have something to show you." After a while, he jumped off of the wall, followed by a loud thud which I could only assume, being on the other side of the wall, was Amu falling. My hands gripped the top of the wall, and I pulled myself up. My eyes were met with a completely familiar sight.

_"Ikuto, wait up, will you?" I asked, clambering up the wall behind him expertly. I was used to climbing walls with him. Utau was not as agile as we were, and I had to hold her hands as we walked. "Be quiet. We're almost there." The lights up ahead were nearly blinding as we got closer, and Utau clapped, ripping her hands from mine and nearly losing her balance. "Careful, Utau," I said, taking her hand back. We jumped down, and Utau immediately ran for the tea cups, leaving Ikuto and I to follow her around a chaperones. "Ikuto, thanks for bringing us here." I said as we got on the tea cups with Utau. _

_"You needed to get out of that house, Shiuta. I'm just... Glad you're having fun." My eyes widened. "Ikuto, you don't have to worry-" "But I do." He cut me off. "I do worry about you. I can't help it." I sighed. "Yes, you can. You need to stop, I can handle it." He closed his eyes. "You're only nine, Shiuta. I know you're strong- I've known you a long time." He was speaking quietly, even though Utau was clearly not listening at all. Her beautiful blond hair whipped around her face as the teacup spun. "Two years isn't that long." I whispered, turning away. "It's long enough," Ikuto replied, folding his arms too. "If something were to happen to you... I just really... I like spending time with you." I blushed, and smiled. "Me, too, Ikuto. Me too."_

I watched from my spot on the wall as Amu road all the rides, Ikuto sat on the bench, watching her. I was tempted to flip the switch on the breaker box, just to get Amu stuck on a roller coaster. I watched as she spazzed out about Ikuto not riding anything- I didn't care, she could be a ditz if she wanted. But the pit of my stomach bubbled as she dragged Ikuto to the one ride she hadn't ridden yet- the teacups. "Calm down, Shiuta," Hara whispered. I didn't even look at her. I was too focussed on Amu and Ikuto.

I slid from the wall, stealthily crawling my way over to the ride. Amu was laughing her stupid pink head off and ponting an accusing finger at Ikuto, who didn't look the least bit amused. "It's so lame! It doesn't fit you at all!" Well no shit, Amu. It's a fucking kid's ride. "God, I could never show this side of me to my mom." Ikuto raised an eyebrow. "Event though she's family?" Amu looked down innocently. Jesus Christ, she was milking it for all it was worth. "I have a little sister- At home, I have an outside character. I have to act responsible. Like, whenever we go out to an amusement park, we only ride what she wants. I act like I don't care, but sometimes I want to ride what I want to ride." I felt like slapping her. Does she think her life is hard? What the hell? That bitch had some nerve. Ikuto looked a little put-off as well. At least, I thought he did.

"You're strong." Amu's eyes widened. It seemed Ikuto was a sucker for the "My Life Sucks" train. "Maybe if I had an outer character, things would be easier for me." I wanted to throw up. "When I was younger, we used to come here all the time," he whispered, staring out over the amusement park. I felt my cheeks heat up. He remembered. "But it's all going to end soon. It won't be here much longer. The time where we have to choose which rides to ride is going to end." Amu was attempting to look deep into his eyes. It didn't seem to be working.

"Well, this is the first time I've ever been here. So, no matter how much longer this will all be here, it's still the beginning for me." Oh, how insightful. "So maybe you should make this the beginning for you, too." Ikuto's eyes widened as she smiled at him. I felt tears sting my eyes, and I no longer cared if they saw me. I stood up in one swift movement, my heels clicking loudly as I ran in the opposite direction. I didn't stop until I reached the end of the alley.

I pressed my back against the brick wall. My hair had fallen out of its loose bun, and it now cascaded down around my shoulders. I heard approaching footsteps, and I braced myself for Ikuto. "Shiuta?" he breathed when he saw me. His hair was windswept from running. Amu appeared at his side in minutes, her eyes narrowing as she spotted me. I glared back. "Hey," I said hoarsly. I probably sounded like I had been crying. "What are you- Who's that?" I raised an eyebrow. What the hell was he talking about? Then out of no where, a hand reached across my body. "Wha-" I began, looking to my right.

Standing next to me was the spitting image of Hara, only taller. Her dark hair fell down past her waist, and she was now dressed in my school uniform. She smiled at Ikuto, hand extended to shake his. He took it, scrutinizing her eyes. They looked just like mine. "My name is Hara," she said quietly. The cool night breeze swept her hair around her face, and I felt goosebumps erupt on the back of my neck that had nothing to do with the chill.


	21. Geranium Kisser

"Hello, my name is Hara," I attempted to mask the blatant shock on my face as Ikuto took the tan hand that was extended towards him. A hand that had, moments previously, been smaller than a dime. Ikuto scrutinized Hara's face, his eyes meeting hers and staying put for a while.

"I've never met you before," he muttered, turning his eyes to me. I shrugged, trying desperately to not make eye contact. He'd know I was lying instantly. Amu had yet to say anything; She was waiting impatiently to Ikuto's rear, tapping her foot loudly. Ikuto made a face. "Amu," he said, and she quickly perked up, amber eyes shining.

"Yes, Ikuto?"

"Do you mind?" Ikuto hissed, his eyes resting on her feet. That shut her up quickly, her foot ceased its tapping. Instead, she chose to nervously twine her ridiculous pink locks through her fingers, her eyes meeting mine with a hard 'cool and spicy' glare. I took this opportunity to flip her off. Hara gave me a shifty glance, and quickly attempted to draw Ikuto's attentions away from our silent feud.

"So, Ikuto," she began, releasing his hand. "How long have you and Shi-chan known each other?" she asked innocently. I flinched, the nickname striking a chord deep inside me.

_"Shi-chan!" Akira's beautiful face beamed upwards in my direction, a flower held in her fingers. "Look wha-"_

"Shiuta." Ikuto's voice erupted through my reverie, drawing me back to reality. "How come you never told me you had another sister?" he asked, sounding rather hurt. I was actually surprised that he had bought that. If he had really thought about it, he would have known there was no way Hara could have been my sister. What with my mother running off and all. He was clearly distracted. To add to the unbeleivability of the whole thing, there was no way in hell Hara and I looked related in the slightest, apart from our matching eyes. "_Half_... sister," Hara quickly, glancing shiftily at me. Amu scoffed, crossing her arms.

"If you're only 'half sisters', why are your eyes completely identical?" she retorted, coming to stand on Ikuto's other side. I rolled my eyes. Stupid pink haired bitch. Hara smiled sweetly, brushing her deep chocolate locks from her face and tucking them neatly behind her ear. "It's a hereditary birth defect from our mother's side. It's always been with the females in our family," she continued, meeting Amu's glare. "Our brother doesn't have it, because he's male." I mentally slapped myself. She really wasn't making things any better. On the contrary, she was making everything so much more complicated.

Ikuto sighed. "You have a brother, too?" he said, exasperated. "Damn, how much have you been hiding from me?" I rolled my eyes at the irony. Ikuto frowned. "Look, we've gotta go," I said tartly, glancing at my wrist. Ikuto raised an eyebrow. "Shiuta, you aren't wearing a watch..." I flushed, and glanced down at my wrist. "Ah, I guess not..." I laughed nervously, peering through my hair at Hara, who laughed.

"We really, really do need to go, actually," she said, as she raised her right arm. "I am wearing a watch. Silly me, we're already late!" she laughed, grabbing my hand. "What for?" Amu growled, her arms snaking around Ikuto's, who's eyes widened. I had to fight back a roar of anger. And punch. And probably several slaps. I couldn't wait for my next run-in with those elementary school brats.

"Ah, uh... Voice lessons," Hara replied, her eyes darting suspiciously as she did so. "Obviously," she continued, smiling as if Amu should have known all along. Ikuto wasn't falling for it. I sighed, clutching Hara's arm and tugging her in the opposite direction. "Let's just go," I said rather loudly, my heels clicking on the concrete as we speed walked away, leaving Ikuto and Hinamori Amu looking thoroughly confused.

* * *

"What the hell!" Back at the house, Hara had just come out of the hiding place she had been concealing herself in for the last hour and a half. She winced at the pitch of my voice. "What?" she called back, floating over to my spot on the couch. I glared icily.

"You know,"

"I don't." she replied resolutely.

"Don't play dumb,"

"I'm not!" At this, I thrust my hands into the air in defeat, growling loudly as I did so.

"Yes! Yes, you do!" I yelled, grabbing her and yanking her down to my level. "What the hell were you thinking? You just made up not one, no, but two! _Two_ fake siblings! Not to mention a fake hereditary birth defect!" I continued, shaking. "Are you _mentally deficient?_" I spat, shaking her up and down viciously.

"Well, I don't know, do you think maybe our mother had a hereditary disorder for that, as well?" she chided, biting my finger. "Fuck!" I hissed, letting go instantly. I glared from my low position on the couch up into the air in her direction. "I am very... Upset... With you, Hara," I explained calmly, attempting to control my fit of rage. Hara simply huffed, and wandered away again. She didn't speak to me for the rest of the night.

The next morning I woke up, stretching leisurely. Glancing at the clock, I realized that I was once again late for a song recording. I sighed in anger, leaping out of bed and getting into some clothes. I'd have to wait and shower later. I darted from the house, almost closing the door on Hara's hair. I had, once again, decided to leave Akira behind. She was becoming more and more upset with me every day.

I stared blankly at the lyrics I had written as the taxi drove towards Easter, and I fingered the hem of my little black dress I had chosen to wear that day. I furrowed my eyebrows- I had recently bought this, and already a hole was beginning to form. I tied my thick flaming hair up in a bun, which I wore to the side. It sat in the slope from my neck to my shoulder, the smooth-looking wad of hair sending little shivers over my skin whenever a loose hair brushed the back of my neck.

"You're late, _again_," Utau said as soon as I entered the building. I smiled. "Good morning, Utau," She smirked back, but did not return my greeting. I raced up to the recording studio, where Sanjo-san was tapping her foot impatiently. My mind instantly flashed a picture of Amu, which made me want to slap something. Sanjo-san didn't even glance my way as she instructed the people recording to set up while I got situated.

"You have finished those lyrics, I trust?" she asked, her arms crossed. I nodded quickly, not wanting her to go off on a lecture. "Well, get in there, we don't have all day," she snapped. I glared, but followed her orders. That woman seriously needed to get laid. I set my papers down in front of me, and placed the headset over my ears. Sanjo-san gave me the signal, and began to play the tune we had worked on earlier this week. As the music began, Ikuto entered the room, causing me to blush feverishly. I parted my lips, sucking in a quick breath before I began.

_"Geranium kisser," _As I began singing, images of Akira and I frolicking through the field down the street from our old home filled my mind, lulling me into a gentle trance.  
_"Skin like silk and face like glass,_  
_Don't confront me with my failures._  
_Kiss me with your mouth open,_  
_For your love, better than wine." _Memories flooded my conscious mind. Ikuto and I were sitting next to one another, sun setting, my soccer bag facing our backs. My flaming hair moved slightly with the breeze.  
_"For your cologne is really fragrant._  
_Call on me, call on me, call on me..."_

_"Your hair is like an eagle,_  
_Your two eyes are like two doves." _Of course the first image that came to mind were Ikuto's cerulean orbs. As I recalled the image repeatedly, I found my mind at ease. I was back where I belonged. To who I belonged.  
_"But our bed is like a failure,_  
_All day up in the family._  
_At the waning of the light,_  
_To the chamber that conceived me._  
_Call on me, call on me, call on me..."_

_"Geranium killer,_  
_Throat of soil of and mind like stone." _My mind conjured up images of that one fight. The pain, and only the pain. I could remember the horrible look in his eyes as I had stabbed him.  
_"Please don't defend a silver lining_  
_Around the halo of what is already shining._  
_When all the planets are aligning," _I took a breath, pulling my fingers through some stray hairs, which were tickling the skin on my neck. I smiled serenely.  
_"For an afternoon that's never ending._  
_Call on me, call on me, call on me..." _Finishing, I opened the lids of my eyes, light from the room pouring into them. My eyes met Ikuto's, and at that moment, I don't think I had ever as sure as I was then. I was in love.

* * *

**Song is Two Doves by The Dirty Projectors**


	22. Concentric Circles

**_Song: R.I.P. Burnface - CoCoRosie (Daytrotter Version)_**

**_

* * *

_**_"In her morning in her grave,_  
_In her mourning in her grave,_  
_Don't you miss the way_  
_That she brushed her heavy hair..." _I shut my eyes as I sang, letting pictures of my traitorous mother fill my mind's eye.  
_"Oh and la la la la la,_  
_Acid burn face clowny tear smile._  
_She's the one who made you wild," _The places both Kukai and Ikuto had ever touched me burned. My mind was clouded, confused. I was in love. I knew that. With who, exactly, I wasn't as sure.  
_"She made you question all your answers,_  
_Baby be for her forgivness."_

_"Baby girl don't cry._  
_Mama scared the boy who had cloud sigh,_  
_And it will glimmer life's so alive." _Akira and I sat by the street, tear tracks traced their way down Akira's smooth porcelain face. I smiled down, telling her that everything would be fine. Father was only in a tense mood. The bad man in the house, breaking all of our toys, would soon be gone. Father would be back, soon.

_"She's got no reservations, and got no place to be..." _Sanjo-san was staring at me intensely from her spot on the couch. To her left sat Ikuto, his gaze just as intense as hers, but kinder. He watched me as I sang, but he couldn't see the memories and the confusion swelling within my plagued mind.

_"The graveyard's in the backyard where the meadow used to be." _I sat in the backyard of my childhood home. The garden Mother had once labored for days over had been torn up months ago. In its place was a crudely made wooden cross, which sat over a mound of dirt. Knowing what I know now, I'm sure that beneath that earth was only a box full of Mother's things. Her body was off with Ikuto's father.

_"Lord knows my destination, _  
_Lord hears my inner prayer._  
_One will find me by the river,_  
_Soaking with her party baloons..."_

_"Flowers for the ones you loved!" _I used to pick daisies, and place them on Mother's grave. But every morning after they would have been removed, beheaded, and tossed uncerimoniously to the ground.

_"Flowers for the lost I'd see..._  
_Flowers for the ones you loved,_  
_Flowers for the lost I'd see!" _I felt like I was being torn in two. My head couldn't focus on any one problem. It continued to dart back and forth, Ikuto, Kukai, Mother. Mother, Ikuto, Kukai.

_"Flowers for the ones you loved,_  
_Flowers for the lost I'd see..._  
_Flowers for the ones you loved,_  
_Flowers for the lost I'd see..."_

I removed my headset, placing it on the podium in front of me. They had been churning out song after song all week. Monday morning had been the release of my first CD, along with Utau's new single. Apparently it was very popular, although I still couldn't see why. Why would people want to listen to music that can only make them feel sad? I exited the room, a tired feeling washing over me. Ikuto simply followed me out of the door, asking no questions. The line from a hand game briefly popped into my mind-

_"Ask me no more questions, and I will tell you no more lies."_

I yawned as we got into a cab, and before I knew it, darkness had swallowed me whole.

_The morning sun hit my flaming hair, glinting off of the few strands that weren't disgusting and covered in dirt. I wandered, barefoot, down the street. Ikuto's house came in to view, and I sped up a little. I had fought with him a few days before, and although I was reluctant to apologize, I was just so lonely. I never saw Akira anymore. She spent all of her time with father. Before I could get to the door, Ikuto was out in the street, stopping me in my tracks._

_"Ikuto-"_

_"Shiuta," he said calmly, cutting me off. I shut my mouth quickly, waiting on edge to hear what he had to say. He cast his eyes downward, not seeming to want to speak. Finally, he took a deep breath, looking me in the eyes. Blue eyes met hazel irises. They had both been hazel, then. "I'm sorry, Shiuta. But... We can't... We can't be friends anymore..." He spoke softly, as if he spoke too loudly he would shatter me with his words. At that moment, I would have thought it possible. I felt so fragile. I felt so alone. I felt so angry. I felt so scared._

_"Why?" I finally managed to choke out. 'Why?': The million dollar question in my life, even now. He simply stared at me for quite some time, his indigo hair blowing in the light morning breeze._

_"You know why," he muttered. He turned to go. No, I had to stop him. If he left, then I'd be all alone. Words could not describe how much I needed him. Please, please don't go! I wanted to say. But instead, I wrapped my arms around him from behind, burying my face in between his shoulder blades. My flaming locks entagling with his blue ones. Red and Blue. Fire and Water. Opposites. But opposites could attract, couldn't they? __Ikuto shook me off roughly, not turning around._

_"Go home, Shiuta," he said, and with that he went back inside. I collapsed onto the concrete. What the hell was I supposed to do, now?_

My eyes snapped open. It was dark, and I was laying on a bed. My tense body relaxed; I was at home. I moved my hand forward to stretch, only to encounter an obstacle in my path. I moved my face closer. Ikuto was lying directly in front of me, his blue hair framing his sleeping face. I had to squint my eyes in order to see him clearly, but he looked sound asleep. I withdrew my hand, bringing it back to my place on the bed. Sitting up slowly, I surveyed my surroundings.

I had no idea where the hell I was. None of the things in the room I was in were recognizable to me. My bare feet touched the hard wood floors of the room as I stood. I was still in my skinny jeans and floral printed shirt, but someone had taken off my shoes and socks. Which meant someone, namely Ikuto, had been touching my feet. This thought made me rather uncomfortable.

Finally gathering that, due to the unfamiliarity of my surroundings, I must be in Ikuto's house, I rushed back to the bed. Being in an unfamiliar house in the dark, pretty much alone, was not something that made me feel all to calm. I gingerly edged my way back into the bed, my eyes settling on Ikuto's face once again. Cautiously, so as not to wake him, I moved my slender fingers towards him, brushing a stray piece of hair away from his eyes. In an instant, his eyes snapped open, completely alert. He grabbed my hand, gripping it tightly. His eyes looked angry, betrayed, and I couldn't understand what I had done wrong. But it all vanished quickly, replaced by the look he usually had in his eyes- That calm and confident stare.

"What are you doing, Shiuta?" he asked softly, still holding my hand. I continued to stare into his eyes, trying to work out his first reaction to my touching him. I still couldn't understand it. "Shiuta," he said again, grabbing my attention with his commanding voice. I flinched, drawing back. "What were you doing?" he repeated. I paused.

"Trying to murder you while you slept," I replied playfully. He smirked.

"Very funny,"

"Wasn't it, though?" I retorted, trying to pull my hand away. He wouldn't let go, and instead brought my hand towards his lips. He kissed the palm of my hand lightly, sliding it back up the side of his face. His skin was so smooth for a boy his age. _Man_ would probably be the more accurate term, but I tried not to use it when thinking about him. It made me feel intimidated, like I wasn't enough.

_Enough for what?_ A small voice in the back of my head spoke. It was a question I did not yet have the answer to.

I blinked suddenly as I felt cool fingertips graze my cheek. Ikuto had taken his free hand and was tracing the contours of my face. Without thinking about it, I allowed my eyelids to flutter shut, the feeling of him touching my face soothing me, my heart rate slowing to a steady, calm pace. I parted my lips, sighing contently. I felt, ironically enough, like a cat. Ikuto chuckled softly.

"You look pretty horny right now, you know," Tsukiyomi Ikuto, Moment-Ruiner. I glared, batting his hand away with my face.

"Fuck off," hissed, turning away from him, which I later found was not a good move when Ikuto was the person you were sharing a bed with. He snaked his arms around my stomache, his head resting on my shoulder. He nipped my neck lightly with his teeth, causing me to jump. "Stop it," I whispered, attempting to relax and get comfortable, but Ikuto wouldn't let me. His hands somehow worked their way under my shirt, his fingertips tracing concentric circles on my skin. I closed my eyes, a warm feeling washing over me. He just kept running the very tips of his fingers over my skin, the feeling was soothing and calm.

I opened my eyes to find that my shirt was halfway off, and I glared. "Not okay, Ikuto," I hissed, pulling the hem down to cover my exposed flesh. He shrugged.

"You let it happen,"

"I didn't know what was happening." I stated, turning back to face him.

"Did,"

"Didn't." I replied resolutely, biting the inside of my lip. He stared back at me, unwavering. I sighed, scratching my neck nervously. "Could you do that again?" I asked softly, looking anywhere but at him. He laughed quietly.

"No way, you'll just yell at me again," he said, smirking slightly

"I never yelled at you!"

"See, you're doing it again," he replied calmly, shutting his eyes. I flipped over on my back.

"It just felt nice, that's all." I said, crossing my hands over my abdomen. "Forget I asked," I sighed, shutting my eyes. After a minute, I felt Ikuto's weight shift, and his cool hands gripped my wrists lightly, moving the to the side. I felt the tips of his fingers ghost over the part of my stomach that wasn't covered by my shirt. He didn't go any higher, he didn't do anything else. And when a calm feeling suddenly took over, I didn't fight it, and I drifted off to sleep once again.


	23. God Has a Voice, She Speaks Through Me

**Chapter 23! After a review from one of my readers, I realized that I had accidentally uploaded a chapter from one of my other stories instead of this chapter! Thanks so much for calling me out on that, and I am so sorry for the confusion!**

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"Do you really have to do this?" Kukai's voice blurted suddenly. It was Friday afternoon, and we had finally finished an hour and a half of practice. We had a game the following Monday. I raised an eyebrow, bending down to the ground to reach my water bottle, which had rolled under the bench. This earned me quite a few whistles, to which Kukai growled in response.

"Fuck off, you idiots!" he yelled, throwing the ball roughly in to Kyou's chest, causing him to grunt in pain.

"Hey, man, chill!" Nori laughed, putting up his hands. "Lay off, alright guys?" he said, shooting a meaningful stare in Haru's direction, who had just opened his mouth to say something. Winking at Kukai, Nori shepherded the group of rowdy boys off towards the parking lot. Finally on our own, Kukai looked down at me, continuing our previous conversation.

"Why can't you just quit?" I sighed. I had explained many times to Kukai, but he never ceased to relentlessly pester me about it.

"I can't, Kukai, I told you," I said, picking up my bag and following him towards the sidewalks. "I have a contract and stuff." He sighed, sounding defeated. He ran his fingers through his caramel colored locks, his green eyes glistening from the lights which lined the street.

"Alright. I get it. But you do know Tadase will bring the Guardians and try to stop you," he said, turning to me.

"Who?"

"Blonde kid. Kinda looks like a girl,"

"Ah." I said, finally realizing who he was talking about. Without thinking, I suddenly blurted, "So does that Amu girl like him, or something? Because she always flirts with you _and _Ikuto," I said this all very fast, and I was left struggling to catch my breath. Kukai laughed, hoisting his bags further up his shoulder.

"To tell you the truth, I don't have a fuckin' clue." he said, his green eyes glittering. "I know she used to be, like, straight up obsessed with Tadase- she even yelled that she loved him in the middle of a school assembly," At this, I busted out laughing, clutching my sides.

"That has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" I said between my bouts of laughter. Kukai smiled down at me.

"Well, she was pretty embarrassed. But it was gutsy," I raised an eyebrow.

"You can't actually _admire _someone who does shit like that, can you?" I said, still breathing heavily from laughing. He shrugged.

"But to answer your question, I don't really know who Amu likes. I haven't really noticed her flirting with me, though," he said, his eyebrows knitting together, as if trying to remember.

"Are you blind, or something?" I teased, pushing his shoulder so he lost his balance. He frowned, but said nothing. I sighed, my gaze going back to staring straight ahead. "... Will you come?" I asked softly, pushing my hair behind my ear. He sighed, debating inside his head.

"Yeah... Yeah, I'll come," He spoke softly, as if he was upset by the very thought of watching me sing. "I honestly have no idea what I'll do if Tadase asks me to help him, though," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. I was silent. I didn't know what he would do, either.

* * *

Utau had been in an extremely bad mood all evening. Part of me wanted to say that it was because she hated sharing the spotlight. But most of me said it was something else. What, I couldn't be sure. As she walked by my dressing room my eyes followed her newest Chara, Dia. The fact that such a powerful Chara had come from Amu irked me somewhat, hating to admit that the pinkette could quite possibly be powerful.

I turned towards the mirror, observing my outfit from different angles. The dress fit me well, hugging every small curve of my body. The jet black material let my ivory skin stand out nicely, and my fiery hair offset the whole thing nicely. I slipped on a pair of black heels as I heard Sanjo-san yell that I had two minutes.

"Hey," I heard a husky voice say from the doorway. I looked up in to the mirror, spying Ikuto leaning against the door frame. I turned, leaning against the side of the table.

"Hey," I smiled softly. Smirking back at me, Ikuto pushed himself away from the door frame, walking painstakingly slowly in my direction. I felt my heart flutter. I felt his warm fingers grab my chin, forcing my head upwards to look him in the eyes. As I stared, I felt like I could be lost forever in them. They were like a stormy ocean, and I felt a wave of calm wash over me. Suddenly, I felt something soft make contact with my lips, and as I came rushing back to reality I realized what it was. Ikuto had leaned down, pressing his lips softly against my own. Fighting my instincts, which told me to run, I let my eyes flutter shut.

My fingers tangled in his hair, which was surprisingly soft. I felt him smirk against my lips, his arm snaking around my waist, pulling me against him. He was so warm, and I felt comfortable just being in his arms. I parted my lips slightly, allowing him to slip his tongue between them. It was a sensation I had never felt before, but I found that I quite liked it. In one swift motion Ikuto pulled away, his lips pressed in a firm line, as if he had been caught in the middle of something. Peering over his shoulder, I saw Sanjo-san suddenly appear in the doorway.

"Chiharu, what are you doing? It's time for you to go on!" I sighed in relief. I thought she had seen Ikuto and I. She rushed away, looking flustered. Ikuto turned his gaze back to me.

"Knock 'em dead, kid," he said, and I could tell he was forcing himself to not ask me questions about my fake name. I sighed. I knew they would come later. Looking Ikuto in the eyes, I placed the palm of my hand to his cheek. He shut his eyes, a calm look spreading over his features.

"Thanks, Ikuto," I said softly. I kissed him again, his lips just as soft as before. I cringed as I heard Sanjo-san yell for me again. "I better go," I muttered, walking swiftly towards the door. Ikuto chuckled.

"Does that dress even qualify as clothes?" he asked, following me out of the door. I slapped him in the chest with the back of my hand.

"Shut up," I muttered, my cheeks flushing pink. I could hear people cheering, and Sanjo-san ushered me through the curtains.

"Don't screw this up," she whispered threateningly. I glared. That was definitely the way to go about things. As soon as I appeared on the stage a cheer erupted through the hoards of people. Some held signs with me name, others were simply yelling at me. I flashed a smile, and I heard a million cameras clicking away. I felt a little sick. I took a step back as I heard the music begin, causing a new round of applause. I waved, smiling to the crowd. It felt as though I was going through some weird sort of ritual. I felt the lights hit my skin, and I could feel Akira's presence in my mind. I parted my lips and began to sing.

_"All my charities belong to you,_  
_Watching dolphins in your sea." _I sang softly, repeating the movements Sanjo-san had taught Utau and I. I felt all eyes on me, and I faintly wondered whether or not Kukai had kept his promise to come.  
_"The earth is a pretty place to be._  
_All my charities belong to thee..."_

_"Black bodies float in the sea,_  
_We can see but he can't see me..._  
_A starlit shroud like the dark to you," _I opened my eyes, and I felt nearly weightless, my music coursing through my veins. My eyes fell on a head of pink, and I saw the eyes of Hinamori Amu glaring directly at me. The blonde boy, who Kukai had referred to as Tadase, looked equally pissed. His arms were crossed, and I saw several Chara floating in the air. All were glaring at me.  
_"Laughter echoes in my private room..."_

_"Kissing fireflies on a beach,_  
_How sweet that we can be._  
_Everyone has love to give,_  
_Our hearts will teach us how to live." _My arm outstretched, I could feel a strange sort of power coursing through me. I watched as the people in the front row watched my every move, and I saw tiny lights begin to appear over several peoples' hearts.

_"My body wept,_  
_I feel so free._  
_The water softly tickles me..._  
_My heart is pounding waiting for_  
_The ocean deep enough to lift my veil..."_

_"Crystal light shine down on us,_  
_God has a voice she speaks through me." _My voice sounded soft, reassuring, but I felt like a witch casting a spell. The soft lights had grown brighter, and were increasing in numbers. My eyes softened, and I felt guilt ripple through my body.  
_"Every creature longs to be_  
_In his arms, please carry me."_

_"I am happy in the light of day._  
_My skin glows bright in the sun rays._  
_My shadowed world seems so far away," _I had written these lyrics a while back. All of my lyrics held a certain place in my heart. Certain lines, certain versus. I looked down at the crowd, and felt suddenly very sad. I was using my special voice for evil.

_"My angel taught me not to fear,_  
_Love is free and everywhere._  
_Listen to that special part,_  
_It will save us, it's the heart." _Upon finishing this line, I watched as eggs began to rise up into the air. My eyes following them, their pure, glowing lights touching me with their warmth.

_"God has a voice she speaks through me..._  
_God has a voice she speaks through me..._  
_Crystal light in every creature._  
_Crystal light in every creature._  
_Everyone has love to give..."_

I finished my song, applause ringing in my ears. These people, all these children, adults, people who trusted me. None of them had any idea how vulnerable I had made each and every one of them. I followed Amu's gaze upwards, each egg floating softly in between the rafters. As I made my way off of the stage, I passed Utau, a look of confidence adorning her face. I couldn't shake the crushing guilt that now seemed to permanently rest on my back.


	24. All In My Head

**Song is Fatherhood by CocoRosie**

**

* * *

**

I glared down at the pair venomously from my perch on the top of the tall brick wall. My gaze narrowed, eyeing the indigo haired boy as he slowly drew closer to the pinkette. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. I _hate _it. Akira and Hara floated above my shoulders; Hara on the right, Akira on the left. It was fitting, if one really thought about it.

Amu's little band of elementary school heroes had once again shown up to thwart Ikuto's efforts to retrieve X-eggs. I had to admit, they had good timing. Amu was leading them, her pink hair standing out brightly in the darkness of the night. I was vaguely surprised that she was allowed to be out so late. Ikuto smirked, stepping closer to the young girl, putting a single finger under her chin and tilting her head upward.

"Didn't you say you were here to stop me, _Amu_?" I glowered. I hated it when he said her name like that. The little blonde boy behind her flared up instantly.

"Release her, you filthy cat!" he roared, brandishing his saber in the air.

"Amu-chan!" cried the girl with purple hair. For people so desperate to help her, they were doing an awful lot of talking. As Ikuto drew Amu closer, her blush increased, and finally I just couldn't take it. I slipped off of the wall, landing lightly in the grass below. Amu flinched, at last managing to break away from Ikuto. The blonde boy glared, his red eyes flaming with rage.

"You!" he cried, pointing at me accusingly. My red hair whipped around me, but stayed out of my face, thanks to being in a ponytail. I smirked to myself, walking closer to Ikuto.

"You're being awfully friendly to the enemy, Ikuto," I observed, glaring at him from under my lashes. He smirked.

"Jealous?"

"Why is it that's all you ever have to say when I ask something about Amu?" I snapped, turning to glower icily in the pink haired girl's direction. Even her hair annoyed me. Pink? Really? She frowned, crossing her arms. Her character transformation was ridiculous, the overlarge hat she wore made her head look freakishly small by comparison.

"It's all your fault that we're here!" she yelled, stomping her foot rather childishly. I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh?"

"Yeah! If it wasn't for you and Utau, all of these X-Eggs wouldn't even be here!" the blonde boy walked up, standing behind her, glaring hard at Ikuto and I.

"Just doing my job," I replied, shrugging nonchalantly.

"You're so selfish!" Amu cried, a look of frustration clouding her features. I flinched. _I _was selfish?

"Hardly."

"Hardly? You've taken all of these kids' dreams- Just so you can get paid! Do you even know what it's like, feeling that helpless?"

"Do you?" I retorted, crossing my arms. I felt a dark aura flare dangerously around Akira, and Ikuto backed up a little.

"Their dreams are gone, imagine how empty-"

"Have _you_ ever experienced something like that, Amu?" I snapped, stepping forward, leaving Hara behind. "No. Of course you haven't. The only thing close is having to be a '_responsible older sister who can't ride the rides she wants_', isn't that right?" I snarled. She looked surprised, and rather hurt, looking towards Ikuto.

"Amu-" I cut him off, not really caring how he was going to explain that he hadn't told me later.

"Well, I've got news for you, _Hinamori Amu_." I spat, stepping even closer, a black energy now radiating off of Akira. "That hardly compares to anything. _Anything._ That others have experienced. You are the selfish one."

"Like you're one to talk-"

"Oh, but I am!" I roared, and I felt a horrible, icy, tingly, pins and needles feeling stab through my chest. I could feel Akira's darkness taking over my heart, and I could feel her taking over my body. "_Would you like for me to show you?_" I sneered evilly, and I began to laugh uncontrolably, and the group backed up.

"Shiuta," Ikuto placed a hand on my shoulder, but I shook him off roughly.

"I will show you," I snickered, and I didn't even know what I was doing anymore. This wasn't me. This deep, dark, hatred... This wasn't mine. Our surroundings flickered, and the orange haired girl looked around, panicking.

"Amu! Where'd you go!" she squealed, clutching onto the arm of the green haired boy. Amu's amber eyes were wide, and she was staring at me in horror. I silently wondered what it was she saw...

_A younger me sat crouched on the bed. Wallpaper was peeling off of the walls that I was huddled up against, and it looked like I was crying. Screams broke through the silence of the house._

_"Shi-chan! HELP ME!" a voice sobbed, and the younger me flinched. I felt someone stiffen beside me, and I turned my head, only to see Amu and Ikuto on either side of me. I tried to open my mouth to say something, but Akira had completely taken over. I was a prisoner in my own head._

"Priests and demons good as gone,  
Broken soul to the doubling zone." _My lips were moving, but I wasn't the one speaking. It wasn't even my voice. Ikuto turned to me, and Akira continued to sing, her demonic voice barely concealing the continuous screams that were causing my younger self to flinch, as though she were being whipped._

_The scene changed, and now the three of us watched as the younger me attempted to claw her way through the chain link fence, a large dog slowly closing in on her. She turned back, fear clouding her eyes, and she screamed as the dog bit into her leg. I wanted to cry out, but Akira just smirked. My body wasn't even mine anymore._

"You left me in my mother's womb,  
Teenage burn out womb to tomb..." _My younger self sat on the edge of the tub, her small body enveloped in a grubby looking towel. Her sullen eyes observed the young blonde girl splayed in front of her on the floor. Blood streamed down her thighs, hand print shaped bruises standing out clearly against her porcelain skin. I wanted to gasp, scream, do something. But Akira's iron grip on my consciousness never yielded. Amu's lips moved, looking me in the eyes sternly, but I could hear nothing. The eerie melody that Akira was producing blocked out all else._

"My mother never enjoyed your love,  
She warned me of your ghosty blast.  
Twisted spider and poisoned web,  
You take my childhood before I had." _The scene changed yet again, and we watched as the young red haired girl beat on her father's door, tears streaming down her grimy face. Blood leaked from her fist, her skin cracking against the hard wood. I could hear screams of pain, and grunts from my father escape from the room. Why was Akira showing them this? How could she show Amu this? Ikuto?_

"Priests and demons mystical,  
You show me nature's miracles.  
Pray? We did, below the sky." _A pale hand pressed to the cracked glass of a window, which I recognized as being my room, once again. The younger me touched her forehead wearily to the glass, shutting her eyes. I could remember the feeling- The feeling of just wanting to die. To cease to exist._

"Dark as raven's feathers,  
But in the end your children die." _The small blonde girl sat, crouched opposite of the younger me, watching her intently. The red head brought the smoking paper to and from her lips repeatedly, smoke making its way up towards the ceiling in tendrils. In my mind, I grimaced. This was the me that I hadn't even known had existed. The me that I hated. The me that let Akira whither and die._

"They'll meet you in heaven.  
Your soul it can never die,  
Even if your poisoned..."

"Watch, watch, watch them walk away..."

_I felt Ikuto draw back suddenly, and I realized what we were now looking at. The younger me was holding her head in the tub, her face was entirely submerged in the cool water. Her fiery locks fanned out over the water's surface, air bubbles periodically making them move. A man burst in, yelling loudly, though we could not hear it. His fist made contact with her side, sending her out of the water and into the opposite wall. She gasped for breath, starved of air, her face dripping wet. Her hair clung to the curves of her face, as her hazel eyes looked up at father, silently pleading with him. He brought his fist back, anyways, and a resounding clap broke through the evil melody._

"So the moral of the story is,  
Magic doesn't save your kids." _The blonde girl held out her wrists, her older sister taking them in her own. She looked up angrily, shouting something at the little blonde, who flinched back. Amu was craning her neck, looking horrified as she spied the long scars that marred the surface of the young Akira's smooth skin. Ikuto stood, stoic, at my side, his eyes coldly taking in the scene in front of him._

"They needed your love to grow up tall,  
Like the purple mountains.  
You held my hand in the shopping mall.  
This is all I've counted.  
I'm broken, bruised, and blasted," _The younger me lay out on her bed, white gauze and bandages covering the side of her face, covering her eye. Blood had seeped through in places, the ruby red color standing out clearly against the pure white. She rubbed her finger up and down the sharp edge of a razor, her thumb slicing down the middle, blood dribbling onto the carpet._

"Now every man's a bastard." _Red and blue tangled in the air, and Ikuto flinched beside me. The younger versions of us stood opposite each other, the red head's eyes narrowing dangerously as the young Ikuto spoke sternly. She turned on her heel, walking swiftly away. A forlorn looking Ikuto stood in the middle of the road, watching me go._

"A black handle crystal crucifix,  
Those shoes are big they almost fit.  
I guess I got my mamma's feet,  
I guess I got my mamma's feet." _Mother's rosary that she had always worn dangled from the younger me's fingers, her discolored eyes following as it moved. Underneath the horrid melody that filled these memories, I could hear my sister's screams- But the young me was ignoring them, her eyes staring out at the small black cross that continuously spun at the end of the chain._

"All new babes, I forget your names.  
You name the boy your namesake,  
Unicorn turned up a snake.  
What is my little sister's fate?" _The door to father's room fell open, and Ikuto backed away, shaking his head repeatedly. Akira was tied to the bed, the sheets barely covering her, as father hovered over her. Ikuto covered Amu's eyes, and I could see tears seeping out from underneath his hands. I wanted to say that I was sorry. I wanted to get them away from my memories. These memories were supposed to only be mine- They weren't something meant to be shared. I wanted to get out. I needed to get out. But I couldn't close my eyes. Akira wouldn't let me._

"Watch, watch, watch them walk away..."

"So was this all a big mistake?  
Now I got my legacy.  
To live and die and to create,  
I suppose I should thank you.  
You never were the violent type," _The younger me brandished a shard of glass as father closed in on her. His looming figure cast shadows over her frightened face, and she stabbed, missing him by inches. He grabbed her hair, swinging her into another room, which he followed her in to, tossing her onto the bed. Inside my head, I froze. No. This wasn't right. He had never done that to me. That was only Akira. Only... Akira._

_Ikuto tugged on my arm, and I wished that he had known how badly I wanted to leave. It was my screams filling the air now, and I peered out through the eyes that were no longer my own, scanning the hallway. Where was Akira? Why wasn't she here? She was always here. It was always her. Always her. Never me. How could it be me? Father had hated me._

"Only with your mentals,  
I used to hold your coffee cup.  
You taught me fundamentals.  
Of all the evils of the world," _The younger me sat on father's bed, huddled in the corner. She was muttering to herself. I was talking to myself. I watched, still not understanding. Ikuto grabbed my shoulder, and I could see that he was speaking to me. But I still couldn't hear. Amu was still cowering under his arm. But I couldn't leave. I didn't understand. Where was Akira?_

"And only you could save it.  
My mother's a witch with her black hair,  
Only you can save her." _Her red hair clung to her back, the water dripping down her skin. She stared down at the tile, as if studying it. She said something, but nobody was there. There wasn't anyone anywhere near her. I watched as blood dripped down the red haired girl's thighs, and a horrifying realization rushed through my body. I wanted to sob, to scream. To break things, to burn things, to cleanse my body of this horrible, horrible thing. I wanted to feel pain, but at the same time I wanted to go completely numb. _

"You're first born on the chosen one  
What happened to messiah?" _Ikuto shook me by the shoulders, blocking the younger me from view as he yelled at me. Akira said nothing, and therefor I couldn't either, but I doubt that I would have. My heart was beating painfully in my chest, and I suddenly felt a horrible pain in my stomach. I felt like my knees were about to buckle. I wanted to give in, to give up, for it to all be over. I wanted Ikuto to slap me, to beat me, to kill me. Then maybe I would be rid of this horrifying plague on my body._

"Jesus always your right hand,  
What happened to messiah?"

"Watch, watch, watch, watch, watch them walk away,"

_Akira. My sister. My beautiful sister. The one who I had lived for all these years. The one that I had loved with all of my heart..._

"We watch, we watch, our fathers walk... Away..."

_She had always just been... In my head._


	25. Cry, Cry, Cry

**To LadyShinkuKaze: I LOVE the Uninvited- It's one of my all time favorite thriller films! So glad you mentioned it, it's an excellent movie. Anyone reading this who's into movies like that should definitely check it out. Thanks for reading!**

**So I know that recently I haven't been updating this thing much at all. However, I am planning on doing only a few (probably this one and then one other) more chapters before finishing up Camera Obscura for good (although I may do some sort of bonus chapter as well, it depends on reader feedback)- I made a promise to myself that I was going to finish this, and once it's done this will be the first multiple chapter story that I've finished during my time as a member of FF. This is also definitely my most popular story, so it has to be finished decently. So anyways, hope you enjoy this next chapter and be sure to review- The end is near!**

* * *

I felt horrible. I felt sick. I felt dirty. The amount of showers I had taken since my return home must have numbered somewhere in the double-digits, although I had quickly lost count. Old wounds had opened up, my sealed memories bleeding through my mind, and no matter what I did I just couldn't seem to stop the flow of bad memory after bad memory.

After I had arrived home, I had searched endlessly for Akira. She had been with me during my revelation with Ikuto and Amu, but since then she had disappeared without explanation or warning. All I had found was Hara, who now refused to leave my side no matter how much I begged. The betrayal of my own subconscious had, for obvious reasons, done much more than upset me, and although I was eager for some quality alone time, the little chara refused to let me wallow.

"I'm not going to let you do something stupid, Shi-chan." she said resolutely, bobbing outside of my bed room door. I sat straight up in bed, my frazzled red hair sticking every which way after having been put through several restless naps.

"What are you implying?" I retorted, my voice remaining as monotonous as it had been for the past several hours. The small tan girl arched an eyebrow, floating closer to me and stopping by the foot of my bed.

"You're in a delicate state... I don't want you to do anything you may regret later," she murmured, eyeing me cautiously with the same pair of eyes that were currently staring at her from their place in my head.

"I'm not going to kill myself, if that's what you're saying." I snapped, curling up into a ball and laying my head back down on my pillow. Hara continued to speak, but I soon drowned out her voice with the sound of my own thoughts. I wanted to be alone- Completely alone. But at the same time, I wanted to be with someone. A loud voice in my mind had instantly suggested Kukai, but I cringed at the thought. When Kukai had learned of my dealings with Easter, he had reacted badly, which was proof that despite his carefree attitude he was not at all as accepting as he made himself out to be. How would he react if he were to learn that I... I didn't even want to think those words.

A much smaller, weaker voice piped up then. 'Ikuto', it told me. I wondered why this instinct came to me second, and not first, as I felt it should. Ikuto understood. Ikuto knew me for me, and not as the happy student that Kukai seemed to think that I was. He also could share in at least a small part of my pain- After all, it was his father, Aruto, who my mother had run off with, and that was what had put me in this devastating, scarring situation in the first place. Ikuto was who I needed, although I knew that I could never, would never, ask for him. Finally somewhat sorting through my jumbled thoughts, I felt myself slowly drift into another, most likely restless, slumber.

_"Mama!" I chirped, my short red hair shifting as I skipped closer to the beautiful blonde woman in front of me. She turned her head in my direction, a wide smile breaking out over her radiant face. Her pure blonde hair, her pristine skin, all of it screamed out to me 'angel'._

_"Shiuta, what are you doing up so early?" she asked, patting my head as I made my way over to where she sat outside. I hummed incoherently in my throat, beaming up at my mother, who simply laughed softly before sitting me in her lap._

_"I came to sing with you!" I replied happily, taking her long platinum locks in my fingers, carefully braiding the pristine strands with my tiny fingers. Her laugh radiated through her chest, and from where I sat I could feel it._

_" 'I promised you an ocean of...' " she began, her voice raising an octave or so the farther along she got with her words._

_" 'Mother of Pearl, gold and indigo,' " I continued, but she stopped me from singing any more by pressing a long thin finger to my lips. Her smile was kind, but I knew she was telling me that I was majorly off pitch. I stopped singing, and instead we sat in silence for what seemed like hours, and I leaned against her chest. Her gentle breathing calmed me, the steady in-and-out rhythm unchanging despite the passing time. "You and Papa have been fighting." I said finally. It wasn't a question. I had seen them at it, yelling swear words at each other in the kitchen while they thought I was still asleep._

_"Where on earth would you get an idea like that?" she asked, her eyes feigning innocence as she peered down at me. I frowned deeply, my forehead creasing. Adults banked way too much on the notion that children such as myself were not only extremely unobservant, but hopelessly naive. _

_"I've heard you." I replied, my large hazel eyes glancing up to look at her. Her calm expression flickered, and I knew that she knew that there was no hiding it anymore._

_"We have been having some... Disagreements." she admitted after several minutes, averting her eyes and instead choosing to stare at a slowly falling leaf, which was caught up in the soft morning breeze. "We have discussed... My moving back to America... Without Papa."_

_"Without Papa?"_

_"Yes." she said simply, smiling down at me never the less, her kind eyes searching mine for any signs of distress. Instead, I smiled, grabbing her hand in mine._

_"But, you'd take me with you. Right?" She let out a soft laugh, grabbing either side of my face gently with her hands and turning my face up to stare at her. Even though she was laughing, and the kind smile on her lips refused to leave, I could see her eyes were watery. She touched her nose to mine, and I giggled childishly as she batted her eyelashes at me._

_"I would never, ever leave you, Shi-chan."_

* * *

Days passed. I didn't leave the house, not once. Not even when Monday rolled around. School no longer seemed to matter, and my already horrible mood and mindset were only worsened by the fact that Ikuto had yet to make an appearance of any sort. My heart ached, possibly even more than my mind and body, and the pain was inescapable. Through all this, however, I hadn't cried. It was strange- I didn't know why I couldn't. I had wanted to.

When I had arrived home after the fateful incident, I had run to my bed and just hugged my knees to my chest. I could feel that familiar pain wash over me, that feeling that you get when you know that you need to cry. But no tears came. They had yet to come, and I felt as if I had springs coiled tightly inside of me that had gotten stuck. I couldn't shake the feeling of being suppressed by something, but at the same time I could do nothing to free myself from it. It was infuriating.

"Shiuta, the phone is ringing." Hara's soft voice broke through my thoughts, and I instantly pressed the 'end' button on my phone. I knew who was calling- ALTO was wondering what I was doing, I was sure of it. What I was doing was in violation of two contracts; One with Easter, and one with ALTO. Both were very similar. Two powerful corporations with mystery leaders whom I had never actually met, backed by anonymous funding, and always vague on what their purpose actually was. Each shared a common goal: Find the Embryo. "You can't just ignore them."

"I'll do what I want." I snapped, my mismatched eyes glaring icily up at her. She backed down instantly, apparently sensing my discomfort, and instead floated back into my room. She did not reemerge. Eerie silence lingered in the empty room that I now occupied, and the ever-pressing loneliness began to press in on me once again. I felt the familiar stinging sensation of tears in my eyes, but none fell from them.

All this time, I had always been alone. There had been no one else to suffer through my life with me. "Akira and I" did not exist- It never had. The only person who I had ever been tied to was only a figment of my imagination. All that guilt and suffering I had put myself through for not being able to help my precious sister was useless. I had only added to my own suffering. And for what? A sibling that had only been created for the protection of my own sanity. It sickened, saddened, and angered me all at once.

A knock at the door signified the arrival of the morning mail, which came slipping through the mail slot not a moment later, the light shifting noise of paper on paper meeting my ears as the envelopes slid to the ground. I stood up, pulling my sweater down over my bare legs as I walked, and I wondered how I had possibly forgotten to put on pants this morning. As I shifted through the mail in my hands, my fingers touched something stiffer than paper- It was a CD. My eyes widened, slipping the disc out of its envelope and turning it over in my hands.

It was fiery red in color, like my hair, and my stage name was scrawled neatly in white at the top, the sleek cursive only adding to the simple yet elegant appeal of the design. I continued to stare down at it, my eyes darting back and forth between it and the CD player in the corner of the living room. Deciding there was no harm in it, I slipped the disc inside of the machine and pressed play, turning up the volume all the way as I did so. My own voice washed over me, the sad and depressing lyrics filled with rotten feeling making me feel sick to my stomach. These feelings had been for a sister I lost- A sister that never was. These words meant nothing.

The phone rang, and it was barely audible over the blast of my music. I checked the caller ID first, and it was a number that I didn't recognize. I hit the middle button, not bothering to turn off my music and instead plugging my free ear with one finger.

"Hello?" asked a familiar voice. It was difficult to hear, but I was reluctant to turn my music down. Something about the blasting music, my meaningless lyrics, and the pointless seemed to drown all of my turmoil away.

"Hello." I muttered. Kukai stayed silent for a moment, apparently also struggling to hear what I was saying.

"Where have you been?" he asked finally, and I felt my grip tighten unconsciously around the phone.

"No where in particular." I answered, and I heard him 'tsk' loudly.

"Are you at a party or something?"

"No."

"Then where?"

"None of your business." I muttered, taking the phone away from my ear and ending the call. I had thought that hearing such a familiar voice would make me happy. Clearly, I was mistaken. I didn't want to talk to Kukai. There was nobody else I wanted to talk to- Only Ikuto. I guess that was too much to ask. I hadn't seen nor heard from him since the incident, and mental pictures of he and Amu comforting each other from the most likely extremely traumatic experience they had both had with me entered my mind's eye, and once again I felt angry.

I walked slowly to my room, dragging my feet as I did so. I felt as if I should be more scarred. More horrified. More disgusted. But I couldn't feel anything. It was as if my mind had shut off, and now I was just walking around in this empty, beat up shell that used to be a girl. I sank into my mattress, letting the fluffy feeling of it comfort me as I lay back. It did nothing to soothe my aching muscles, and I wondered if I should just take another shower.

"Shiuta..." Hara murmured, and I opened my eyes to see the little Chara hovering above my nose. "How are you feeling?"

"Total shit." I replied dully, not really caring if I sounded crass or rude. Lately, I couldn't really be bothered to care for much of anything. "Hara... Where is Akira?" I murmured. She shut her eyes, and it looked as if she didn't know whether or not she should answer.

"What you need to understand about Akira, Shiuta..." she began, landing lightly on top of my chest. Her deep brown waves spilled out over my collar bone, surrounding her where she sat. "She represented your feelings of not wanting to accept. She was created out of all of your lies." she said softly. I let out a long sigh, averting my eyes and instead staring up at the ceiling.

"All of my lies... Huh?" I whispered. I wondered if she had known. If Akira had known that she was just a mirage, a fake, a lie. In this world, her existence meant absolutely nothing- She was meaningless.

I wondered if she knew that.

* * *

Darkness crept through my windows, and still I had not moved from where I lay. My breathing came out even- Not strained, not unnatural. Somehow, I hadn't expected to take this sudden turn of events so well. I wondered if maybe something was wrong with me. I began to shut my eyes, deciding that maybe the best thing to do would be to sleep on it, but before I could, I froze. Someone was in my house.

"Who's there?" I hissed, sitting up quickly and glaring around my room. I was sure that I had heard them. I whisper, or a click, or a footstep. I had heard something. Another sudden creak alerted me to the mystery person's presence, and I grabbed the closest thing to me- A pillow. I mentally slapped myself in the face, knowing full well that, should there really be anyone dangerous, this would not prove to be the least bit useful. I tip toed to my open door, lifting the pillow above my head before peering around the corner.

"Shiuta?" I screamed loudly, flailing my pillow wildly in front of me. I felt someone grab my wrist, and my mind instantly began to panic, and suddenly I couldn't stop the overflow of suppressed memories from entering my mind. Father grabbing me, throwing me, beating me. It had all happened to me. I couldn't let it happen again- I refused to allow it.

"Let go!" I yelled, kneeing the person in the gut and backing away quickly. I heard a thud as they hit the ground, groaning loudly as they held their stomach. Before I caught my breath, I flipped on the light, illuminating the hallway where we stood. Familiar blue hair met my eyes, and instantly I felt stupid. It had only been Ikuto. "Ikuto?" I breathed, kneeling down in front of him.

I don't think I had ever been more relieved to see a person in my whole life. The person who I had wanted to see most was here, to talk to me, to see me, to comfort me. After so many days of wallowing in my own self pity, he had come to see me.

And I had attacked him.

"Wh... What the hell?" he choked out, sitting up and rubbing his rib cage gingerly. I blanched.

"I-I'm really sorry," I whispered frantically, but all he did was grimace. "Do you need to lay down? Do you need ice? What-" Ikuto held a single finger up to my lips, and I stopped speaking instantly. My breath caught in my throat as I gazed into his azure eyes, and any thought process ceased immediately.

"Why are you asking me what I need?" he murmured seriously. With some effort he pushed himself upright, wincing slightly as he did so. I didn't think I had kicked him too hard, but it had all happened so fast I may have been mistaken.

"I... What?" Ikuto's gaze hardened and his deep blue eyes met my own.

"Shiuta... Your dad-"

"We don't need to talk about that!" I said loudly, folding my arms and looking away. I didn't want to hear what he was going to say- That I was dirty, or impure or frail. That I had lied or deceived him and Utau. That I was the lowest of the low, or that I was scum or that I disgusted him. He was quiet for a minute, his dark eyes searching me, and instantly I felt transparent. With eyes like those, it was hard not to. I felt as if he could see everything.

"It's something we should talk about." he said finally, and I felt myself flinch involuntarily as he touched my hand. I had never been this nervous around others before. I had never been concerned about being touched. "I'm not going to hurt you, Shiuta."

"I know that." I replied stiffly, but Ikuto merely shook his head.

"I don't think you do." he whispered, and I felt my heart rate increase. What was he saying? Of course I knew Ikuto wouldn't hurt me- He had done nothing to make me think otherwise. But then why was I flinching every time he touched me. "Even if you can't see it, you've lost trust in others."

"You can't know that."

"It's not hard to see, Shiuta." he murmured, pulling me closer to him gently. Involuntarily, I moved my body away from his, and he made a noise in the back of his throat. "Don't be nervous." Ikuto wrapped his arms around me, bringing me closer to him. I felt his chin rest on my head, and his steady breathing soon calmed my erratic heartbeat. "How are you?"

"Fine." I snapped, my face heating up at our close proximities.

"That can't be true."

"It is." I protested, struggling a but against his grasp. It was useless- He was much stronger than I was. "I haven't even cried once." In reality, I was not proud of this fact. It made me feel as though something was wrong with me. I should have been crying. Deep down, I knew I should be a horrible, terrified, wailing mess.

"That only proves my point." he replied. I stayed silent, letting the steady rise and fall of his chest soothe my mind. It was quiet for a long time, and it was as though time was standing still only when he touched me. "... You can cry, Shiuta," he said finally, and I froze.

"I don't need-"

"Stop it." he grumbled, and I felt his grip on me tighten. "Just keeping it in won't do anything for you. It will only make things worse. How long have you been inside? Two days? Three?" I said nothing, and I felt my fists clench where they were on his chest. I felt like I was about to throw up, and I had no clue why. "The longer you stay like this, the worse it will get." I said nothing, which he didn't seem to take too well. "Shiuta, for something like this, you _should_ cry!" My eyes widened, never having been spoken to like this by him. "It's alright to be hurt by it. It's alright to show it-"

"It's disgusting..." I murmured into his shirt, not wanting to meet his eyes. "I'm disgusting."

"No, you're not, Shiuta." he replied, burying his head in my hair. "Everyone has something in their life they are ashamed of. But this isn't something you should be ashamed of. You're here, now. You survived, and now you know the truth." A strange feeling was beginning to bubble in the pit of my stomach, and no matter how much I squeezed my eyes shut, I couldn't stop it. "It's alright to cry... About this, it's alright to cry..."

A stinging feeling came to my throat, that type you only get from holding back tears. My body began to convulse, and I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt the warm liquid spill over the edges of my eyes. The ice that I had always kept myself incased in- Not trusting, not loving, not caring- It had all been torn down along with everything else that I knew. I felt exposed and useless, tainted and used, lost and alone. I couldn't trust myself any more than I could trust others. But as I sat there in Ikuto's arms, my tears soaking the front of his shirt, I could feel the painful feelings being slowly washed away.

For how long we stayed like that, I am still unsure. When I did finally open up my swollen eyes, Ikuto was gone, and all that remained was the black jacket that he had been wearing the night before. I sighed heavily, picking up the dark cloth and inhaling slowly- It smelled like him. The house was silent, but from outside I could hear the birds chirping. The tightly wound coils inside of my had once again come loose, and I felt as though it was easier to breathe... Easier to be alive.

As I bustled around the kitchen, I suddenly felt much more light hearted. I knew that something like this would be hard to over come- Despite Ikuto comforting me, it would always be something I must work to overcome. In some ways, I couldn't help but think of it as a disease. Like cancer, this feeling of being broken and beaten was hard to rid my body of. Only from hard work and pain would it ever vanish- And even then, there was always the chance it would come back. And when that happened, there were only two choices- Treat it, heal it, fix it... Or let myself succumb to the misery that was my past, and end my life.

The stove clicked as I turned on the gas, setting the now full kettle on top of the burner. I set out a tea bag and a mug, and as I stared out over my home, all I could feel was grateful. Ikuto was right. I was here, now, alive and well. Perhaps not entirely well in my mind, but with time that would pass, as all things did. Although my physical scars had healed, my mind would be forever wounded by experiences no one on earth should have to endure- And I had endured it. Yet, here I was, and for that all I could do was count myself blessed.

A knock came to the door just as I was taking the kettle off the stove, and I sighed in annoyance as I placed it on the tile counter. I wiped my hands on my shorts, walking over towards the door as I did so. Part of me wished it was Ikuto again, and another part hoped with all of its might that it wasn't Kukai- I had been extremely rude to him the other day. I opened the door as yet another desperate knock came through the wood, and I wondered what this person's rush was. I opened the door quickly, preparing myself to scold whoever it was being so impatient on the other side, but no sooner had I met their eyes did I find myself speechless.

A beautiful woman stared back at me, her stunning blue eyes glittering in the early morning light. She was dressed fashionably, her high heels accentuating her thin, feminine ankles just the right amount. She smiled, her blonde hair whipping around her lightly tanned face in the breeze, her skin giving her the appearance of one who had recently been in the sun quite a bit. I continued to stare into her eyes. Those eyes and that smile, features that only one person I had known in the short span of my life had ever had.

"Mom...?"


	26. Live Life, Love Life: Ikuto's POV

**After about two years, at long last it's here! The FINAL chapter of Camera Obscura! Enjoy!**

* * *

"Yeah, I'm watching her now." Utau's voice screeched back at me through the receiver, and I had to quickly pull the phone away from my ears to avoid going deaf. A familiar pair of eyes stared back at me from the television screen, her smiling face illuminated by the stage lights as she spoke avidly to the interviewer.

It had been four years- Four extremely long, but somehow unnaturally quick years. The Embryo was long gone, as well as Easter. The little town where so much had taken place was far behind me, and I no longer planned on returning. Occasionally, I still spoke with Tadase, but as for Amu and the others, I hadn't the slightest clue what had happened to any of them. The last I had seen of Amu, she had chased after me in the airport just before I left to search the world for my father. Sometimes I felt bad, because I had told her that I would definitely come back and visit, but in all honesty I'd had no intentions to do so from the get-go. Amu was no longer the one I wished to get ahold of.

As for Shiuta, the last I had ever seen of her in person was having her cry in my arms. The following day I had arrived at her house- Closets were emptied, possessions were gone, and all of the remaining furniture had been covered in clear plastic. Her Charas were gone as well, and the only thing important that had been left behind was a note explaining herself to whoever may stumble upon it. I still read that note every day. And yet, I still couldn't understand what had caused her to leave.

For Shiuta to so eagerly leave with her mother, it was something that I had seriously never expected her to do. Of course, I hadn't been anywhere near her home at whatever time her mother had chosen to show up, so there would be no way of me knowing how things had played out. When I had learned that her mother had come to retrieve her after so many years, I felt hopeful, despite myself. I could still remember waiting around, jumping at every knock at the door, somehow half expecting for my father to make a long overdue appearance.

It never came.

Eventually, I decided to take it upon myself to go and find my father. My first stop had been ALTO, in America, which Shiuta had briefly mentioned in her letter, saying it was the place her mother worked. In the back of my mind, I must have been hoping to run into her there, but I got no such luck. Upon arrival, I had been allowed to meet with the director of the corporation, which strangely reminded me of Easter. It wasn't until later that I realized that the woman to whom I had spoken was none other than Miyuki Maria herself.

After a long but fruitless search, I had returned to Japan and lived with Utau for a year or so, much to her excitement. During that time, I began to see more and more of Shiuta in magazines, and her new found fame soon became an object of jealousy for Utau. A year ago, long after I had moved out of Utau's place, Shiuta had done an interview on live national television about abuse in the home, and somehow she seemed strangely confident about her past. It had felt strange, seeing the girl that I had once known speak so openly about a topic that, at one point in her life, she had even refused to cry about.

_"So many people refuse to speak out about what they've been through,"_ she had said, and deep within her mismatched eyes I could see something that looked a bit like nostalgia come over her as she spoke. _"They think they should be ashamed. But they aren't the ones who should feel that way." _I knew she was referring to what I had told her, on the very last night we had spent together. Needless to say, coming out as a girl who had experienced serious abuse in her childhood made her fame increase ten fold, and quicker than I could blink she was everywhere that I looked. I couldn't get her face out of my head.

As I stared down at her latest interview in an American magazine, I couldn't help but feel a tight, painful feeling in my chest. She had changed so much, and here I was, by myself, just following after her through articles and television programs along with the rest of the world. Her bright smiling face stared up at me from the magazine article- Her hair was shorter now, the choppy red ends barely grazing her shoulders. She no longer wore contacts, and she proudly displayed her only visible scar from her abuse wherever she went. An article had come out last month, an interview about her charity work to prevent child abuse.

I often wondered why she had never contacted me. Was it that she had gotten over me, or had she never been hung up on me in the first place? Even Utau wasn't sure, but somehow I could tell that Shiuta was still in contact with my sister, since she always seemed to know when and where Shiuta's next interview or show would be. That, and I had stumbled upon an envelope addressed to Utau from ALTO, which was still backing all of Shiuta's work. When I had asked Utau about it, she had smiled sadly, saying that this particular letter was not from Shiuta, but was instead from Maria. It was an apology. An apology for taking our father away, and apology for tampering with the lives that we had once lead. Utau had told me she was surprised that it had taken me so long to figure out what was behind the naming of the corporation- Aruto was a Romanized version of the word Alto***.**

"Ikuto, are you even listening?" Utau yelled suddenly, and I jumped. I hadn't realized that I had spaced out, my eyes still locked on the television screen, where Shiuta was finishing her latest interview. "You weren't, were you?"

"Hn," was all I said in reply, flipping through the magazine in my lap.

"Well, it's something interesting. So maybe you want to listen this time?" she said waspishly, making 'tsk' noise under her breath when I gave no response. "I _said_: 'Ikuto, I've got tickets to Shiuta's next concert'." My breath caught in my throat, and I was temporarily rendered speechless. "Yeah, I thought it might be something you would be interested in."

"Being smug isn't lady like." I teased, earning a whine from Utau on the other end of the line.

"I don't get a 'Thanks, lovely sister of mine, I know how difficult those tickets are to get'?"

"What you said." I replied stonily, still stubbornly refusing to give her what she wanted. In my mind's eye, I could clearly see her pouting.

"You know what, maybe I'll just take Amu instead." she threatened, and I could hear her shifting through some papers. "She's gotten pretty into Shiuta's music, lately."

"Really, now?" I replied, remembering how Amu had felt about Shiuta during the time that she knew her. To put it lightly, she hadn't liked her very much.

"Really, now." Utau replied, and I heard her sit down heavily on her bed. "So, what'll it be, big brother? Say thanks, or say goodbye to tickets." I rolled my eyes.

"You're such a bitch." I muttered, closing the magazine and slowly making my way into the kitchen.

"Mhm, because bitches _do_ often get their brothers tickets to popular music concerts so he can be reunited with the love of his life." she snapped, but I was only half listening, now busy rummaging through my refrigerator for something to eat.

"By the way, how'd you even get them?" I asked, taking a bite of the cold pizza from the night before. "Aren't they really expensive?" Utau remained silent for several minutes, and for a moment I thought maybe she'd had enough and finally decided to hang up.

"She sent them to me, Ikuto." she replied finally. She sounded sad, or maybe sorry, I couldn't quite tell which.

"Oh." was all I said in reply. Yet again, I found myself wondering why Shiuta had chosen to remain in contact with my sister, who she had hardly ever been around during her stay in Japan, and not with me.

"Ikuto, I don't think... It's not because she doesn't like you," she whispered. I shrugged, although I knew that she couldn't see it. I didn't want to say that I was being bitter, but in way I knew that I was. I had always thought that Shiuta had liked me, as a friend if not more than that, or maybe as a brother. But recently I had begin to think that I must have been mistaken. "Stop brooding, Ikuto."

"I'm not." I replied resolutely, although had I been looking in the mirror I was sure I would look fairly flustered by the situation at hand. "If she hasn't contacted me, what makes you think she'll want to see me?"

"She doesn't contact you because of Amu." Utau replied swiftly. I made a face. What the hell did Amu have to do with anything? " 'What the hell does Amu have to do with anything'. That's what you're thinking, right?"

"Uh..."

"You're really stupid, Ikuto."

"Excuse me?" I replied indignantly. Normally, Utau only ever called me stupid whenever I refused her feelings for me.

"You heard me." she said, and I heard her bite into something that sounded like a chip. "Whenever you were around Shiuta and Amu at the same time, you always acted more partial to Amu, you know."

"No I didn't." Utau made a scathing noise in the back of her throat.

"Well, then. Clearly, there's been a misunderstanding."

"Clearly." I retorted icily as I opened the door to my bed room. "That's a stupid reason."

"A woman's heart is a complicated thing, Ikuto."

"Shut up." I muttered, setting down the phone and taking off my shirt before climbing into bed. Utau and I talked for a few more minutes, and before I knew what was happening she had convinced me to come stay in Tokyo with her until the concert, since it was closer than the small town I currently lived in. I got little sleep that night, and soon I found myself packing instead of sleeping. The early morning sun was barely rising as I stuffed my bags into my car, the midnight blue paint glistening with dew.

It took me several hours to drive from my home in Akita***** all the way to Utau's small apartment in Tokyo. On the way there, I had to work to keep myself from becoming distracted, although listening to Shiuta's music hardly helped at all. Every time I listened to it, I always found myself running through a sort of montage of memories of Shiuta in my head, and it was always difficult to stop. Even if she hadn't been all over the TV and magazines, I still think that I wouldn't forget her face. Someone like Shiuta was hard to forget.

"Ikuto!" Utau squealed, smothering me with hugs no sooner had I gotten out of my car. Her long blonde hair was done up in a single braid, which ran down her back and ended only a little bit above her knees. I pushed her off quickly, her sudden closeness making me more than a little uncomfortable. Despite the passing years, not to mention her relationship with the Soma Kukai, she still seemed to think of me as a little more than a brother. "I told Amu you were coming, by the way."

"Why would you do that?" I sighed, rubbing my eyes with the tips of my fingers. During my stay, I really would have rather limited my companions to Utau alone, not to mention I still had no idea how Amu felt about me. That, and I had never returned to visit as I had promised. I felt like throttling Utau for telling her, but unfortunately she probably wouldn't give me the tickets if I did that. She pouted, hoisting one of my bags over her shoulder and leading me up the stairs to her apartment on the third floor.

"Because, Ikuto, she still really likes you!"

"Can't she get over that already?" I muttered as she unlocked her door with her key.

"Says the guy who's been hung up on a girl since he was like ten years old," she snapped. I grimaced- Utau was always very good at verbal low-blows. Dumping my stuff on the couch, Utau announced that we'd be going out to dinner with Kukai, Amu and Tadase. I had always expected for Amu and the Kiddy King to hook up after my departure, but apparently that sort of thing had yet to enter the naive boy's mind, and possibly even Amu's, even though both of them were almost seventeen. "Wear something nice, Ikuto. I mean it."

"Whatever." I mumbled, slipping off my black t-shirt and replacing it with a white button up collared shirt. Utau came out of her room wearing a black dress and heels, which I thought might be over doing it a bit for a mostly casual dinner. When I pointed this out, however, I was met with a heavy blow to the top of my head.

Dinner was, at first, fairly awkward. Amu couldn't speak a sentence without stuttering, and her attitude towards me seemed to seriously be pissing off Tadase, who kept trying to catch her attention throughout the entirety of dinner. Kukai and Utau were off in their own little world, leaving me to fend for myself, and things only got worse when Amu asked me to come outside with her.

"Want one?" she asked, gesturing to the pack of cigarettes she held in her right hand. I made a face, raising my eyebrows as high as they would go as I shook my head in response. She pouted, lighting the cigarette and inhaling deeply. It seemed that, although she was still bad around men (namely me), Amu had changed quite a bit in four years.

"That'll kill you, you know." I said monotonously, regarding her with a lazy sort of expression. Her 'Cool and Spicy' attitude seemed to kick in at that point, and instead of becoming flustered she simply leaned up against the railing, saying that she didn't care. I rolled my eyes.

"Why didn't you ever come back, Ikuto?" she asked, her large amber eyes gazing up at me as she took another long draw off of the death stick in her hand.

"I never meant to come back." I said truthfully, meeting her eyes so she would know that I was being completely serious. She looked slightly taken aback, and instantly I could see the color rising in her cheeks.

"Oh..." was all she said for a moment, casting her eyes to the ground as she debated on what to say next. "I guess I thought... Well, you know, that you-"

"I know."

"And you didn't?"

"No." I replied, gazing up at the starry sky above us. She was quiet for some time, the only noises coming from her were the ones of her inhaling and exhaling smoke repeatedly.

"It's Shiuta, then, right?" she murmured, turning around and leaning over the railing. The chilly breeze ruffled my hair, and it seemed to cool off her rapidly reddening face. I could tell she was embarrassed by having misunderstood me for all these years. I said nothing, turning my head and following the pair of people who had just exited the restaurant with my eyes until they disappeared down the stairs.

"Yeah. I guess it is." I said finally, and Amu sighed heavily.

"I see..." she whispered, dropping her cigarette and watching it as it fell to the ground below. "Is that why you and Utau are going to her show tomorrow night?" I nodded, digging my hands into my pockets and pushing off of the railing. "She's done really well, these past few years."

"Yeah, she has."

"Have you spoken to her recently?" I said nothing, and suddenly I found that the tables had turned, and now I was the one who was embarrassed. She didn't gloat or make fun, however, and instead turned her back to me and made for the door of the restaurant. "Well, I hope for your sake she feels the same way." she said, opening the door and turning back to meet my eyes briefly. "Or else you may find out you've been waiting around all this time for nothing." Despite myself, I smirked, walking towards her and bending down so that I was on eye level with her.

"What, you think that these past four years I haven't been with any women?"

"I... Well, I-I don't-" I snickered, holding the door open for her as her face turned a bright cherry red.

"Think again, _Amu_." She bit her lip, clearly flustered, turning her back on me and making her way back over to her seat beside Tadase.

"Stop being gross!" she whined, folding her arms and taking a sip of her drink. Tadase eyed her questioningly, but she payed him no mind, instead glaring across the table in my direction. I chuckled, resting my chin on the back of my hands.

"Amu, I'm twenty-one." I reminded her. "Honestly, you're always so naive," I teased, earning myself an elbow in the ribs from Utau who, despite her absence from our conversation outside, seemed to know exactly what I was referring to.

"Stop saying perverted things at the dinner table, Ikuto," she scolded as Kukai asked for the check. Utau and I bid our farewells to the rest of our party, walking slowly to the car together as the sky began to grow even darker. I turned on the car, and Shiuta's voice instantly came blasting out of the speakers. Utau gave me a sad smile as she picked up a CD case off of the floor.

"Have you really been with other women, Ikuto?" she murmured, gazing from me to the CD case. "I hope... You haven't just been waiting around..."

"A few." I answered stiffly, backing out of the parking space as I did so. Utau nodded to herself, and I heard her say something about 'probably not serious', under her breath. It was true. I hadn't been in any sort of serious relationship. The car ride home was silent as we both listened to Shiuta's old lyrics from her days with Easter fill the car, a feeling of nostalgia washing over us as we remembered our time with her- Both in our childhood, and four years ago.

The following day passed quickly, mostly because Utau kept us occupied by taking me to museum after museum. I guess she knew that, had we not had other things to do, I would just end up brooding over Shiuta and the concert, and although I didn't want to admit it, I was grateful that she had planned something like this. After eating a quick dinner, we once again got on the road, heading for the place where Shiuta's concert was to be held. It was packed when we got there, which Utau repeatedly said was my fault. On our way here, I had taken a wrong turn and we had found ourselves all the way back in Tokyo before realizing that I had doubled back. The concert had already started by the time we got there. I quickly lost Utau in the crowd, and soon I found myself being crowded from all sides by the many talkative and excited fans, most of which were singing along with the song currently being played.

I gazed up at the stage, which was several yards away from me. Even though we were separated by hundreds of fans, I found myself staring up at the eighteen year old girl who, four years ago, had been so sad and lost I thought she would never be able to get out of it. Her blue and hazel eyes sparkled in the stage lights, and even though you could see that her fringe was sticking to her forehead after an hour and a half of singing, she looked beautiful. The music stopped for a moment, indicating the start of another song, and as I watched her smile only grew as the next tune picked up.

_"Doro darake yo najime nai tokai de,_

_Onaji you ni warae nai, utsumuite aruita no._

_Isogi ashi de surechigau hito-tachi..._

_"Yume wa kanai mashita ka?"_

_ATASHI mada MOGAite iru..."_

_The stream bubbled as the rushing water ran over the smooth pebbles, the freezing winter water quickly numbing my toes as I waded through the shallow stream. Utau stood nervously on the riverbank, her long skirt hiked up past her ankles, but she still refused to take a step into the water. Shiuta had put her long red hair up into a pony tail, her pants rolled up to her knees as she went farther and farther towards the deeper water. _

_"What are you doing?" I asked watching as she stumbled and got her pant legs wet. She shivered slightly, sticking her arm in the water and pulling out a shimmering, smooth river rock. She smiled brightly, fixating her bright hazel eyes on the seemingly ununique rock she held in her pale fingers._

_"It's pretty, don't you think?" she asked, meeting my eyes as she waded back into the shallow area of the river. Neither Utau nor I had known Shiuta for very long. When we had first met her, she had been crying on top a brick wall down the street from our home. I had always known that a girl close to our age lived near us, but I had never really gotten to know her. I knew her mother, of course, who was good friends with my father, but I had never before spoken to her daughter._

_"It's just a rock." I replied stubbornly, making my way over to her and glancing at the pebble before rolling my eyes. "It's getting late. We should go home." Shiuta's face fell instantly._

_"I don't want to..." she murmured, and I raised an eyebrow._

_"Why?" I asked briskly, not particularly caring if I sounded rude or not._

_"Home isn't as happy as it used to be." she explained, sticking the rock in her pocket sneakily, thinking I wasn't really watching. "I'd much rather be somewhere peaceful, like here, with people like you. I'd rather be here." I grumbled inaudibly, taking her wrist and pulling her along behind me. At that time, I hadn't known how important a small, seemingly unimportant girl would become to me._

_"Kodomo no goro ni modoru yori mo,_

_Ima wo umaku ikite mitai yo._

_Kowagari wa umare tsuki."_

I made my way slowly towards the stage. It was tedious work, and it seemed to take hours just to pry through one group of fans, and I seemed to be getting no closer. I saw Shiuta wave to someone in the crowd, and I knew she must have seen Utau amidst the hundreds of people within the enormous stadium. She stretched out her hand as she sang, her eyes bright as she let the words roll off her tongue. I hadn't seen her look so happy in years.

"_Hi no atari basho ni dete_

_Ryoute wo hirogete mita nara_

_Ano sora koete yukeru ka na?"_

_I examined the many bruises that adorned the tiny girl's arms. I didn't want to touch her, for fear that she flinch or run away. Shiuta never complained about her life at home. Her mother and my father had vanished months ago, but I never brought it up or mentioned it. I figured that she would rather not talk about it. Dark circles decorated her eyes, and I had a sneaking suspicion that they weren't from lack of sleep, rather, from a fist._

_"Stop staring." Shiuta muttered, folding her arms over her chest and turning away. I sighed heavily, shoving my hands in my pockets and looking out over the empty street._

_"I wasn't." I replied resolutely, glancing down at her but not able to meet her eyes. She had been avoiding both Utau and I lately, and this was the first time I had spoken to her in several days. Each time I saw her, she had some knew injury. Some new limp, bruise, scar, or cut. I wondered if she knew just how bad it was getting, but I guessed she was in some state of denial. "You don't have to ignore me, you know. I'm only trying to help." I muttered, and I suddenly felt something warm wrap around my hand._

_"I know." she murmured. She continued to avoid my eyes, but she intwined her fingers with mine in a shy, nervous, cautious sort of way. I smiled softly, squeezing her hand and nodding solemnly._

_"Just know you aren't alone, alright?" I whispered, and she nodded._

_"I know." she said again. Deep down, I knew that she still thought she was all alone._

_"Nante omottanda,_

_Tobitatsu tame no tsubasa..._

_Sore wa mada mie nai._

_KANTAN ni ika nai kara ikite yukeru,_

_Nureta koinu hiroi ageta dakede._

_Chotto warae chau hodo,_

_Namida ga koborete kita..."_

I pushed past yet another group of people, and now I was mere steps away from the edge of the stage. Bright lights stung my eyes, the roaring of the crowd over powered only by the volume of Shiuta's bird like voice. Her short red hair whipped around her face as she moved with the music, and she suddenly cast her eyes downward, meeting with mine, and sudden recognition clouded over them. I felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth as I stood up straighter, not allowing myself to be moved by the ravenous crowd of fans.

_"Aisaretai... aisaretai bakari,_

_ATASHI itte ita yo ne._

_Motomeru dake ja dame ne..._

_Kodomo no koro wa MAMA no koto._

_Hidoku kizutsuketa_

_Hi mo atta yo ne kawari tai._

_Ima zenbu!"_

_"Shiuta," I murmured, and I saw the young girl in front of me jump in surprise, splashing tea everywhere as she did so. The sun was setting over the large lake, which I often came to when I liked to think. She turned around, her currently matching hazel eyes blinking up at me curiously. _

_"Ikuto?" she asked, and I had to stop myself from saying something like 'Stupid, of course it's me'. I walked closer, my hands in my pockets. The fight we had had the other day was replaying over and over in my mind, and I wondered if she was still angry. _

_"What I did... What I said..." I murmured, refusing to meet her eyes and instead choosing to look out over the lake. She shifted uncomfortably, and I heard her drum her fingernails on the aluminum can she held in her hands. She shook her head._

_"It's fine. I'm the one who should be apologizing, I stabbed you..." she replied softly. I made a noise in the back of my throat._

_"Yeah. Because I choked you." I said, clenching my fists in my pockets so she couldn't see. "That's even-steven in my book." We each stayed quiet for a moment, neither of us knowing what to say. "Amu told me. You know, about you and that Kukai kid." She raised an incredulous eyebrow, apparently unclear on what it was exactly that I was trying to say._

_"What about me and Kukai?" she asked innocently, and I watched as the tropical glow of the sun reflected in her bright red hair. I chuckled darkly, knowing that she was probably playing dumb for my sake._

_"That you guys are dating." I said simply, but that simple statement of "fact" ended up making her choke on her iced tea, and she was instead forced to spit it out to avoid suffocating to death._

_"We aren't dating, Ikuto." she replied, but I saw something that looked like sadness flash over her eyes. A pang went through my heart, which I instantly dismissed as sympathy rather than jealousy. There was no way that I was jealous of that fourteen year old guy. No way in hell._

_"What? Amu said..." She scoffed, flipping her hair out of her eyes. Her gaze hardening quickly, replacing the sadness or regret that had inhabited them previously._

_"That Amu has a big mouth- She should stop her vendetta against me before I have to kick her ass." she replied, glaring out over the lake._

_"Don't say stuff like that." I said quickly. I often wondered why Shiuta was so calm about threats and fighting- With a past like hers, I would have thought she would be less open about such things. She smirked up at me, suddenly smug about something._

_"Do you like Amu?" she sneered, and my trademark smirk broke out over my face._

_"Jealous?"_

_"Not really." she said quickly, and somehow I felt like she might mean it. I was silent for a moment, carefully studying her passive expression._

_"Soccer?" I asked, pointing at her uniform, and she smiled._

_"Yeah, I made the team. Only girl." she replied proudly._

_"Whoa, way to go," I congratulated, holding out my palm for a high five. She complied, smacking her hand up against mine, but the instant her skin came into contact with my own, I could no longer control my actions. My fingers bent over hers, intertwining between them like they used to so many years before. The skin of her hand was cool and damp from holding the can of tea for so long, and I shut my eyes, letting myself revel in the feeling of my hand in hers._

_"Ikuto?" she murmured, and I knew she was carefully studying my expression._

_"Yesterday, I was thinking..." I began, breathing in deeply as the evening breeze rushed over my face. "About when we first met..."_

___"Hi no ataru basho ni dete..._

_Kono te wo tsuyoku nigitte mitai._

_Ano basho ano toki wo kowashite,_

_I can change my life!"_

_I gazed into the flustered hazel eyes of the girl laying next to me, her usually calm face now colored scarlet from embarrassment. I snickered, running my fingertips through her hair lightly._

_"I didn't let anything happen..." she murmured, turning her eyes away shyly. Nervously, she scratched the back of her neck, as if she wanted to ask a favor. "Could you do that again?" she asked, looking anywhere but at me. I chuckled._

_"No way, you'll yell at me again," I replied, smirking as she finally met my eyes._

_"I never yelled!" she protested, grabbing my hands unconsciously as she spoke._

_"See? You're doing it again," I pointed out, shutting my eyes to indicate the finality of my words. She pouted, releasing my hands from her grasp and flipping over on her back. _

_"It just felt nice, that's all." she said, shutting her eyes and knitting her eyebrows together. "Forget I asked." I was quiet for a moment, watching her carefully with my eyes half open. The steady rise and fall of her chest was almost entrancing, and finally I decided to just give in. I sat up a bit, moving her wrists off of her stomach, and replaced them with my own. She shivered, and I felt her muscles relax as my fingertips ghosted over her pale skin. It wasn't long before she drifted off to sleep, but even after I was sure that she was completely unconscious, I continued to move my fingers over her skin._

_Demo kokoro no naka subete wo._

_Totemo tsutae kire nai,_

_KANTAN ni ika nai kara..._

_Ikite yukeru..."_

As I watched her, Shiuta slowly made her way to the edge of the stage, crouching down in front of me and holding out her hand. My eyes widened slightly, and I was struggling to keep myself calm- Something which, normally, was such an easy feat. I smirked, taking her hand and letting her pull me up onto the stage. People in the crowd began to stop singing, their confused gazes settling on Shiuta and I as we locked eyes for what seemed like forever. But it really didn't seem to matter.

_"Hi no ataru basho ni dete,_

_Chizu wo, hirogete miru kedo._

_I know, You know,_

_Mayoi michi mo shikata nai..._

_I can change my life!_

_Sugite kita hibi zenbu de,_

_Ima no... atashi nanda yo,_

_KANTAN ni ika nai kara,_

_Ikite yukeru!"_

The song ended, and despite their confusion the crowd erupted in raucous applause. From where I stood I could see a familiar blonde girl standing in the crowd, and I noticed that she was surrounded by several familiar people- Namely Tadase, Kukai and Amu, whose eyes looked sad and happy all at once. I glanced down, my eyes once again meeting with the blue and hazel pair staring up at me. I smirked, resting my arms on her shoulders so I could be on eye level with her.

"It's been a while, Shiuta," I murmured, my face coming dangerously close to hers. She smiled brightly, and I felt her hand brush over the side of my face.

"Four years is a long time." she replied, and even though the crowd continued to roar with clapping and yelling, I could hear her just fine. "What have you been doing?" I smirked only widened.

"Waiting around for you, as usual." I said, leaning in a little more so that our noses were almost touching. I heard her make a small laughing noise in the back of her throat as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

"For four years?" she asked, tilting her head to the side as I got even closer. "Somehow, I doubt that." I chuckled, my lips barely brushing over her own.

"It's the truth." I whispered, and I finally felt my lips on hers, the warmth that I had only felt one time before spreading over me. She pressed her body into mine, and I tangled my long fingers in her now short hair, the red locks soft against my skin. "You look good with short hair, by the way," I murmured against her lips, and she laughed softly as I brushed my tongue against her lips.

"I missed you..." she said softly, leaning her head into my chest as we broke away. I nodded, kissing the top of her head as the lights began to change colors. "Is that Amu?" she asked incredulously, glancing over at Amu's group as I continued to hold her close to me.

"Jealous?" I snickered, glancing down at her as she shifted her head to look up at me.

"Definitely not." she replied resolutely, once again reaching up and kissing me. I smirked against her lips, and after four long years I finally felt that whatever it was that I had been looking for, I had found it.

-End-

* * *

****Author's Note:**

**Two years and twenty six chapters- I've finally finished the first story I stared on this site. Thanks to all those who have reviewed, read, favorited- Especially those who reviewed for almost every chapter! It really encouraged me to keep this thing going! Thanks so much for all of your support.**

**The ending is a little bit sappy/cliche, I know. But I felt as if a story as dark as this should have a little bit of a happier ending, you know? Perhaps it was a bit of an abrupt ending, maybe not, but I felt that at long last it was time to end this story. I hope it came out all right! Be sure to review- And depending on what you all want, I may do a bonus chapter after this one. It's completely up to you! Otherwise, this is the very final chapter of Camera Obscura!**

***If you check Shugo Chara Wiki, it does indeed say that Aruto is the Romanized form of Alto, which has something to do with music.**

***Akita Prefecture: is a prefecture of Japan located in the Touhoku Region of northern Honshu, the main island of Japan. The capital is the city of Akita. **

**Songs Used, Titles/Artists, in order from the first chapter:**

**Still Doll- Kanon Wakeshima, Chapter 4**

**Tabi no Tochuu- Natsumi Kiyoura, Chapter 5**

**Walking on Air- Kerli, Chapter 5**

**Werewolf- CocoRosie, Chapter 9**

**Dragons- The Green Children, Chapter 10**

**Life Was Beautiful- The Green Children, Chapter 14**

**Two Doves- Dirty Projectors, Chapter 21**

**R.I.P. Burnface- CocoRosie, Chapter 22**

**God Has a Voice, She Speaks Through Me- CocoRosie, Chapter 23**

**Fatherhood- CocoRosie, Chapter 24**

**Life- YUI, Chapter 26**

**Again, thanks so much to all of my loyal readers and reviewers- Your support was much needed and appreciated! Be sure to review!**

**Thanks again!**

**- Shiuta-san**


	27. Bonus Chapter: Reunion

"Hey, hey," An unusually deep voice floated up from below me, and I glanced down to the small boy who who was tugging on my hand. I chuckled, squeezing his hand as we continued to walk. His deep purple hair caught the light, hazel eyes staring up at me in a curious manner. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to go see mom," I replied as we turned the corner. He grumbled under his breath, and I tugged on his arm gently. "What's that?"

"Whenever we go to see mom there are huge crowds." he mumbled. I chuckled yet again, casting my eyes down to meet the aggitated eyes of my only son. The sound of music soon met my ears, and it only grew louder the farther that we walked. It was a beautiful summer day, and I had the sleeves of my white collared shirt were rolled up to my elbows, and the shirt was unbuttoned in a desperate attempt to relieve my body from excess heat- Some of which had nothing to do with the weather. Despite being married for a little over eleven years, every time I saw Shiuta I got a fluttering feeling in my chest, and even though my personality was normally calm, cool and collected, there was something about the vivacious red haired woman that made me feel jittery and nervous.

"Dad, your hands are getting sweaty," a voice muttered, and the next second I felt him tug his hand free of mine. "Gross." he murmured, wiping his hand on his shorts. In the eight short years that my son had been on this earth, I had grown to love him more than almost anything in my life- A fact which almost always got me thinking. How both my mother and Shiuta's had managed to leave us, I would never know. I knew that I could never leave my family.

_"Yume ni made mita you na sekai de,_  
_Arasoi mo naku heiwa ni kurashitai."_

I raised my eyes up from my son, and they soon fell on the familiar red head standing on the stage far in front of me. Over the years, she had kept her hair short, and now it barely made it past her chin. A dark indigo top with loose sleeves covered her body, and I couldn't help but be amazed at how the young girl that I had first fallen in love with had grown into the beautiful woman singing on the outdoor stage in front of us.

_"Mou gaman bakka shiterannai, yo..._  
_Iitai koto wa iwanakucha._  
_Kaerimichi yuugure no basutei,"_

"Hey there, Ikuto!" a voice called, and I turned to see my sister, Utau, running up to me. A wide smile adorned her face, a flowy white sun dress giving her the appearance that she was much younger than she actually was. "Hey, little guy, what's up?" Utau chimed, crouching down so that she was on eye-level with my stoic son.

"Hello, Aunt Utau," he muttered, his hazel eyes remaining calm as he stared at my sister. She pouted, ruffling his hair playfully before straightening up.

"You're a bad influence on him, Ikuto, he's becoming so cold!" she whined as she placed her hands on her hips. I chuckled, exchanging glances with my son before meeting her eyes once again.

"So where's Kukai?"

"He couldn't make it, he had work." she replied before waggling her fingers in front of my face. I raised my eyebrows as my eyes were met with by a sparkling engagement ring.

"About time," I muttered as a light blush coated my younger sister's cheeks. Kukai and Utau had begun dating long before Shiuta and I, but I guessed their on and off relationship had something to do with their belated engagement.

_"Ochikonda senaka ni bai bai bai_  
_Kimi no fighint pose misenai gao!_

_Yume ni made mita you na sekai wa_  
_Arasoi mo naku heiwa no nichi jyou,"_

"So Uncle Kukai isn't coming?" The purple haired boy beside me whined, folding his arms. Utau pouted once more, crossing her arms in a similar way.

"You're always more happy to see Kukai than me!"

"That's because Kukai is cool," he replied blandly, and Utau gave me a disapproving look. I shrugged, choosing to ignore her and instead turning my attention towards Shiuta, whose smiling face turned towards me for a moment.

"Utau!" Amu was now headed towards us, Nagihiko in tow. It had come as a surprise to everyone, me included, when Amu and Nagihiko had first started dating. I had always thought that she had a thing for Tadase, but apparently she had long since gotten over that. Truthfully, the purple-haired boy was much more suited for her, even if he was rather feminine looking. His hair was shorter than it had been the day that I first met him, and now only reached a little bit past his shoulders.

"Hey, kiddo." Nagihiko said fondly as my son tugged on his pant leg. Amu smiled, waving a little as she neared Utau and I.

"How've you been?" she asked nonchalantly, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her skinny jeans. Her hair had grown out a bit, the bubblegum pink locks reaching her elbows, and although the rest of her body didn't look too much different from years ago, something in her face looked more mature than it ever had. I nodded, glancing down at my son as he continued to speak enthusiastically with Nagihiko.

"Good," I replied, casting my eyes in Shiuta's direction once more. "Really, really good."

_"Demo gen jitsu wa hibi to rabu de._  
_Tama ni kuyabdari shiteru,_  
_Sonna rolling days!"_

"He's gotten big," Amu murmured, glancing over at the purple haired eight year old, who was now clinging to Nagihiko's hair as he sat on his shoulders precariously. "He looks like you." Even though he had purple hair, which had been an odd coincidence, considering Shiuta had red hair and I had blue, and he also had hazel eyes, the rest of his features did indeed greatly resemble my own. Not only that, but his voice was as deep, if not deeper, than mine had been at his age. It seemed that it ran in the family.

"So what are you and Shiuta doing for your aniversary?" Utau asked, glancing up at me curiously. I sighed contentedly, meeting with the eyes of my wife briefly before answering.

"About that- Can you watch him for us?" I asked, jerking my head in my son's direction. A sinister smirk spread over Utau's face as Amu blushed.

"Ikuto, are you thinking of doing perverted things with Shi-chan?" she asked innocently, tapping my nose with her finger. "If you aren't careful you'll have another kid." I smirked back at her, and Amu's face continued to turn a darker and darker shade of red.

"Maybe I am, Utau. I can have sex with my wife if I want,"

"I-I-Ikuto!" Amu squealed, biting her lips nervously and fiddling with the hem of her shirt. I chuckled.

"What? You date, you know what I'm talking about."

"I-I... Well, that... Yes, but..." Even after so many years, she was just as shy and naive as ever. For this reason, it was also good that she had chosen Nagihiko instead of Tadase, who was just as hopelessly naive as Amu. At that rate, they'd never get anything done as a couple.

_"Kitto uso nante sou kimi o motanai no_  
_All my loving sou janakya yatterannai,_

_Yume ni made mita you na sweet love..._  
_Koibitotachi wa kakuregao sagasu no._  
_Demo gen jitsu wa aenai hi ga."_

"So where are we headed after this?" Nagihiko asked, grasping my son's ankles firmly as he continued to perch on his shoulders. Amu smiled, ruffling my son's hair briefly before turning towards me.

"I thought we were going out to eat?" she asked, and I nodded in affirmation.

"Yeah. Shiuta really wants to catch up with you all," I replied, and my son beamed as he rested his chin on top of Nagihiko's head. The two purple haired boys always seemed to get along rather well, though the young Tsukiyomi had never had much patience for any woman other than Shiuta herself

_"Tsuzukinagara mo shin jiteru no lonely days..._  
_Wooh, yeah , wooh!_  
_Tsumazuitatte way to go, yeah yay_  
_Dorodoroke rolling star!"_

The song ended, the crowd around the stage errupting in applause as Shiuta finally took her leave. I continued to speak with Utau, Amu and Nagihiko as we waited for her to finish taking photographs and signing papers, and it wasn't until half an hour later that she finally made it over to where we were standing. She smiled brightly, pecking me lightly on the lips before taking our son off of Nagihiko's shoulders.

"Mom," he muttered, which was as close to an exclaimation as he ever got. She smiled kindly, adjusting his position in her arms so that it was more comfortable.

"Great job up there, Shi-chan," Utau said, running her fingers through her hair. "Your hair looks really nice, too. I like it this short," she complimented, and Shiuta smiled.

"Ikuto likes my hair better short," she whispered, pressing her cheek to our sons head as she spoke. I felt my face heat up slightly as Utau turned to me, a smug expression on her face.

"I... Well..." I muttered, shoving my hands into my pockets. After so many years, so many trials, so many errors, and still she had the power to make my heart beat erratically with a single look. Judging from her expression, I could do the exact same thing with her. When I thought about all that we had been through, and all that we had accomplished, it all seemed so long ago. The hatred, the sadness, the denial, and the hurt; It had all turned into love, hapiness, acceptance and peace. Our days with Easter seemed so far away, and I took her hand in mine as we walked towards the street, Utau hailing down a taxi from the side of the road.

Amu and Nagihiko exchanged a loving glance from in front of us, and I was happy to see that, despite being hung up on me for so long, Amu was now happy. Utau gestured to us to hurry, hopping into the taxi after Nagihiko and Amu. I smiled, taking our son out of Shiuta's arms as she ducked into the taxi behind the one with Amu, Utau and Nagihiko.

"You... Looked really nice today, mom." he muttered, and I shut the door behind me just as the car in front of us took off down the street. Shiuta smiled, reaching over and holding my hand from behind our eight year old son. "Thank you, dear, but this is one of my last shows."

"What? Why?" he asked, gazing up at her mismatched eyes with curiosity. She touched his face lightly with her fingertips, and despite my immense love for the boy I suddenly felt that there would be several intense power struggles with him in the future.

"I'll be spending all my time at home from now on," she explained, and I squeezed her hand lightly within mine. "And I won't ever be leaving... Aruto," she whispered, and despite myself I leaned over, capturing her lips with mine. Aruto grumbled to himself, crossing his arms and glaring at the carpet.

"Ew." he muttered, and I snickered against Shiuta's lips. And even though Shiuta and I had been through so much in the past several years, I couldn't find one thing that I could ever truly regret. Everything had led up to this- And this was something that I would never let go of.

* * *

**Song: Rolling Star- YUI**

**short bonus chapter, brought to you by popular demand, with Shiuta and Ikuto's son. I've never been a fan of Tadamu or Rimahiko- But I've always been partial to Amuhiko. So that's that. I'm kind of sad, in a way, that I'm truly finished with writing this story... But it had a good run! Hope you enjoyed this, and as always, reviews are appreciated!**


End file.
